Real Name: Christina Rothman Gender: female Date of Birth: July 09, 1981 Member Since: April 14, 2008 Last Signed In: September 15, 2008 Profile Views: 345 Blog Views: 1040 Real Love. No Regrets. Can I Brag?? Holiday Weekend. All in my head. Addiction within my Addiction. I'm so proud. Too Quick to Medicate? Weight Loss Week #3 April 08 May 08 June 08 July 08 August 08 September 08 October 08 November 08 
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Independence or Co-dependence?
I guess you could call this a blog. Although it's more of a very unorganized poll. With 3 children under the age of six, I have faced this situation often. When two kids are having an argument, tattling on each other.... and just being kids, what is your school of thought on solving the issue? I know parents on both sides of the line. One for example believes in addressing each issue, discussing it with the children and showing the lesson that should be learned. I, on the other hand, am more apt (after too much of this!) to tell my child to stop tattling and/or ignore it. I think this is an early example of conflict resolution? And you know, at this age, who gets to go down the slide first is a huge deal. I want them to learn their life lessons, but I don't want to coddle them too much. These two different situations apply to many areas in your children's lives. (Co-sleeping, home schooling, friendships, extra-curricular activites, etc.) So are you more of a "shelter, overprotect and pamper" kind of parent? Or do you tend to let them take a more self-reliant role in their lives? I am not saying one or the other is right or wrong! I would just love to hear about others' practices and why they work for your family. 2 comments from 2 users
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posted by
kevinmorrison
on May 16, 2008 at 06:40 AM
I don't respond to tattling unless there is some indication of injury, and even then, it's rarely for discipline, but just to make sure we don't need another trip to the E.R. I've told them enough times that if you don't like what someone is doing, then don't play with them or don't sit within arm's reach. Now, when they tattle (which is less and less), my complete lack of response actually speaks that to them. Now if I CATCH them behaving in a way that they like to tattle for, that's a different story. Time-outs or take aways are then put into place. But I don't acknowledge tattling. I want them to learn to solve their problem or at least learn to try. I HAVE made it clear that they can tell me what their sibling is doing if there is a self-imposed danger and they already tried telling the sibling to "Stop, that is dangerous." Other than that, deal with it on your own. The "plan" is making progress. We'll see how it goes. Every day is a new day. posted by
HeatherIjames
on May 16, 2008 at 10:09 PM
i judge on a case by case basis on what i'll intervene on. after ethan tells me what's going on, i'll either tell him he needs to deal with it himself or if it's something that needs adult intervention, i'm definitely on it. i've also been trying to be more proactive...listening and watching intently to his playing and when he starts to come to me to tattle for something trivial, i shoot him down almost immediately and tell him he needs to deal with it. but, i only have the one to watch after right now, while the other is usually strapped to my side.
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