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How did I get here? Well, I was irresponsible with my food choices.  I'm often lazy during my downtime.  I use the excuse of being so busy in the afternoons to help me justify eating out at lunch too often.  And I have kids, that don't finish their food, so I feel the need to not 'waste' it. 

Losing weight - as wonderful as it feels, it really sucks.  I have no one to blame but myself.  Long story short - While pregnant with Andrew I gained 23 pounds and automatically lost 14 of those.  I eventually lost the last 9 pounds, but then eventually gained them back.  Next, I got pregnant with Kaitlynn and again gained 23 pounds.  Seeing as that was ages ago (or maybe because I so choose) I have no clue how much I lost.  I just know that when I started Weight Watchers for the very first time, (in February) I was down 13 from my starting weight... and I had motivation. I was to be the Matron of Honor in my sister's wedding in July. You can be sure I was absolutely determined to not be the fat bridesmaid.  Well I did it! I lost almost 20 pounds and felt great.  But then the wedding and reception came and went.. and along with that went my motivation, right out the door.  I started back on Weight Watchers that following January, but was finally pregnant with baby #3. I threw caution to the wind with my eating habits during that pregnancy.  I figured I would eat whatever my heart desired and still only gain 23 pounds.  Not so!  This time, I packed on an extra 41 pounds, and I completely regret it. Seven weeks after giving birth, I started Weight Watchers once AGAIN, this time with my husband. He lost 18 pounds, I lost 6. Holidays came and went and we both fell off the wagon.  I signed up for Weight Watchers AGAIN in January and did well for a couple of months, but failed once more.  So about 3 1/2 weeks ago, I started on my own at home (which I do NOT recommend, meetings are a big part of succeeding) and did perfect for 2 weeks.  Heck, I even got up every morning at 6:30 and did a run/walk for 2 miles.  Last week was the third week in my weight loss journey, and exercise was nowhere to be found in my schedule.  This is week four, food choices are going well, exercise, again, is not. 

SO - tomorrow night I go back to my weekly meetings.  I am SICK and TIRED and FED UP and ANGRY with being overweight but not sure I can do it without a specific motivation. Yes I want to be healthy for my family, I want to have more energy, I want to live a long fulfilling life, but for some reason it's just not the same as when my sister got married.  Can someone invite me to be a bridesmaid?? ;) My goal in January was to lose the weight before Summer but as you can tell that didn't happen.  I have about 30 pounds to go before I can be considered 'average' according to those all-too-strict height/weight standards set by FDA/Insurance Companies/the Government, or whoever is in charge of those awful charts.

I plan on posting my weekly progress here, hoping that making my successes and/or failure public will help me along the way!