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I knew this would happen. It's 9 a.m. and has already started. I dropped off my son at school today for what will be his very last day of Kindergarten forever and ever and ever..... and there went the waterworks. I swear I can't get through any of my children's milestones without shedding at least a few tears.  We're just about to leave the house for his class party where I'll have to say goodbye to his teacher, his friends, his classroom, his pencil box, his chair, his homework chart, the hook where he hangs his backpack.... Okay getting a bit carried away, but seriously how do you all make it through days like this?  I thought life flew by when you had kids, but it REALLY whizzes by when you've got kids in school.  I know I'll be over this by tomorrow... just can't believe this day is actually upon us.

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How did I get here? Well, I was irresponsible with my food choices.  I'm often lazy during my downtime.  I use the excuse of being so busy in the afternoons to help me justify eating out at lunch too often.  And I have kids, that don't finish their food, so I feel the need to not 'waste' it. 

Losing weight - as wonderful as it feels, it really sucks.  I have no one to blame but myself.  Long story short - While pregnant with Andrew I gained 23 pounds and automatically lost 14 of those.  I eventually lost the last 9 pounds, but then eventually gained them back.  Next, I got pregnant with Kaitlynn and again gained 23 pounds.  Seeing as that was ages ago (or maybe because I so choose) I have no clue how much I lost.  I just know that when I started Weight Watchers for the very first time, (in February) I was down 13 from my starting weight... and I had motivation. I was to be the Matron of Honor in my sister's wedding in July. You can be sure I was absolutely determined to not be the fat bridesmaid.  Well I did it! I lost almost 20 pounds and felt great.  But then the wedding and reception came and went.. and along with that went my motivation, right out the door.  I started back on Weight Watchers that following January, but was finally pregnant with baby #3. I threw caution to the wind with my eating habits during that pregnancy.  I figured I would eat whatever my heart desired and still only gain 23 pounds.  Not so!  This time, I packed on an extra 41 pounds, and I completely regret it. Seven weeks after giving birth, I started Weight Watchers once AGAIN, this time with my husband. He lost 18 pounds, I lost 6. Holidays came and went and we both fell off the wagon.  I signed up for Weight Watchers AGAIN in January and did well for a couple of months, but failed once more.  So about 3 1/2 weeks ago, I started on my own at home (which I do NOT recommend, meetings are a big part of succeeding) and did perfect for 2 weeks.  Heck, I even got up every morning at 6:30 and did a run/walk for 2 miles.  Last week was the third week in my weight loss journey, and exercise was nowhere to be found in my schedule.  This is week four, food choices are going well, exercise, again, is not. 

SO - tomorrow night I go back to my weekly meetings.  I am SICK and TIRED and FED UP and ANGRY with being overweight but not sure I can do it without a specific motivation. Yes I want to be healthy for my family, I want to have more energy, I want to live a long fulfilling life, but for some reason it's just not the same as when my sister got married.  Can someone invite me to be a bridesmaid?? ;) My goal in January was to lose the weight before Summer but as you can tell that didn't happen.  I have about 30 pounds to go before I can be considered 'average' according to those all-too-strict height/weight standards set by FDA/Insurance Companies/the Government, or whoever is in charge of those awful charts.

I plan on posting my weekly progress here, hoping that making my successes and/or failure public will help me along the way!

Not that I didn't enjoy every second of it, but as much as I loved seeing my son playing "real" baseball this year, I for one am so glad it is over!!  We have done NOR T-ball 2 years in a row. It's a nice, affordable, comfortable program - One saturday a week for about an hour, for 5 weeks and it includes a shirt and hat.  However, seeing as we've noticed some talent in our son's left handed pitch and his batting skills, we decided to try something a bit more challenging this year.  So we signed him up for the Southwest Baseball League.  And although it was worth it, it was a lot more work for us parents than I ever imagined it would be!

The schedule was one weeknight practice, one weeknight game and one Saturday game each week, which occasionally could wind up as Thursday, Friday and Saturday, all in a row.  Each meeting during the week was always scheduled during dinnertime, which is understandable, nonetheless, still a HUGE pain in the neck.  It meant macaroni and cheese really quick at 4:30 in the afternoon, Granola Bars or Raisins in the car and ALWAYS eating out afterwards because we'd usually finish slightly after 7 p.m. in the evening.  We needed cleats, a bat, a ball, red striped socks, a red belt and gray baseball pants - on top of the registration fee.  But I promise you .. it was worth every penny!

It was a great joy to see him progress throughout the 18 games.  We loved watching him get "a big hit for us".  Or cheer out their appreciation for the opposing team after the game.  Of course Andrew's highlight of each game was the snack that followed..... I was just happy to be going home to rest so I could quit chasing the other children in a dirt lot filled with gopher holes. The biggest advantage was that I washed his laundry twice a week. Unfortunately it very often happened at the last minute so he'd wear wet socks or a t-shirt with a wet collar to his game.  It would keep him cooler, I'd assured him.  And recently I've heard there are real-life-crazy-people that actually play summer ball..... in BAKERSFIELD! eek!

Anyway, I'm just glad we'll be spending our summer in a swimming pool and our AC'd house.  It seems insane to even imagine doing all this again next Spring, but you can be assured that you will be able to catch us on a weeknight again with our baby's stroller loaded up with snacks, water bottles, baseball gear and a few folding chairs.

AYSO sign ups are going on now for the Fall.. wondering what their schedule is like? Experienced parents post here!

Just jotting down some quick thoughts here. 

Why is it that babies must grow up so quickly? I try my hardest to really enjoy every moment with them, to stop the clock for just a minute so that I can permanately embed that memory into my head.... but those moments pass all too quickly. 

My just-about-9-month-old is baffling me on how quick he's progressed in the last month. Crawling, 5 teeth, pulling himself to a standing position, sleeping through the night (I won't complain about that one) .... all in less than 30 days. My husband and I just look at him and wonder, 'What happened, How did we get to this point, When did you get so big?' 

I thought I learned my lesson the first time. With the oldest, I was in such a hurry for him to crawl, then walk, feed himself, talk, start school and such because it was all so cute and a lot of fun. So I promised myself with our daughter that I wouldn't be that way, especially because my husband told me she'd be our last.  But then life happened, we moved to Bakersfield and I got involved in playgroups and all the wonderful events that this town has to offer for parents and children. So we were go, go, going all the time and now I mourn her infancy because most of the time I can't even remember what she was like as a baby. 

So the third and FINAL baby would be different. I wouldn't rush him to do ANYTHING. (except for maybe sleep better) But you know what? It didn't matter. It still happened and I just wish I could stop the clock on our lives every now and then and truly, TRULY savor each minute with my kids so that I'll never forget how adorable, huggable, enjoyable and lovable they were as babies and toddlers.

As much as I crave a new episode of Desperate Housewives each Sunday night at 9 p.m. on ABC (just in case you want to check it out!), watching the two hour season finale tonight made me realize exactly WHY I watch "reality" television shows. (those are sarcastic quotes since most "reality" is scripted now days)

Anyway, the final episode of DH tied up all the loose ends from this season.  Who ran over Mike a couple of years ago, why the biological daughter of Katherine disappeared, how they were able to kill of the drug dealer and so on and so on.  Then like a bat outta hell, in the last minute of the show they fast forwarded five years later. Gabrielle now had 2 kids, Susan had a new husband and Bree had her previous man back. WHAT?! I could hurt the writers of that show!

I despise loose ends, incomplete tasks and cliffhangers in my life.  I can't stand not knowing all the details and making sure they are compatible with each other. For example, we decided on a location for my son's 6th birthday party in September. Since we got that far, I immediately had to open up a Word Document to make the guest list, calculate extra costs and settle on what food would be served.  Another illustration of this 'defect' of mine, is a possible cruise coming up in November. POSSIBLE is not a word I use very often. I need facts people! A friend mentioned this Mexican cruise to me a few weeks ago and I'm just about to go insane waiting for a final answer from my husband. I feel the need to have cabins booked, babysitter scheduled and bathing suits picked out - NOW NOW NOW!.

Coming off that tirade makes me realize why I enjoy so much "reality" television.  At the end of the series, I know who the winner of American Idol is.  There is clarity on who the newest Bachelor has chosen for his soon-to-be ex-girlfriend.  I'm able to sleep more soundly at night knowing who gets to be the boss at Chef Ramsay's newest 5 star restaurant. 

And it doesn't even bother me knowing that the producers most likely set up the fire in the kitchen or kept the most dramatic contestant from being eliminated just to increase ratings. Not sure whether to feel guilty about the instant gratification I get or satisfied for contributing to someone keeping their job.
 

So until September, I will spend a few extra minutes each day trying to shoo away that nagging feeling of what happened during that five year fast forward of Desperate Housewives.

In the meantime, I'm turning on Dancing With The Stars...........

Isn't it funny how our children think we can do ANYTHING?

Andrew confidently stated this morning that he wants me to go on American Gladiators so that I can beat Helga.  I told him how I wasn't strong enough to do that but he insisted that I am, because I have muscles. HA!

Thanks for the confidence booster buddy :)

I guess you could call this a blog. Although it's more of a very unorganized poll. With 3 children under the age of six, I have faced this situation often. When two kids are having an argument, tattling on each other.... and just being kids, what is your school of thought on solving the issue?  I know parents on both sides of the line.  One for example believes in addressing each issue, discussing it with the children and showing the lesson that should be learned. I, on the other hand, am more apt (after too much of this!) to tell my child to stop tattling and/or ignore it.  I think this is an early example of conflict resolution? And you know, at this age, who gets to go down the slide first is a huge deal.  I want them to learn their life lessons, but I don't want to coddle them too much.  These two different situations apply to many areas in your children's lives. (Co-sleeping, home schooling, friendships, extra-curricular activites, etc.) So are you more of a "shelter, overprotect and pamper" kind of parent? Or do you tend to let them take a more self-reliant role in their lives? I am not saying one or the other is right or wrong! I would just love to hear about others' practices and why they work for your family.

Well... my son did it today... for the first time. I knew this had to come sooner or later, I was just hoping it'd be later.... WAY later. You see, Andrew is not very observant of other people's quirks, looks or habits.  He's still young and naive, which I love for the time being.  We've never had to discuss the different ethnicities, looks or SIZES before, because it's never been brought up by him. 

While eating dinner tonight, he took us through our normal routine by asking about everything on his plate, "Mom, is pasta healthy?" "Is bread healthy?" "Daddy, Is milk Healthy?" He apparently had an epiphany that reminded him that they have been studying books in class which are explaining the food groups of the world.  He explained how meat, nuts and beans are in the healthy category and french fries and chocolate bars are in the 'Extras' category. "And Mommy, if you eat french fries on Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday, you're going to get big and FAT!"

And there it was.... he said fat.  I have not been looking forward to this day.  I dread the time when I'll hear in a grocery store, "Mommy, that man is fat!" And how am I supposed to respond to that? I felt safer when he would have just called the man 'big'. Then I could cover his tracks by saying "yes he is very tall honey. And when you're older, you'll be tall too" Fat just has such a negative connotation attached to it!  Heaven forbid the child ever calls me fat. The closest he's been was calling me a cow when I was asking Kaitlynn to "moooooove".

I know some of you have some entertaining stories where your children have embarassed you in public. Mine have done the same to me, but it's usually with crying and fighting, not pointing out the obvious about strangers in passing. So please share!!

*As a side note, I'd like to add, that mentally I am celebrating BIG TIME tonight! He finally learned to tie his shoes and I must say he does a pretty darn good job! We've been working with him off and on all through Kindergarten and his teacher is testing for report cards this week, so I'm thrilled that she will be able to mark that he accomplished tying his shoes this year!*

And that's me taking the good with the bad :)

We might have to get rid of our television for awhile. The commercials are putting my kids in this frame of mind where they realize that you are actually supposed to clean your house. Recently I've heard, "Mom, our ground is dirty, we need 'Bam! The dirt is gone'."  Today after seeing an ad for toilet bowl cleaner, Kaitlynn told me that we have monsters in our toilet and we need to clean them out.  Whenever they finish cleaning their rooms, they like to come see mine and lecture me on how MY room needs to be picked up.  They seem to enjoy pointing out when they don't have any clean socks or underwear.......And you'd burst into laughter if you've ever seen their reaction when they walk into a clean house after returning home from school.

What am I teaching these kids?!?!

Some heartfelt quotes for the occasion:

"A mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie." - Tenneva Jordan

"I hope my children look back on today and see a mother who had time to play! Children grow up while you're not looking. There will be years ahead for cleaning and cooking. So quiet now cobwebs; dust go to sleep. I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep." --Anonymous
 

"Children and mothers never truly part - Bound in the beating of each other's heart." - Charlotte Gray

When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child. - Sophia Loren

“The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.”
-Theodore Hesburgh

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Here’s a list of 5 things I can’t stand:

1. Those annoying commercials for allergies, asthma, and arthritis that list every side effect (diarrhea, dizziness, kidney failure, anal leakage, erratic heart beat, high blood pressure, sexual dysfunction, suicidal tendencies, restlessness, loss of vision and brittle nails) during the advertisement. Can’t they save that information for the doctor’s office?

2. Drivers that risk causing an accident by cutting me off so that they can be exactly one car length further ahead than they were just 38 seconds ago.

3. Children who stamp my glass tabletop with their grubby handprints AS I’m cleaning it.

4. Frantically searching the house for our telephone just to answer it and hear “Please hold, I have a very important message for you.” If you’d like to sell me your product, or you’d like the female in our household between the ages of 25 and 39 to take one of your ‘quick’ surveys, the least you can do is be present when I pick up the phone call.

5. People who ring our doorbell between the hours of 2 p.m. and 5 p.m. - Naptime in our house.

Feel free to add to my list! I’d love to hear your pet peeve so I can say “OH! Me too! Can’t believe I forgot that one!”

Back in August, my eldest son had a series of allergy tests done. His allergist had mentioned that his food allergies should start going away soon, but that he'd probably pick up more seasonal allergies, and I wanted to have his peanut allergy test re-done to see where we stand with that one. I wasn't sure how long we had to wait before he got re-tested, so I called them today.
 

ME - Hi I need to find out when my son needs to have allergy tests done again.
Lady - You have to talk to the doctor about that.
ME - ok, can I leave him a message or something?
Lady - No you have to have an appointment to talk to him.
ME - OKAY, Can I make an appointment then?
Lady - No, you need a referral.
ME - Do I call the insurance company myself to get the referral?
Lady - No, you have to see his pediatrician to get him to send one in.
 

O. M. G.
So I have to get an appointment with his ped. to get a referral, wait for that paperwork to come in (usually 3 weeks) so that I can make an appointment with the allergist (he's usually 6 weeks out) JUST so I can ask him WHEN we should see him again?

Guess that's how insurance companies make their money?! We miss Kaiser.

I'm not sure it's possible to add one more event to our current schedule.  Andrew is in Kindergarten 5 days a week and Kaitlynn attends preschool 2 half days a week.  We have gymnastics for her on Monday, Awanas for both kids on Wednesdays, one baseball game on a weeknight, one baseball practice on a weeknight, a baseball game every saturday, now church services on Sundays,. school events, volunteering, park playdates once a week and the occasional Mom's or Couple's Night Out.......throw in errands such as the bank, post office, grocery store and dry cleaners, doctors appointments, cleaning the house, working out each day, phone calls and don't forget quality family time..... And it feels like there isn't a second to spare!

This is the precise reason I am looking forward to summer. No school, no weeknight church classes, no gymnastics, no baseball practices/games... no nothing. (improper English, I know).........

But that just felt too weird!

So now it's swimming lessons 2 days a week, martial arts one day a week, maybe a few summer camps, possibly VBS and something that I haven't decided yet for my daughter. Throw in the free movies at Edwards, storytime, spray parks, playdates and the usual responsibilities..... plus a trip to Disneyland in May, San Diego in June, Crescent City in July and Pheonix in August... and where in the heck did summer go?

Wasn't it JUST starting? I feel like we always have to be on the move, and if I have just one day where we stay in the house to relax, I feel unaccomplished, irresponsible and just plain lazy.

It's a double-edged sword!

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Recently, a new magazine subscription (althought I'm not sure how!) started making it's monthly appearance into our mailbox. It's called 'Cookie'. I had never heard of it before, but at first glane you can sense it's aimed towards busy families. Some topics from our first issue are "East Family Getaways in the U.S.", "Great Birthday Parties Made Easy" and the one that caught my eye - "30 Family Meals in Under 30 Minutes".

I am continuously on the lookout for new recipes. I love to try out new food on my family and am always on the prowl for that gem to share at potlucks or family gatherings. I take some pride in knowing that we aren't eating frozen Chicken Nuggets and Macaroni and Cheese often for dinner (besides on game or church nights). Some favorites from my recipe collection are ones with names such as Fuss Free Ravioli and Cheese Bake, Taco in a Pan, Spicy Naco Bake, and our favorite of all favorites Bacon Cheeseburger Skillet. I fingered my way through the publication to page 132. I did not find simple named recipes. Instead, to my surprise I read about a Prosciutto, Cheddar and Apple Sandwich, Salmon with Lentils and Carmelized Onions, Lamb Burgers with Chutney Potatoes, Veal scallopine with Garlicky Spinach and Sweet Potato Lasagna.

Now besides Heather, who I can quote as saying she made "two chicken and bell pepper italian sausages with whole wheat penne in a chardonnay citrus and pesto sauce with a port wine reduction" for dinner one night, do normal families with small children eat like this?? (Besides you JASON) Is this what I'm supposed to be cooking during the week? I go back a couple of pages and see that the compilation of recipes was made by a mother of two who set out to "expand her kids' palates".

Hmmmm... my kids' palates are not expanded. Unfortunately they are very one sided and mostly unsophisticated. I do not eat beef, pork, or anything that comes out of the ocean... I should just say that as far as "meat" goes, it's turkey and chicken ONLY for me. So as you can assume, that's all I tend to cook. Anything that calls for ground beef is subsituted for lean ground turkey. Otherwise it's boneless, skinless chicken breasts or something vegetarian. My poor husband. No steaks, burgers or lamb chops - unless we're out, or he's cooking. Andrew begs for Red Lobster every time we pass by, but at the times I've offered it to him, he's refused even a taste of it.

In spite of all this, my children are not picky eaters. They love broccoli, bell peppers, salad, all kinds of beans and on and on. But am I being neglectful, damaging or inattentive to their developing tastes and preferences? Am I pushing my personal flavor onto them?

So I'd like to hear from you what you're cooking. And have you found that dinnertimes during your childhood had an effect on your partiality to particiular foods today?