Especially when you have two in diapers....!  I really enjoyed having some company - and it was nice to have mom stop by to clean the kitchen, play with the kiddo and do the things I didn't get to yet...like fold the load of laundry in the basket or cuddle and rock the baby.  I cherish the pictures I took of my grandma - and others - that stopped by to visit after both boys were born...those are awesome pictures to share with the kids as they get older, and those before us are no longer with us! 

I have to agree with srfbluemama - Who would turn down the help or a home cooked meal at your door?!  NOT me!  :0)  But, I always enjoy life going back to normal and being home and independent again with just the boys...especially after hubby's been on vacation, or we've been at the mercy of someone else's schedule....

I can see what you're saying, but from my personal experience, it was nice to have some help so I could ease into the transition. Instead of jumping into it immediately after I got home, I had some time where I had some help with things. My mom was here for a week helping out, and DH was able to take a couple of weeks of vacation. It was awesome for DH--he got to have a lot of bonding with baby time and bonding with the new big brother time that he otherwise would have missed. I also liked having the help--who wouldn't? But it wasn't that horrible after everyone went back to their normal lives. I don't think it made me less able to handle things alone. I think it helped to prepare me better so that it wasn't so much of a shock when it finally WAS just me and the two kidlets. Because even with the help, you still end up doing quite a bit anyway. It's not like you laze around all day while everyone else waits on you hand and foot. ;D

We had more help with our first born....simply because I was having a difficult time with breastfeeding and he was a difficult delivery for me (I guess relatively speaking...)  Colby weighed 9 lbs at birth and was quite large at 1 week early...Although I delivered him without c-section, I had a hard time adjusting to life as a new mom, lack of sleep, hormones....yada yada yada!  I'll never forget my MIL coming to see us on Mother's Day, the day my milk came in and I was a wreck!  She saved the day by renting me a hospital grade breast pump and delivering it to our home...gave me a hug and just reassured me that it would all be okay...I am pretty confident normally, but, this was all new to me!  Food, family and friends were a great help...I never turned help away, especially in the beginning!  We didn't have anyone stay with us...but, my mom did bring a bassinet for us (since I had just loaded the dresser the day before - it was backordered and arrived the day before I went into labor).  I was up and around much quicker the second time.  I had to be!  Colby was a climber and I still remember havin to hop up from the chair, while breastfeeding Caden, to get Colby down from the table, counters, or some other disaster waiting to happen!  He loved to scale the drawers in the kitchen in order to reach the counters and get to treats - or just see a new perspective.   

Being on the other end of delivering food to friends who have had babies, a death in the family, children having surgery....I do it because I enjoy delivering a home cooked meal, chatting, seeing the new baby or offering my support to a friend during a difficult time.  (No offense taken, just offering my perspective).  My husband used to wonder why I did this - organizing and delivering meals for firends - or those I had just met through a group.....until we had just moved, our oldest had to have his tonsils and adenoids removed, our youngest was having major asthma issues and I was a stressed out mess!  When a dear friend showed up with dinner, and a hug, I said to him after she left...."this is why I always organize meals for friends.  It's such a relief and a blessing to have dinner and not have to think about preparing, shopping, and cleaning up!"  The lightbulb finally clicked on for him a while later at church during one of the sermons about serving your community and going beyond what is convenient for you - like the good samaritain who offered his services and asked nothing in return - going out of your way, sometimes to your inconvenience, to help someone out.   

My wife had help, mostly because I am a SAHD to begin with.  Our small group from church brought us meals also, and as much as we appreciated it, it actually created a little more work.  We wanted the house to be nice and everything presentable.  We would never turn it down, but let's call it what it is...  our friends wanted to come over and see the baby as much as they wanted to bring us food.  No offense to any of our friends who may read this, but I'm speaking from my own experience as a food-deliverer as well.  :-)

Nobody needs the help.  We weren't created that way.  But sometimes it is nice to have it if it is offered.  I don't think it is a trend, just something that happens in some circles.

I think I had more help at the delivery then afterwards.  My mom missed my 1st son's delivery, she was in Texas for a work, so my dad stood in until almost the very end, he handed that duty over to my sister.  When I was attending a MOPS group in Bakersfield I took food over to a new mom, but it was 2 weeks after she delivered, you'd have thought the MOPS group would deliver food within a few days of the delivery.  I wouldn't have turned down help if it had been offered, but I don't think I would have needed someone staying with me for 3 weeks.  Everyone is different, everyone handles delivery different, just wondered if it was a trend new moms are going towards to have in home care for several weeks after delivery.

 When my son was born I was VERY LUCKY to have help from my mother and my sisters.  We come from a very close family and I know that unless I told them to NOT come over they would be there anyway.  I am grateful to them for that.  They wanted to be a big part of my child's life and at 2 years old he still has them in his life very much.  I do know that if I wouldn't have had that much help then I still would have gotten it done.  I would have just done what I needed to do the way you did.  My mom doesn't live 2 miles from me, she lives way across town but she WANTED to be here just as much as I WANTED her to be here.  I guess all families are very different and they way they function in situations like this is different.

But, if someone was there wanting to help you, would you turn it away?  I watch some of those baby shows on TLC, and it seems the grandparents want to be there to help, regardless of whether the parents need it or not.  After I had my second, I definitely was mobile enough to cook, yet, I didn't resist the people from my church who brought meals to us for two weeks following.  In terms of co-dependence in raising children, I always like to ask myself, "What would I have done 100 years ago?"  Thus, I never gave up on breastfeeding and I don't feel the need to have a million toys to occupy my children.