A blog about Personal Journals.
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Night Time Pull Ups Recap of Recent Kiddoisms Going Back to Work (a paying job, that is) Happy Birthday My Little Pumpkin Transplant Update #3 I'm Resourcing - Need Any Ideas You Have Tradition She's Got Skills Noses - 'Nuff Said April 08 May 08 June 08 July 08 August 08 
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My brain has been turning and turning this last week. Preschool is almost out for the year. What are we going to do this summer? I have a little girl who likes to get out and about. She loves to be around other people. So, we must have stuff planned outside the house for summer! I know that I have to book our swim schedule with our most wonderful swim teacher this week. So that has pushed me into looking at the schedules for other summer activities. Must avoid scheduling conflicts! My daughter is 3 1/2, so any activites/camps must be targeted for that age. That limits my options. Also, I'm not big on being in the heat/sun for very long, so summer sports (even if they're scheduled in the morning) don't appeal to me. The kiddo get a heat rash easily, and she's not what you'd call athletic. So, t-ball, soccer, etc. are out. We've been looking at Harmony Road Music School, and I think we're going to try a session there. If we discover she enjoys the class, we enroll in their summer camp. Any other ideas, my Bakersfield online community? Well, I really need a pedicure. But that's not what I'm thinking of now. In fact, if I were creating a list of what a mom needs, what I need now would not be on the list because I wouldn't have though of it. So, here it is. I NEED A VOICE! Yep. I lost my voice. After two days of a fiery throat, I now have lost my voice. The kiddo thinks it's pretty darn funny. And I think she's pretending not to hear me. She's too dang smart. So, I have to work really hard at talking. And I didn't realize how many times a day I holler across the house or room. I can't just yell, "Kiddo, where are you? What are you doing?" to check up on her. And to boot, the hubby is out of town. I have no vocal help. This will be a challenging couple of days. Until now, I never even thought of what life with a preschooler would be like if I didn't have a voice. Tomorrow we're off to the kiddo's school carnival. I really, really hope I can talk by then. Otherwise, I'm thinkin' I'm walking into a safety/discipline nightmare. Sometimes I turn on a morning show as I get ready in the morning. I had just a few minutes to tune in one ear to the Today Show when suddenly an alarm went off in my head as I listened to this . A plastic surgeon has written a children's book called My Beautiful Mommy to help children cope with mom getting a tummy tuck and nose job. Now, I have not read the book, so I shouldn't be quick to judge. But the title seems to imply that mommy becomes beautiful after having plastic surgery. Am I reading too much into the title? Mommy tells her child that her nose will look "different" after surgery. The child's imagination takes off with that explanation - will mom's nose look like a pig's? But Mommy quickly clears up any confusion by explaining, "Not just different, my dear -prettier!" Well, I'm glad she cleared that up. So, Mommy has a Barbie doll figure. Oh, and did I mention that Mommy's breasts look larger and perkier after surgery? (Read this Newsweek article for a little more info.) I understand that surgery is scary for children. Books to help children cope, address feelings and fears, and open up discussion with parents are great. I'm just wondering if My Beautiful Mommy does more harm than good.
Location:
10500 Alfred Harrell Highway,
Bakersfield, CA
A few weeks ago we had some friends visit from northern California. As a special outing for the kids, we planned a trip to the California Living Museum (C.A.L.M.). A lovely day was had by all.
Until the kiddo came along, I really didn’t visit C.A.L.M. all that much. But stay-at-home-mommyhood sort of forced me into discovering fun kid things to do. Fact –social life, outings, and events just change when you have kids. (For some reason or another, my toddler doesn’t want to sit around and have silent reading for an hour. I tried to tell her how much fun we’d have, but she didn’t go for it.) So, we discovered parks, play dates, kiddie gyms, story times at local bookstores, etc. And I rediscovered C.A.L.M.
The first time we went out there as a family was when the kiddo was a little over a year old. We went with a large group of friends for the holiday light display. We’ve also been to C.A.L.M. for the Boo at the Zoo event held at the end of October. Both events are perfect family fun time. But this last month we didn’t attend any special event out there. We just went to hang out with friends.
And what a great time we had. The kids loved the snakes, the bears, the birds – they loved all the animals. The tortoises even put on a special show for us – a little lesson in reproductive education for the kids.
“Mommy, what are they doing?”
“Uh.” (long pause)
“Yeah, Mommy, what are they doing?” asks my mommy friend. She knows I was NOT prepared for this moment.
“Well, what do you think they’re doing, honey?” I thought this was a more than brilliant response on my part.
“The daddy’s giving the mommy a piggy back ride,” says my also brilliant child.
“That’s right, sweetie.” This is all she needs to know at 3 ½. End of conversation – thank goodness!
We moved on, eventually making our way to the picnic and playground area. We were only there for 30/45 minutes, but the kids could’ve played there for at least another hour.
It’s been a few weeks now since we’ve been out there, and I’m ready to go again. I’m not sure I want to visit the tortoise exhibit, but I’m willing to take the risk to have such a great time again.
Christina recently posted a funny story. Thought I'd share a little humorous story that happened about 9 months ago: I picked up the land line phone and dialed the hubby. As I was waiting for him to pick up, my cell phone started ringing. My darling daughter helped herself to my cell and answered it. I coerced her into handing me my cell. So, with a phone at each ear, I'm waiting for one to answer and speaking in the other, "Hello? Hello? Hello? (pause) Hellooo? Hellooo? ( I speak into my cell while thinking, "why isn't this person speaking? do we have a bad connection?) Hellooo? Hellooooooo? Then I have an aha moment: "Oh my word, I dialed the wrong number ( (I dialed my cell number instead of my hubby's) and I'm talking to myself!" At that point I doubled over with laughter. Yep. I called myself (from my land line to my cell). And that, my friends, is what parenthood does to the brain. I often think about what kind of inheritance I will leave for my daughter and our children to come. And I'm not talking about a monetary inheritance. No, I think about the core stuff - spiritual, emotional, intellectual . . . inheritance. I believe we pass along so much to our children - the good, the bad and the ugly. The first post I wrote on this site was about beautiful Bakersfield. I really mean that - I think this city is beautiful. So many people, natives of Bakersfield, visitors and folks who've never been here before, speak negatively of our city. Have you heard the insulting jokes made about Bakersfield? I cringe each time I hear that gunk. Those negative words do no good. In fact, they're harmful. They influence people's thinking and create an atmosphere contrary to this city's destiny (yes, I believe there is a wonderful destiny/plan/purpose for our city). Now, we're also talking about my child's inheritance when we talk about Bakersfield. How is she going to see this city? What will she speak about this city? I want her to know that she has the power to influence and change the atmosphere around her. I want her inheritance in Bakersfield to be rich and full of life, love, peace & joy. I want her to know that she is one who makes this city beautiful. So, how do pass along this attitude/belief/power to my child? Well, I had an idea last night as I was wandering the downtown street faire. I will only speak positively of my community (pretty much have that one down), and for every negative I hear spoken over our city, I will counter it with two positives. You see, I believe my words have power. And just as light continues to travel for a very long time, so does sound. That means my words are out there for a good, long while. In doing so, I model for the kiddo how to shape the world around her while I shape the world she's in. Anyone want to join me?
Months ago the kiddo went through this very short lived phase of wanting her hair cut short. “I want my hair like Sarah’s,” she would say. Well, she wanted a lot of things “like Sarah’s,” but that wasn’t happening. (Deep in me I was a little freaked out that my 3 year old was losing her identity. What’s all this “I want to be like somebody else bit?” But I soon realized that the kiddo wasn’t having an identity crisis; she was just being 3.) For whatever reason, the kiddo just moved on from wanting to chop her hair. And I was glad. I love her hair. It’s the hair I never had and never will. But I had never, ever mentioned anything about “boy hair” and “girl hair.”
Nope. She picked up on those stereotypes all on her own. First, it started with “princess hair.” Princess hair is long hair, at least according to Disney, and that’s what my little girl knows. And you know what? I didn’t fight it. I didn’t fight the whole princess thing. I watched my niece do that with her daughter and it backfired exponentially. And I’m not anti-princess; I only want my daughter to know that there is a world beyond Disney princesses.
She is always telling me, “I want my hair down like a princess,” or “I have long hair like a princess.” Okay. That’s nice.
But the stereotyping went to a whole new level the other night when we were watching American Idol. (Yes, I let her watch it sometimes. She loves to sing, and she loves watching the singers.) For those of you who don’t watch the show, each show ends with a short recap of the night’s performances. Here’s what the kiddo had to say on each performer:
I like him. (on David Archuleta)
I like her. (on Brooke White)
I like her. (on Carly Smithson)
I like herm. (on Jason Castro, a young man who sports beautiful, long dredlocks)
Yep. Herm. That’s a combo of her and him. At first she wasn’t sure whether he was a boy or girl. Then the kiddo insisted he was a girl because he had long hair. And I admit the kiddo’s creative contraction is pretty darn funny. But I am a little concerned about the long hair/girls & short hair/boys stereotyping.
We watched our wedding video the other week – part of our 15th wedding anniversary celebration (hooray for us!). The kiddo did not like seeing Daddy with long hair. Hmm. She said he looked like a girl, and she made it very clear that she never, ever wants Daddy to have long hair.
I’m thinking this will pass soon.
Any thoughts?
I love Bakersfield. Yep. You read that correctly. I didn’t leave out a negative. I love Bakersfield.
I’ve lived here since I was a toddler. I have fond memories of playing in the sprinklers in the scorching August heat; of toad hunting in the ponds of a local cemetery; of kite flying on the Panorama bluffs; of fishing for trout in the Kern River; of ooh-ing and aah-ing each spring at the stunning wild flowers; of tossing coins into the catfish ponds at the Valley Plaza Mall.
In high school friends made plans to leave. They wanted to leave Bakersfield. Where they ended up – I’m not sure they cared. And I was in the same frame of mind. I wanted to leave. Who wants to live in a place labeled the “arm pit of California?”
But I stayed. And I’m happy I stayed. This city is beautiful, and it’s a fantastic place to live.
Our location is great. We are a hop, skip and a jump to the mountains, beach, big city. Day trip, day trip, day trip – gotta love it! Want to go skiing? You can do it in a day. Want to catch a musical in L.A.? You can do it in a day. And you can do it all without shoveling driveways or sitting in traffic day after day.
And speaking of traffic – Bakersfield traffic is truly minimal. I know there are a few slightly congested places on the weekday mornings and evenings, but I can still travel from one end of town to the other in less than 45 minutes. Yeah Bakersfield!
Bakersfield has the feeling of home. When I go to the grocery store, the clerk and I take time to chat. Most of the employees notice when my daughter is not with me. They ask about her because they are genuinely loving and caring people. I’ve been to other cities in and out of state, and the love isn’t always there. There’s no “Hi, how ya doin’?” or “How’s your grandmother doing?” There’s no slowing down for mothers with children in the parking lots. There’s no manager racing to catch us to give the kiddo a lollipop. But here in Bakersfield, oh I tell you, I feel the love!
And have you noticed that although Bakersfield is sprawled out, we still seem close? When I go to the mall, I usually run in to someone I know. I bump in to several of the same people at least once a year, and it’s nice. And sometimes I am blessed to meet up with a childhood friend. Old friends, new friends, red friends, blue friends – they’re all here in our beautiful city.
What I really love and appreciate about Bakersfield is this: our citizens’ GENEROSTIY. Bakersfieldians are generous beyond belief. A family needs funds to bury a loved one – Bakersfield is there for them. The food bank needs food – Bakersfield shows up for the food drive. The American Cancer Society holds a Relay for Life event – Bakersfield sets an example for the nation in fundraising for the battle against cancer. We give. And we give. And we give some more. The list goes on and on.
And you want to know a secret? I’ve met quite a few transplant families, and they arrive having heard all the judgments and negative opinions, but given a little time, they’ve learned to like (or might I even say “love”) Bakersfield. Oh, yes, it’s true.
So, I’ll shout it from the mountain top: I Love Bakersfield! And I’m so glad I’m raising my family here.
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