that the kiddo is growing up:

• she's making/telling "jokes" - maybe they're not ones you'd find in a joke book, but she's starting to get the gist
• she's learning to rhyme - in fact, she tries to rhyme several times a day
• she likes to talk to her friends on the phone

Those three things seem to be mile markers.  Ugh.  Not again.  I'm losing my baby.

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This is not the first blog post of this type.  Seems like we tend to cry and reminisce when seasons of  our children's lives come to an end.  Thus we've had a few end-of-the-school-year posts on Raising Bakersfield.  So, this is mine (with a shameless plug for Bakersfield Parent Nursery added).

We had a great year.  And I say "we" because the kiddo's preschool is a cooperative preschool, meaning parents are required to participate.  Since the kiddo was only three years old, she attended the 2/3 combo class on Tuesday & Thursday mornings.  Her teacher, Miss Sam, was a first year teacher (her son attended the other class), but she was as brilliant and prepared as any well seasoned teacher.  Did I mention we had a fantastic year at BPN?

The last day of school rolled around faster than I anticipated.  In fact, Thursday morning I was frantically getting the camera ready so I could take a last day picture.  I'd realized I didn't have one photo of just the kiddo and her teacher.  I mean, really!  This is her first school teacher EVER!  You'd think with my digital photo addiction I'd have taken care of this months ago.  Ha.  So, when we arrived at school, I coerced the kiddo to pose under the BPN sign, and the tears started to well up.  Tough to take decent pics when the faucet is leaking.  I did my best, and then we entered the gate, found Miss Sam, and captured a photo before the kiddo covered herself in playground mud (I can't tell you how many days she has been caked in dirt/mud when I picked her up.).  After the photo, the kiddo had a very important question she'd been waiting to ask her teacher:

Kiddo:  Miss, Sam, do you like green eggs and ham?

Miss Sam:  I love green eggs and ham.  Do you like green eggs and ham?

Kiddo:  Nooooo.

Miss Sam:  No?  You do not like them?  Will you eat them here or there?

Kiddo: Nooo.

Miss Sam:  No?  Will you eat them anywhere?

Kiddo:  Nooo.

Miss Sam:  No?  Will you eat them with a fox?

Kiddo:  Noo.

Miss Sam:  Will you eat them in a box?

Kiddo:  No!  It's a joke!   (and she walks away laughing)

So, that's my memory of the kiddo's first preschool teacher that I'll treasure forever.  It was so cute.  Oh, and I caught it all on video!

Although I'm sure we'll have a fun summer, we're looking forward to returning to BPN next year.

"We're not going anywhere, honey.  You have hives."

"Mom," the kiddo says laughing, "I don't have hives.  That's where bees live."

I laughed with the kiddo, but my worry still manifested in checking her entire body every fifteen minutes or so.

We went through this to a much greater degree about a year ago.  She broke out in hives all over her body.  They'd appear, and then disappear, and then others would appear in a new area.  We couldn't keep up.  We rushed her to urgent care, learned that these magical spots were hives, and we treated her with Benadryl (one dose every 6 hours for 24 hours). 

Thankfully I caught her outbreak early yesterday.  She had a mass of them on her thigh.  Today she has the scratch marks from tearing at her itchy skin, but no more hives. 

I do wish I knew, though, what her allergy is.

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During my toddler/preschool/early elementary years, I had living great grandparents. I have few memories of them, but the memories I do have are precious.  My great grandmother always had to give me money when I visited.  For some reason, she was compelled to stick her hand in the cookie jar (yeah, that's where she kept her spending money) and get "a little sumpin'" for me.  On one of our last visits together, she had nothing in the cookie jar to give, and my little child heart broke for her as I saw how disappointed she was in having nothing to offer.  My great grandfather was a goof, at least in my eyes.  He consistently attempted to have a conversation in French with me (note: I did have to take French when I was little, but I was not near fluent;  I only knew a few words and phrases).  And know what else  my classy great grandfather expected of me?  He expected me to know how to write with my toes.  Yep.  We practiced and practiced.  I am forever indebted to him for that.

The kiddo is also blessed to know some of her great grandparents.  This last weekend, we headed up north to visit her great grandfather, fondly known as Papa.  The kiddo loves when Papa makes paper airplanes.  But my favorite moment this weekend was when she slowed down and snuggled with her Papa.  I know that snuggle spot well, and I'm so glad she gets to enjoy it, too.  

Please remember to put sunscreen on yourself and your kids when you're going to spend time outside or travel in a car for a good while (yep, sun exposure through the window counts).  The sun is so intense now, and sunscreening up is so important for our health.

During my childhood and teen years, I only used sunscreen and my parents only put sunscreen on me to prevent painful burn.  That was the purpose of sunscreen.  No one said anything about skin cancer.  No one talked skin turning spotted and leathery because of sun exposure.  Store shelves housed more sun tanning oil than sunscreen.  I oiled up like a potato and baked in the sun.  Now I have to go for mole checks, head to toe, every year.  Yeah.  That's right up there with getting a pap.

I want to be around for my kiddo for a long time.  And I don't want her to have to make yearly appointments with a dermatologist because I let her bake while playing outside. 

So I'm sending out a friendly reminder:  sunscreen, sunscreen, sunscreen!

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Sometimes I wish I  could stop time. 

Moments of the kiddo's sweet personality take me pleasantly by surprise.  Moments that she stands out in a crowd.  Moments she does the unexpected. 

A few weeks ago, we were having an average morning.  Got up and ready, took neighbor kids to school, stopped by Starbucks, and then headed to preschool.  As usual, I expect to sign her in, kiss her goodbye and take off.  But as I watched the kiddo on the playground, I noticed she wasn't going over to play in the dirt - her favorite activity.  She also wasn't playing with her school pal.  Now, you must understand, my kid is social, very social.  Everyday, several time a day I hear "Where are we going today?" and "Who's coming over?" and "I want to go to _____'s house."  But this particular day she remained alone.  At first I was concerned because this was out of the ordinary.  But I stood back and observed. To my delight (and the other parents and teachers on the playground), the kiddo found her way on top of a kiddie picnic table and began to sing. And sing.  And sing. And sing.

She made her way around, posing at various playground spots.  She sang in her sweet songbird voice.  She sang Disney princess songs, she made up  many songs about her life, she invented people and events in her songs - it was entertaining to say the least.  And she did this all during playground time before and after class.

I was late to where I was headed that morning.  I could have watched her forever.

when the kiddo was younger and her language skills were minimal, as in baby babble, raspberries, and mama/papa.  Language has opened up a whole new world - one in which she asks questions, expresses worry/concern, and struggles to grasp and verbalize new situations and experiences, some of which aren't so ideal.

 Funny stories have been birthed during this toddler/preschool developmental stage.  For example, some of you may recall our sex education lesson at C.A.L.M.  When we walked up to the tortoise exhibit, they were doin' the deed with an enthusiasm and vigor I'd never seen before.  Language allowed the kiddo to ask, "Mommy, what are they doing?"  Although I might have been stunned, shocked, and unprepared at the moment, the story is now funny to me.  And the kiddo came up with her own answer which pleased me beyond words: "The daddy's giving the mommy a piggyback ride." 

However, some situations aren't so funny.  They're difficult.  They're heart-wrenching.  They're the kind of things I wish my kiddo didn't have to experience.

Since the beginning of the year, my grandmother has been in and out of the hospital.  She's probably had 5 or 6 trips to the hospital over the last 6 years, but this year she seems to be declining.  In January she fell and broke her hip and arm.  She's been in the hospital for pneumonia, infections galore, and I can't remember what else at this point.  And the kiddo has seen much of this.  She was at the hospital when Granny started choking and turned blue.  She was at the hospital when Granny's heart gave us a scare.  She's seen Granny cry out of frustration and depression.  She's heard Granny scream and yell as nurses and aides moved her, poked her, etc.  I feel like the shelter veil has been lifted from the kiddo's eyes.  She's had a crash course in life.

The kiddo asks if she and Granny will be able to go get ice cream and then go shopping for toys.  I am truthful with her - I just don't know if Granny will be able to do that.  I see the disappointment in her eyes.  "But I want her to, Mom," the kiddo says.  She asks if Granny will be going back to her home with her dogs and cat.  "No, honey, that's not Granny's home anymore.  And her dogs and kitty are gone.  They live with other people now."  The kiddo asks, "Why?  'Cause Granny's sick?"

So, we take it day by day.  We pray.  We believe in miracles, healing, heaven.  We contend for Granny.  And meanwhile, my 3 year old daughter uses the gift of language to process all  this as much as a 3 year old can, and my hubby and I try to help her live in this world with hope, faith, compassion, love and peace.

Life was so much simpler when she spoke baby talk.

Even though Friday was our first hot day of  the year, we still managed to have a good time.

We started the day off with story time at Barnes and Noble.  Of course the highlight was seeing our friends (jackieohadananny- she has a profile on RaisingBakersfield.com).  But we also had another pleasant surprise - Barnes and Noble has a new story time reader!  Well, at least he was new to us.  His name is Brian, and we applaud his reading and singing.  I hope Mr. Brian is around for a long time at B&N.

After we left B&N, the hubby called and reminded me that it was Employee Appreciation Day at his work.  So we donned our sunscreen and headed out for the employee family BBQ.  Yeah, that's right - BBQ - in 103 degree weather.  And though we ate in the shade, we were all still dripping sweat.  Thankfully, we love everyone who works with the hubby, we always have a good time, and the food was great!  Also, the kiddo fed the ducks and geese in the pond (yes, there's a pond and a park where my hubby works).  That was a highlight for her.

So, that led to a great nap.  Gotta love naps. 

And that led to a very pleasant evening.  After eating the pretty-darn-good-slow-cooked- pork chop leftovers (cream of mushroom soup, garlic, thyme, beef broth, white wine), we headed to Borders because we needed another bookstore fix.  (Actually, we've been collecting books with cd's because we're going on a little trip this week, and while I might be a talented multi-tasker (I'm a mom, right?!), I still haven't mastered reading while driving.)  We love hanging out at bookstores.  There are always treasures to find.  I think we came home with four new books, only one a book/cd set.

I threw the kid in the bath when we got home, watched her make pies and soup in the tub, and once she was out, we dove into our new books.

That leads me to this - Skippyjon Jones is the funniest cat I've ever met.  Cat in the Hat and Garfield don't hold a candle to little Skippito.  We laugh and laugh at the Siamese cat who fantasizes about being a Zorro type chihuahua.  If you have child between the ages of 3 and 80, this is a  must have book.

Any new bookstore treasures you've found lately?  (other than Kevin's new book, of course)

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Last week we headed over to Campus Park North to meet a friend and her son.  My friend had told me several times that we needed to go to that particular park.  I wasn't as enthusiastic as she;  we usually go to the Riverwalk park, and we really like it.  It was kind of one of those "if it ain't broke, don't fix it" type things.  (Perhaps change for me is truly harder than I admit?) 

Well, here's my verdict:  double thumbs up!    We loved it!  The slides are huge, the rock climbing wall is a unique park feature, and the playground area is large.  Also, it wasn't nearly as crowded as Riverwalk is.  We highly recommend you and your kids try it out.

*There are no restroom facilities at the park.  So, unless you're friends with someone across the street, plan ahead!

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My Mother's Day

-Woke up with same ear ache and hearing loss I'd had a for a few days, so I put more drops in my ear. 

-We went to church.  Each mom was given a flower.  The kiddo took mine.  At the end of church the kiddo gave me a small gift full of candy.  A few minutes later I open the box to eat a piece, and my candy is gone!  (Swiper, no swiping!)  I ask the kiddo where my candy is, and she smiles and rubs her tummy.  (I might have rolled my eyes at this point.)

-Rush home to get ready to head out again.  Before leaving, hubby irrigates my ear.  As he exclaims, "Wow, that's an alien!" I can hear again.  Gotta love Debrox.  So glad  a trip to Urgent Care is no longer on my to do list for the week.

-Visit Mercy SW where my grandmother is hospitalized.  We find out she also has MRSA on top of her other infection.   This is the woman who always sang "I Love You A Bushel and A Peck" to me when I was little.  I do love her.

-Next we head to Delano where my MIL lives.  Oh boy, did we have a good time.  We went through old photos - always fun!  We ate some good food - my niece ordered pancit and banana lumpias from Relene's, and she shared her treasure with all of us.  Yummy!  Also, we put my MIL on the seat of honor where we all could see her, and we watched as she opened a small truck load of gifts.  One fabulous gift she received was a framed LP and cover of Al Garcia and the Rhythm Kings - the band her late husband played in.  Again, that was a wonderful gift.

So, that was our day in a nutshell. 

Happy Day After Mother's Day to all of you.

try Flicks again?  I saw them at Bed, Bath and Beyond today.  I was very tempted to buy a tube.

You see, I loved Flicks when I was a kid.  They disappeared off the face of the earth mid or late 80's.  In the early 70's, when I'd go to the Fox to see a movie (yep, it was a fully, fabulous, functioning movie theater), Flicks was my candy of choice.  The foil wrapper called my name.  And the chocolate wafers came in a tube, not a box!  That was really "cool."

Now I'm not sure if I should try them again.  Is my memory of them better than the little candies actually are?  Will I burst my own bubble if I pop open a tube and try one?  I do have such *sweet* memories of Flicks.  Do  I want to risk ruining that memory?

Yes, I will buy a tube.  Why?  Well, when you have kids, and you have such a fond memory of something, you must try and share that memory with your children.  I know in my mind that the kiddo will not "get" how special Flicks are.  But my heart tells me I must try to make her understand.  I don't want her to miss out on a potentially life changing experience.  (yeah, they were that good when I was . . . uh, a kid)

Gotta love those simple childhood treasures!

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So, I've thought about what I'd like for Mother's Day.  I know all this won't happen.  It's just my my brainstorm list.

-a house keeper

-manicure & pedicure sans preschooler in tow

-see a movie with girlfriends - chick flick, of course!

-a night out with the hubby

-a full body massage

-a few days in Pacific Grove (good, fun family time)

-a weekend away with my mom

But you know what I'd really, really, really like?  For HGTV to come in, paint, repair, remodel, clean and organize my house.    That would be a treat! 

We are doing something very special this Sunday.  We are heading to Delano where my MIL lives.  She has a new house.  The old, run down 900 sq. foot house was demolished last year, and a new one was built.  So this Sunday we are all meeting at her new house.  We haven't been able to gather at her place in years.  I'm so excited to have all of us (about 40 of us) get together and celebrate with my wonderful, beautiful mother-in-law. 

There are temper tantrums and then there are full-blown, to-the-extreme, the-neighbors-must-think-I'm-abusing-my-child tantrums.  You know what I'm talking about.  And yeah, we had one of those days yesterday.

I always feel like I'm such an awful mother when that happens.  Why?  I'm not.  I know I'm not.  Maybe it just seems like there is some trick I should know, some discipline method more effective, something else I should do in those moments.

How did the tantrum start?  She accidentally wet the bed.  No biggie to me.  But she didn't like waking up wet.  Yet here's the real kicker - she didn't want to change her clothes or have me wash the sheets either.  Go figure.  I was stuck between a rock and a hard place.

And the kiddo worked herself into such a huge fit, I eventually had to switch gears and focus on calming her down.  Forget the initial issue whatever that was. 

At one point, she started using me as a punching bag.  I literally stood there for a time while she hit - I had to just stop, take a breath and use my head to figure out what to do. 

So, I left her in her room, pee pee and all, and I told her I'd help her when she was nice to be around.  That took quiet a while, but eventually she got there.  (And we also didn't get to go with Daddy to a friend's house b/c the kiddo had wasted so much time - she certainly didn't like that either - but I hope that's a good lesson.)

Eventually I convinced her to take a bath and that changed her mood for the rest of the evening.  I, on the other hand, had a hard time not thinking about what happened.  I wasn't angry.  I just had this tape playing in my head like a football film - what could I do differently?  how could I help her?  did she learn a lesson?  did I scar her for life in any way, shape or form? 

I know I'm not the only parent who has the world's worst tantrum thrower :)  How do you other parents handle the tantrums?

So, I'm wondering what treat I should have for Mother's Day.  I was thinking about a day at the spa.  I thought about a day trip.  I thought about seeing what musicals, shows, concerts are happening.  I'm still deciding.

How about you?  What are your plans to celebrate Mother's Day?

(and fathers, if you haven't started thinking about Mother's Day, now is the time - hint, hint!)

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Mother's Day means more than I can express.  Let me explain why.  And let me say, my story in no way diminishes the motherhood of others.  My story is just mine.

In 2000, after being married for 7 years, my hubby and I decided it was time to have children.  We had talked about having children through both adoption and birth.  And like many families who want form their family through both methods (boy, that sounds like the wrong word, but you get the gist), we thought we'd go the birth route first. 

Within a month, we were pregnant.  And within a month and a half a positive pregnancy test, we were not. It was a roller coaster of a ride (too many details and phone calls to recount here) that ended in  my being rushed into surgery to save my life.  We were both so scared, and after surgery, so heart-broken.

Time went by, and we didn't get pregnant.

So, we looked at each other and said,  "What are we waiting for?  Let's adopt.  This is what we've wanted to do."  So we started the long, long process.  We gathered a truck load of paperwork and submitted it to the U.S. and China.  We allowed strangers to come in and scrutinize us and our home.  We wrote a book on ourselves, covering details of our lives we would only share with intimate friends, and submitted it to a homestudy agency.  We took the required classes.  We read the required material.  And we waited.  My heart ached for my little girl.

On May 23, 2005 we got "the call."  Our family coordinator from our adoption agency called us and said we had a little girl (well, not so little for those of you who know her - she was what you might call round).  She was the most beautiful sight.  I looked at her, and I knew in the innermost part of me that she was my daughter- birthed in China, born in my heart.  I had ached and longed for her.  I had trusted God that He was taking care of her when I could not.  I was trusting God would bring us together.  And He did.

Now she's 3 1/2 years old.  She's wondrous.  She's delightful.  She's lovely.  She's my daughter.  And I'm her mother.  Happy Mother's Day to me.