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my first wedding anniversary is may 18th....  in this past year, since i have been married, i have seen my husband once, for 11 days. Now  he is deployed and i won't be seeing him again until march of next year.  it's incredibly hard. i often feel very depressed and i cry a lot.  i try not to for fear it might counteract all the hapiness my son feels. its impossible, it seems like every song reminds me of him, every commerical is about the army. its ridiculous. now don't get me wrong, i am probably one of the strongest women you will ever meet.  I have dealt with some STUFF in my life, but this takes the cake.  my husband is the most awesome man i have ever met, he takes care of me and our son. he has given me the opportunity to stay home with aidan and i have a nice, comfortable place for us to  live and  a nice truck.  Aidan wants for nothing, he has more crap than most 5 year olds.  this makes me miss my husband even more.  now i am terrified i might never see him again, last time he was in iraq he nearly lost his life, he almost didn't come back to me last time. it scares the hell out of me.  but i keep truckin.  if i didn't have my lil boy to give me lovin i don't know what i would do.  nothin makes me feel better then when he sees im upset and races over to me and leaps into my lap and plants a big slobbery kiss on me.  it makes me forget, for a lil while anyway, how much i miss my husband.