It is my second favorite time of the day: nap time. (My first favorite is when my wife comes home). Ethan knocks out like clockwork at 1:30 every day. He usually sleeps until 3:30-4:30 pm before he is up and running again. This little break gives me time to blog, study (graduate courses), clean, and otherwise catch my breath. The odd thing though is that some days the quiet isn't really all that great. Some days I really miss my son running around creating chaos and birthing havoc. Today is one of those days. I can't wait for him to wake-up again so we can hang-out together.

   As any parent knows that isn't an everyday thing. A few days I wish my son would take a super nap and wake-up around 8:00am the next morning. Those days are filled with screeching, crying, wailing, exhaustion, tantrums, throwing food, and other similar behaviors. Of course, those are all just from me. Ethan is worse. Thank God that those does are becoming rarer than they were a few months ago. Being stay-at-home can really wear one down.

   My wife and I have been talking a lot about our situation. I graduate in the Fall as I'll be finishing my final 3 unit senior sem course. During the Fall I'm going to start a serious job search. This search will hopefully take us out of Bakersfield. I really would like to find a job leading a team or doing creative work. After locating a position my wife will resign her job and will switch over to being stay-at-home herself.

   We thought the stay-at-home father thing made sense as she was making almost twice what I was at the time. What we've come to learn is that it just isn't natural for these roles to be reversed in this way. She is finding it hard to experience fulfillment from her job, and I am likewise finding it hard to have complete fulfillment from being stay-at-home. I need to be the provider, the protector, the hunter/gatherer. I hate to say it, but from this experience "old fashioned" seems to be a better choice.