Education is a linchpin in my household. Both my wife and I place great value in betterment through education. My wife has her Master’s Degree, and I am within three courses of obtaining mine. We have very firm expectations that our son will attend school after college, but we will encourage him to attend any kind of schooling he desires (college, trade school, etc.). Growing-up it was always instilled that education was the key to our future. Of course, I wasn’t always the best or most motivated student.

Thinking about this makes me realize how much life has changed since high school. I remember back then spending a lot of time trying to do as little as possible. During my sophomore year I had truancy issues and a GPA to prove it. In my junior and senior years I became slightly more responsible, meaning I showed-up to school more, and I also spent more energy investment in obtaining good grades. An interesting phenomenon occurred toward graduation time in which I was given the award for top student from the English Department. This clearly came as a surprise to me as I didn't even know what an outline was until half way through my junior year. I suppose I just had a flare for things literary.

College wasn't something I had thought a lot about. At least, I hadn't really considered it for immediately after high school. At that time I sort of cast college into the vague "intermediate future" of 3-5 years hence. Approximately one week before the fall quarter started at CSUB I decided I’d give college a try. I was lucky enough to have a phone number for a brilliant department chair who whole heartedly assisted me in getting in. Then something magical happened. Where high school was social and transient, college was focused and tangible. I became diligent in labor despite being very poor and constantly on the verge of homelessness. I managed to graduate in just over three years and with a very decent GPA.

My wife was similar to me in her free spiritedness, but she developed focus quicker than I. In high school she began taking college courses, graduated early, and began her blitz through education. In just a few years she went from high school student to Master’s wielding woman. To highlight her iron will at one point she was working three jobs, attending graduate school, and was pregnant. I was there to encourage her when she became discouraged, and to study by her side through the thickest of quarters, but it was her will and determination that earned her diploma. Her tenacity in school impressed me beyond words and she earned more respect than I have ever given to anyone else.

As I near completion of my graduate degree I cannot help but think of the impact this accomplishment will have on my son. He will grow-up in a household with two educated parents. He will have parents that value hard work, commitment, determination, willpower, and pursuit of passionate activities. We will also have an understanding that his future belongs to him and he does not have to value the things that we do. We were maverick high school youths who became fanatic college students, but our hearts still beat with youthful rebellion. We will try to appreciate his epicurean whims as well as his stoic endeavors. In the end, the best thing that education can do for this family is provide a better platform from which to springboard into the future.

Father’s Day came and went, but with it my thoughts have been turning to the role of being a Father. I didn’t have a close relationship with my father and he passed away while I was in high school. The role expectations I have for fathers must therefore come from media and literature. This can be a bit of a frightening concept as when you actually think about father role models there is a lot left to be desired. Still, I came-up with what I think is a useful list of a few notable fathers and what I can gain from examining them.

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Today is the day after Father's Day. To me this day is sort of like the day after Christmas. The main difference is that instead of tangible gifts I have wonder memories to enjoy. Yesterday was a great day for me. I am a stay-at-home dad so the script is a little flipped. I make breakfast, lunch and dinner, I mop, I scrub toilets and bathtubs, and about the four million other tasks it takes to keep our home in working order. But, not yesterday. My wife really came through and took care of everything for the day. She baked a scrumptious cake for breakfast, read me a love letter she had written me, we went to the Thunder Run motorcycle event at the Fair Grounds, enjoyed Sonic for lunch, she cooked my favorit dish for diner (usually my speciality but after nearly a decade together she has mastered it as well), then she treated me to a special evening of a spa (complete with bath and massage). I have to say to me there is nothing on this Earth better than my beautiful wife showing her love by giving of her own time and energy to craft a day such as that. Other men might like to go golfing, watch sports, hang-out in the garage with their tools. Me, on a day like yesterday, I couldn't image a better way to spend my time than with my son and my wife. Now it is the day after Father's Day, and today I'm not wearing a new tie, new shirt, new slacks, or a new watch; today I'm wearing a huge smile and a warmed heart that I'll proudly wear-out until next Father's Day.

Keeping up with the Joneses seems like a Bakersfield way of life. Most folks have their home, their cars, their recreational vehicles, campers, big TVs, and all sorts of stuff. I'm not sure where our affinity for more items is supposed to end. I was watching the morning news yesterday and they were talking about how we are supposed to exercise for 30 minutes a day, sleep 8 hours a night, eat a certain amount of fruit and vegetables a day, read more, watch less TV, and such. The way I figure it is that all of the stress from trying to do those things would counteract the benefits from doing it. The way these two thoughts tie together is that I think a lot of our stress in life (apart from that generated by simply being a parent) comes from envy. I wish I had a better education/job/house/car/more time/more vacation/enjoyed whatever more/played sports/had a million dollars/etc/etc/etc. For me, the main goal that I am shooting for is contentment. Let me learn to enjoy what I have or I'll never enjoy what I I'll get. I don't sleep 8 hours a night, I don't exercise 30 minutes every day, I'm not sure that I eat enough fruit or vegetables, read when I can, and I watch enough TV I suppose... and I'm ok with that.

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   Life as a parent is a little different than I expected. People seem to have a wealth of advice. Some tell you how wonderful being a parent is. The blather on about how much more quality has been added, how they love being a parent, and how they would never go back if given the chance. Others will share the misery of their experiences. They'll give warnings and cautionary tales about the downfall of their existence and landing in the abysmal pit of parenthood. I have found a road somewhere between the two. As a stay-at-home father I can definitely affirm that some days are spent envying the fate of Sisyphus seeming somehow less repetitive, while others have elation filled moments followed by the realization of Icarus and ensuing plummet. I'd also have to affirm that on other days life is a feast of Bacchus, being a grand party and more enjoyable than I thought possible. Most of the time however the days meet some cordial balance Good nodding to Bad while passing on a busy street, exchanging glances only for the scantest of moments. Despite all of the advice I received I'd still have to say I never expected it to be like this, yet I wouldn't really want it to be different.