Being you are a resident here on Raising Bakersfield, you probably have or are going to have a kid shortly. For many it may be your first, for many you may already have experience.

For those that have experience, you may already settle along the lines of what I'm about to blog about: whether or not to allow your kids to endure sports or activites that are dangerous and over the boundaries of acceptable. Sports of these examples: motocross, go-karting, snowboarding, skiing, etc. you get the point of that. Basically the sports that aren't necessarily offered in school.

Now being the parent of your kids, of course you have the authority; but should they always be authoritized in subjects of trying different, dangerous sports. There are some parents that allow their kids to do these and support them through it; then there are also the ones that allow them to do it, but have no or very little support for them; and then there are the parents that just plain say no, stick to golf or something. :)

As for me, sadly I'm not much of a team player when it comes to sports. Why? Because I hate the feeling of letting someone down because of my mistakes, or having to rely on someone else. I don't totally avoid the fact of being on teams, but I do my best to stay clear of them as much as possible. Because of this, the activites/hobbies/sports I do today include: Golf, Motocross, Snowboarding/Skiing, and HipHop. Yes, there is that one, hiphop. Believe it or not, dancing is a team sport, unless done solo, but this is beside the point I'm trying to clear.

Now for me, none of these sports were necessarily my idea, but introduced to me by my parents (mostly my father, which is usual,) though I believe, if I chose to do something like this, there would be no negative reaction toward it; this including costs. My father was very true in being supportive and allowing me to do the activities I enjoyed (that were legal) to keep me steered away from those activities that no parent wants there kids to get involved.

Now these activities I am talking about are: drugs, drinking, gangs, violence, skipping school, and things along those lines. As we all know, this is heavy within our society today, and keeping the younger generation, your kids, out of these types of things is the struggle and goal in todays parenting. Within a teenagers prospective, I hope I can show you ways to do this, and what went through my mind when I came upon offerings of these things, or opportunities.

Like I stated before, my father was a very supportive person, not just to me but every single one of my friends. He was sometimes the first for one of my friends to go talk to. This is something that is very important for parents I believe, don't waive you child's friends off, but treat them as like you would your child. Make them feel comfortable, and be that parent that they don't mind come over or seeing. My father can now 'hang out' with my friends and I like one, because he has given them such a sense of secure and respective feeling.

Along with this, be active in your child's life. If they do dance, don't miss a recital, if they do football don't miss a game. As for me, my friends and I did motocross, and my father missed one race ever (that he was actually on his way out to;) but this is compared to the many races that I had done. 1 of over 100 races? Not bad. Sadly, it would be the first race that I ever won, and after all his hard work and dedication along with mine, he would miss that moment.

Having someone like him there with all his support and determination to have behind me was only a booster. After awhile, when I would make important, or even fairly important decisions, I would think about how it would effect my parents. Would they be ashamed or happy? Would they lost respect for me or gain more interest in me? This was true even through the many times I was offered an illegal substance or joining in on a 'wrong' action. Knowing after all he did for myself through motocross, the time, the dedication, and even the money (not even as important) that he did for myself, I could do one thing for him even if he didn't know about, and that was make the right decision.

Having these types of impacts on your child's life, on your child's friends life can definitely inspire and help the way they grow; and not only that, but they way his friends grow. It'll help with who they choose as friends, or what type of boyfriend/girlfriend they bring home. Activities like this can help with school, using it as a threat of being taken away if something isn't improved. In my case, 8th grade year my parents said I could only get a new motorcycle if I got straight A's. Believe it or not, I ended up graduating 8th grade with a 3.96 GPA; why not a 4.0, well one A just happened to have a minus or - behind it, which neglected me from the 4.0. First time in my life I ever got straight A's all because of this activity I loved to do, and the passion and support I received from my parents behind it.

Even though many of these activities cost some dollars, and can be time consuming, what's more resourceful? Having your kid ask to buy him new snowboarding boots, or having him ask for $20 bucks that some drug dealer will receive? Spending that time of yours watching him grow and mature through a sport with smiles, or hardly ever seeing them at all? Having a lifetime of strong, bonding relationships and great memories to always fall back on, or watching your kid walk out of your life once he turns 18?

Of course, this is all through my opinion and my experience, but if it wasn't for my parents presenting me the activities and life I live, not being someone my friends and I can lean on, or even not guiding me towards what my faith is today, I probably wouldn't be writing this today. I guess I somewhat exceeded and dragged across the lines of what I initially was trying to cover, but then again all of this is crucial and should be considered. Don't be too strict, that creates rebellion; allow them into the sports they want to try, dangerous or not. Trust me, my parents have visited the emergency room a couple times, but they didn't punish me because I got hurt, after all you can get hurt walking down the street or getting in your car. Try your best to accept and get to know their friends. And lastly, help them find what they believe in, what their faith is. Of course this is what they believe, but you are definitely the inspirer.

Hopefully this makes sense, and I didn't go on too long. There's a lot, and if I didn't come off quite clear let me know. I hope this does some justice for you!