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Singing the Preschool Blues
I have never been a big advocate of pre-school for pre-school's sake. Don't get me wrong, I know there are some educational benefits and that some people don't have a choice whether or not to leave their kids while they work to support them. It's just that as a stay at home mom the last 8 years, I have never been in a big hurry to kick my kids out of the nest. I mean, I home-schooled my oldest daughter up until this year—and reluctantly put her in public school and the ripe old age of 7. So maybe you can understand why I am having a little trouble wrapping my brain around the fact that I have enrolled my 3 ½ year old in preschool. Granted, she is very excited about going—especially since her older sister gets to go to school every day and for the past 6 months she has been stuck at home with me all day. And sure, it's only two days a week for four hours a day. It's not like she's going off to college, for heaven's sake. But in my heart and mind, she might as well be. To think of her out there in the world without me, is well, daunting. But I am starting some classes toward my Master's in a few weeks and was looking for options for her. Although my Mom could keep her the three days a week I'll be in class, this seemed like a better fit for everyone. My daughter gets some peer time and my Mom doesn't have to commit to more than one day a week. Problem is, logic doesn't apply in matters of the heart. I know she'll be fine. She'll probably be better than fine. If she's anything like her older sister she'll be pushing me out the classroom door before I'm ready to leave. But that's what we want for our children, right? Confidence, independence, the ability to be well-adjusted. Sure, I guess. So maybe it's guilt or maybe it's just that I need to get over my identity crisis and realize my kids are okay without me for awhile. And besides, I can at least take credit for the fact that they're well adjusted, can't I? 4 comments from 3 users
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posted by
HeatherIjames
on Apr 12, 2008 at 12:06 AM
I hear you! I almost felt like I was failing my son when I sent him off to pre-school. I opted to be a stay-at-home mom so why was I shipping him off? But, since I wasn't too keen on playing Lego's for eight hours during the day, I just knew he was ready for some friends. Good luck on your Masters! posted by
Jason
on Apr 15, 2008 at 03:47 PM
When I went back to work after being a SAHD for my daughter's first two years, my wife and I were both so worried about how she'd adjust to the in-home daycare we found. But after a couple months of adjustment, she was fine. And then this January, we moved her to preschool full time. And she looooves it. It's so true that these kind of transitions are often harder on us than on them, huh? Anyway, good luck on the master's--would love to hear what your studying/focusing on! posted by
TwinZebra
on May 9, 2008 at 05:46 AM
I'm a single mom who works full-time so I had no choice. And because I couldn't afford to take time off work unpaid, I didn't even get a proper maternity leave. My kids are adopted so my employer did not offer paid medical leave, there being no physical recovery. Corporate America could care less about bonding time. So I took off what I could afford, a month for my daughter, just two weeks for my son (no vacation that year). My kids are fine with day care/preschool because, sadly, it's all they've ever known. I would love to be able to stay home with them, but unless I hit the lottery, ain't gonna happen. In retrospect, though, I think academically and socially they have benefitted greatly from it. I can't say I would have done anything differently if I were independently wealthy and didn't have to work. Maybe it would have been only two or three days a week instead of every day. But it really was the best thing for them, especially my daughter, who was an only child for the first three years of her life and had no one to play with at home.
posted by
Jason
on May 9, 2008 at 02:12 PM
TwinZebra, you weren't in California then, right? Luckily, our state version of the federal FMLA law, the California Family Rights Act, does provide for partial pay in most leave situations, and specifically includes adoption and foster care placement alongside the birth of a child as reasons for leave (and includes the non-birthing partner of the parent who gave birth as well). I definitely recommend that expectant parents, both moms and dads, check out how FMLA and CFRA applies to them and their jobs and employers--you don't have to take it all at once, either.
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