Things are getting ugly again in my pseudo-relationship with my girls' dad. The good news is I think he is finally going to file for divorce. The filing doesn't bother me so much, especially  after a year of being in emotional and financial limbo. It's all the mudslinging that has come about as a result. I am really trying to keep mine to a minimum, but these are the days I'd like to relocate and change my name.

Unfortunately I can't do that. Not only because I can't afford an alternate existance, but because the girls have a relationship with their dad, and that's not a bad thing. Sure, it's a drag to have to deal with him at times, but utlimately it's for the best that he be in their lives. Still, I will be glad when this little chapter of my life is closed and I can move on to the next one. After almost 14 years of marriage, most of which were problematic, the closure, at least, will be nice. But I don't look forward to the pain it will cause my girls. Even though their dad and I have been apart over a year, the permanancy of this will be hard on them, especially my oldest. But like I always tell myself, that which does not kill us, makes us stronger.