daddy in a strange land - Jason's Blog - Raising Bakersfield

Contest winners, fun stuff to do, and a welcome...

Congratulations to RaisingBakersfield.com members bobbysaka, BossLady, Jeagle222, and deannimal67, who have each won a family 4-pack of tickets to Sunday afternoon's performance of Disney On Ice at the Rabobank Arena!

Thank you to all who entered the contest, which brought us so many new members and hundreds of new photos in our Scrapbooks. Look for some of these great photos to grace the cover of our monthly print newsletter, available mid-month at locations across town, in the coming months.

To those of you who are new to RaisingBakersfield.com, welcome again! There are so many ways for you to participate and interact with other local parents here, so please, explore - and let me know if you have any questions! If you have a public profile (and remember, even with a public profile, you can control what does and does not appear online - control your information via your "edit my settings" page), you can start a journal, put images, information and links on your profile page, and "friend" other users. (You do not have to have a public profile to comment on journals or forums or submit photos.)

Our homepage is a great entry point to our website, with feeds of the latest journal entries, comments, scrapbooks, and contests, as well as featured content highlighted in our slideshow tabs at the top of the page. As you explore the site, don't forget to vist our Calendar often for updated family-friendly event listings, our Parent Perks section for discounts and deals offered by local businesses just for you, and our free parent-to-parent classified ads, perfect for unloading unneeded stuff as our families grow.

Speaking of family-friendly events, be sure to say hello if you see me at the Mr.Oscat concert tomorrow, Friday, Oct. 3, at 6:15 at Dagny's Coffee Company downtown. Mr.Oscat is Bakersfield's own homegrown kindie-rock band (and he blogs here about hip kids' music), and their shows are always a rollicking, kazoo-rific good time for kids and their grownups alike. (This show is being presented by our friends at momEconnect.com.) This First Friday in the Downtown Arts District is sure to be a kid-friendly good time - stop by the eagerly anticipated new children's boutique, Ellie Jaye's, near 19th and Eye and just down the street from Dagny's, to see if they're open yet!

Come say hi on Sunday too, at the Health and Fitness Family Fun Day being put on at Liberty Park by our sister publications the Voices.

Thanks for all the well wishes that came my way after my last post, and again, to all the new members, welcome - and to all our longtime users, thanks so much for making this a warm, inviting, lively community of local parents.

Raising More Bakersfield

It seems like a lot of RaisingBakersfield.com parents have been announcing impending additions to their families lately. First, let me say, to you all, congratulations! And second, well, who am I to spoil a trend? Heh.

My wife [referred to on this blog as "la dra."] is 20 weeks pregnant--we're at the half-way mark! We're due at the beginning of February.

The Pumpkin [my nom de blog for our now almost-4-year-old daughter since I started dadblogging when she was one] has been pulling for a girl since before we got pregnant. Once we knew we were, we tried to get across the idea that we didn't really have much say in the matter, but she wasn't having it. "I want a little sister!" Finally, she started coming around, referring to her future sibling as "her or him."

But this week, we had our 20-week ultrasound. You know, the one that's really to check on the development of things like limbs and stuff, but which everyone thinks is just to peek for evidence or absence of penile and testicular protrusions. Of course, this isn't an exact science, and we've all heard stories of people convinced, by an ultrasound reading, that they were gonna have one thing and ended up getting a big surprise. The Pumpkin herself was quite the uncooperative portrait-sitter in utero, giving us her back until seven months. And even then, we tried to keep the possibility of a misreading in the back of our minds, just in case.

Well, this time, both my wife and her OB agree that there's a 95% chance that The Pumpkin's wish will be fulfilled. [It's great being married to a doctor--for me, ultrasounds are like those Magic Eye posters from the early '90s, I could never ever see anything in those.] Barring any unforseen tuckage, we're having another girl.

It's funny, though, as this pregnancy has been totally different for la dra. than when she was pregnant with The Pumpkin. Real bad "morning" sickness then, not so much now; craving fruits and vegetables then, devouring meat now--that sort of thing. And so, conventional wisdom says that when the second pregnancy is so different from the first, you're probably having a baby of whatever sex the first one isn't. So we tried to come up with boy names, but just like last time, we couldn't come up with something we could agree on.

But, just like last time, we quickly devised and agreed upon an out-of-the-blue girl's first and middle name. Now, it looks like we'll get to use it.

If, that is, we can get around The Pumpkin. I mentioned her insistence on having a sister vs. a brother, right? Well, she also came up with a name for said sister. Tuzana. Rhymes with "banana." I have no idea where she came up with that one. I don't even think there are any Susannahs at her preschool. But anyway, she's been calling "baby" that for a while now, and now that we "know" it's a girl... I tried to introduce the idea of the name we've chosen, and she said that she already had a name, Tuzana. I tried to explain about nicknames or even personal family pet names, how this could be her special name for her. She wasn't buying it. "She has one name!" Oy. It's not like we could've included her by letting her choose between two names we liked or one name we liked and one name we knew she wouldn't choose--she'd already named her. [At least, one friend reminded me, she'd moved on from her earlier choice in sibling names--Lion.] I'm hoping that, just like she was able to get used to the idea of potentially having a brother, she'll get used to the idea that her sister's official name is not going to be Tuzana. She's got a few months. Heh.

But in her honor, baby's nom de blog will be, from now on, 2zana. I'm so happy that so many of my fellow RaisingBakersfield.com parents are also getting ready to add to their families, and I can't wait to hear about it and chat with you all.

Early Morning Site Issues

FYI, as many of you no doubt know from first-hand experience, RaisingBakersfield.com and its associated sites were inaccessible from some time in the early morning until the issue was resolved at about 8:35 a.m. We apologize for the inconvenience, and invite you to alert us to any other site issues you may encounter today either in the comments or directly.

Thanks for making the Preschool and Activity Fair a success!

Our Preschool and Activity Fair at Riverview Park was a wonderful morning--we had a great turnout of both service providers and parents and children. Thank you all for making this event a rousing success, and definitely a template for future events. If you discovered RaisingBakersfield.com through this morning's event, welcome, and we hope you return often!

We invite all who attended, both service providers and parents, to leave comments on this blogpost to let us know what you thought--things that went well, things that can be improved upon next time, general impressions. Thanks in advance for your feedback!

Preschool and Activity Fair Tomorrow!

RaisingBakersfield.com's Preschool and Activity Fair is tomorrow! Check out the video to the left of us talking about it on KBFX's Better Bakersfield program on Wednesday, and here's the article that ran in yesterday's weekend Go&Do/Calendar section in The Bakersfield Californian's Eye Street. See you there!

Come to RaisingBakersfield.com's Preschool and Activity Fair on Sat., July 26, from 10 a.m. to 1 p.m., in the gym at Riverview Park (401 Willow Dr., 93308) to meet folks from a variety of area preschools, daycares and activity providers. Refreshments will be provided - and it's free!

Check out RaisingBakersfield.com's interactive childcare and preschool map to see what's near you. Is your preschool or daycare not on the map? Add it!

Join RaisingBakersfield.com and talk to other parents, start a journal, share photos, find discounts and deals, and find family-friendly events and activities.

Questions? Contact info@raisingbakersfield.com.

Come to RaisingBakersfield.com's Preschool and Activity Fair This Saturday!

Check out RaisingBakersfield.com's interactive childcare and preschool map to see what's near you. Is your preschool or daycare not on the map? Add it!

Join RaisingBakersfield.com and talk to other parents, start a journal, share photos, find discounts and deals, and find family-friendly events and activities.

Questions? Contact info@raisingbakersfield.com.

My baby's first rock concert

On June 11, I played hooky from work, and made my 3-year-old daughter skip school. Why? For a rite of passage, you might say.

I took my daughter to her first rock concert.

I first discovered the Barenaked Ladies, the quirky Canadian band known for its sense of humor and fun, when I was a freshman in college and my friend's Canadian roommate put their first album on. After laughing through the lyrics to "If I Had a Million Dollars," I asked, "What the &*%^# is this?!" But I was hooked.

As a parent always on the lookout for both kiddie music that doesn't suck [sorry, but I'm not playing anything by giant purple dinosaurs or Australians in dayglo unitards] and adult music that won't sound inappropriate when parroted by my keen-eared daughter [when she started repeating lyrics, I had to shelve her best friend's mom's hiphop/R&B mix CDs, lest she start singing about "bringing sexy back" and "my humps"], I've counted myself lucky to be a parent during a nascent movement of adult artists crossing over to do kiddie music, both as side projects, like They Might Be Giants and Lisa Loeb, and permanently, like "kindie rock" king Dan Zanes and Bakersfield's own Mr.Oscat [who blogs about modern kids' music here on RaisingBakersfield.com].

And now, BNL have put their quirky sense of humor and ease with multiple musical genres to amazing use on their first children's album, Snacktime. I stuck it in my car stereo when it first came out in early May, and, due to popular demand from the backseat, it's barely come out since. So, when I found out that the band's free tour of bookstores across the nation in support of the album included a stop in LA, I had to take my babygirl.

We had a great time, and The Pumpkin was amazing, even with all the waiting and crowds and the volume. She was right up in front with other kids in little chairs, singing along (she knows all the words to the songs on Snacktime). She was a little confused when they played a few of their adult classics (including "If I Had a Million Dollars," for which they called up from the audience their friend Al Yankovic--yes, that Al Yankovic--to play accordion), but fine. The way I know she really wanted to be there--even though she sat in that little chair for an hour-and-a-half waiting for the show to start, "reading" her picture book of the lyrics and singing along to the CD on the speakers, she didn't want to leave to go to the potty in case she missed the start.

There were a lot of people at that show, with and without kids. The line for getting your CDs and books autographed wrapped around 2 floors of the bookstore. But we got The Pumpkin's CD and book signed (though she was too shy to tell them she loved them and knew all the words), and she still talks about how we saw the band sing in person.

By the way, maybe it's how she hears it, or it just makes more sense in her 3-year-old head, but she can't said "Barenaked Ladies." Always, every day, from the backseat, it's, "I want the Bear Kid Ladies, please." Heh.

I've uploaded videos of the whole set, song by song, so please enjoy the Bear Kid Ladies, as my daughter would want you, and your children, to.

Oh, and if you want to get your hands on a copy of the CD yourself, I just so happened to have them autograph another copy for our very own RaisingBakersfield.com contest:

Email your name, phone number and zip code to contests@raisingbakersfield.com, with the keyword "Snacktime" in the subject line, by July 31, for your chance to win.

Ten Years

la dra. and I have been best friends for 16 years, lovers for 15 years, and, as of this past Friday, husband and wife for 10 years.

When we met on that fateful first day of college, both of us 3000 miles from home and family, we were just kids, with no clue of what the future had in store for us. We have grown up together, become who we are with each other, become who we are because of each other.

We knew, not long after we admitted to each other and ourselves that we were, as they say in college, “more than just friends,” that we were going to be together for good, that this wasn’t some kind of trial run. But ten years ago, we made that promise in public, in front of our family and friends, on a beautiful summer day in Orange County.

Last Friday, away from home with our precious babygirl for a relaxing long weekend in San Diego, we celebrated that day, and that promise, surrounded by good friends and their children. Good food, good company, a simple celebration of a simple, unending truth—that I love you, and that I’m not going anywhere.

I cannot imagine my life without you, without our amazing daughter, who looks more like you every day, without the love and purpose you have brought into my life. I know that I haven’t always made this journey, this partnership easy, and for that, I’m sorry. But those many years ago, long before we were officially engaged, when I asked you to stay with me forever, I meant it, and I still mean it now. Thank you for being in my life.

Happy anniversary, baby. I love you.

[cross-posted from daddyinastrangeland.com]

This one's for her therapist in 20 years...

So, we’re doing our part to make our girl neurotic. For the most part, she’s a carefree, happy kid. Sure, she’s got her shy or cautious moments, but shy and cautious aren’t the same as neurotic. Here’s how we’re doing our part to put our kid on a shrink’s couch in a couple decades:

•Getting The Pumpkin to brush her teeth properly has always been a challenge. Usually presenting her with the alternative—getting brushed by mama or daddy—does the trick. And lately, she’s been enjoying brushing in time to mama’s rendition of “The Lonely Goatherd” from “The Sound of Music.” But sometimes, we do pull out the threats of holes in her teeth. As in, if you don’t brush, you’ll get holes in your teeth. And the passive-aggressive classic variation, “The Pumpkin doesn’t want to brush, okay, that’s okay, she wants holes in her teeth—let’s go to bed now.” So we pulled this the other night, actually getting her out of the tub (yes, she brushes in the tub during her bath), and she freaked. out. Started crying, wailing with exhaustion, “I don’t want holes in my teeth! I don’t want holes in my teeth!” Took a minute to calm her down enough to brush through the tears.

•We’re not always the best with the putting on of the sunscreen, but in a place like Bakersfield, we’ve gotta try. Somehow, I don’t think The Pumpkin’s ever gotten a sunburn yet (knock on wood). Since summer began, and with it our parade of triple digit temperatures [and please don’t say anything resembling “at least it’s a dry heat”], I’ve been applying sunscreen to her exposed skin when I drop her off at school. Okay, fine, the protective power probably runs out way before their afternoon jaunt outside, but still. She knows that sunscreen, or as she pronounces it, “sunscreem,” is to protect her skin from sunburn, even though she doesn’t know what that feels like. Well, the other day after a trip down south, I discovered that we’d left the tube that lives in the car at Grandma’s house. “My sunscreem! My sunscreem!” I tried to reassure her, tell her to come inside when she felt hot, stay in the shade. No dice. The first thing she said to one of her teachers when we walked in, voice full of sadness, was, “We left my sunscreem at my Grandma’s house.” That teacher, helpfully, offered to apply some of the kiddie sunscreen she had in her bag for her own child to our girl’s burnished skin. And I went and got another tube of sunscreen for the car.

•She’s less neurotic about this now, but when we first started putting her on her tricycle and riding around the neighborhood, I tried to get her to accept the uncomfortable Dora toddler helmet by telling her the story of my bicycle accident. I was in the 6th grade, miles from home, riding down a busy main street just so I could say I had gotten that far, and I swerved too quickly to avoid a car door and then get back to the curb, away from traffic. I lost two teeth—but, as I say in my cautionary tale, if I hadn’t been wearing a helmet, my head might’ve gotten split open. So, while she’ll tool around the backyard without the helmet now, in the beginning, my lesson worked too well. If I thought she didn’t need to gear all up because we weren’t going in the street, I’d try to get her to just get on without the helmet. Noooo! My helmet! Mama asks, “Why can’t you ride without your helmet, baby?” “Because my head will break open.” Way to instill the confidence there, daddy.

•For some reason, even though she’s fine on her own at school, when she’s with us, sometimes she still wants us to wipe her. “I need help!” she’ll call from down the hall. Of course, you never know when that’ll randomly alternate with the polar opposite: “I can do it all. by. myself!” Okaaay.... But anyway, back in the early days of potty-training, in order to impress upon her the importance of personal hygiene, I decided that the easiest way to make sure she cleaned herself was to tell her she had to wipe a certain number of times. Four times for poop, two times for pee. So, not that she actually follows this herself all the time, especially at school, but woe to the parent who, assessing the situation, decides that less than the required number of wipes is needed when called upon to “help.” “You only did one!” “That wasn’t four!” “You did it wrong!” Oy....

•On the cruise we recently went on, there were jumbo-sized dispenser of Purell-style hand sanitizer everywhere—on random walls, on moveable poles at the entrance to restaurants, at the top and bottom of the gangplank to shore. La dra. loved this. But if we ever tried to go to dinner without stopping at the dispenser—”My gel! My gel!” Like she was gonna get diptheria or something instantly if we didn’t give her some Purell.

So, what have you done to guarantee a lifetime of analysis for your little ones?

[crossposted from daddyinastrangeland.com]

How was your Father's Day?

I hope that everyone had a great time celebrating the fathers in their lives yesterday.

We drove down to my paternal grandmother's house for our annual backyard picnic, which was started in memory of my grandfather, who passed away near Father's Day 11 years ago. It was a full house--my grandmother, my parents, my dad's brother and his kids, my uncle's best friend who's sort of like another brother, my wife's parents, my dad's cousins and their families, and us. It was nice and cool, compared to Bakersfield, and we spent a leisurely evening hanging out and eating. Living as we do at least 2 hours away from family, The Pumpkin loves every second she gets to spend with any of her grandparents, and it shows. Watching her with them, and with the rest of the family, seeing the joy and love on her face--that's my Father's Day gift, and luckily I don't have to wait to get it just once a year.

How did you spend your Father's Day? Check out NoahJ's journal entry, and post your own. Also, upload photos of your celebrations to our scrapbooks (we're always looking for great photos to reprint in our monthly newsletter!) and share the love!