We are still almost three months out from Chanukah/Christmas season but I'm dreading it so it's on my mind as early as the fall.

My parents were interfaith. My father, who is deceased, was Jewish. My mother, who is still living, is not. My sister and mother celebrate Christmas.

I am a Jew.  I have always felt perfectly comfortable celebrating Christmas at my sister's house in Los Angeles. I even look forward to the food and decorating the tree. It's a wonderful family bonding time. My mother and sister reciprocate by spending Chanukah with me at my house in Bakersfield.

This arrangement worked fine until my sister and I had kids.

My sister has two girls, ages 5 and 14. The younger one still believes in Santa Claus.

I have a daughter, 6, and son, 3. I am not raising them with the Santa Claus myth. I have told them that Santa was a saint who lived a long time ago, and he was beloved so when he died, Christian parents didn't tell their children he was gone to Heaven lest they be sad. Instead, they took over bringing the presents and told the children Santa was doing it. We mustn't ever tell a Christian child that Santa is dead, because that would break their heart and we don't want to hurt anyone.

I had hoped that would work and for a few years it did, but the year before last my daughter blurted out that there is no such thing as Santa Claus. My sister swooped in and did damage control and as far as I know my little niece still believes, but ever since then Christmas has been very tense.

Usually I spend the night Christmas week to help my sister with cooking and shopping and things. That also spares me a lot of driving because I live two hours away, so it's not easy to go back and forth, especially with today's gas prices. Last year, for the first time, my sister asked me to just come over Christmas afternoon and leave later that day so that her daughters can open their Santa presents free of my children's commentary.

This year I'm sure she'll make the same request. I'm trying to decide if I should go at all. Maybe I should just skip it. I don't want to be anti-social, but I'm going to be so wildly paranoid that my children will say something I don't think I will enjoy myself. The year of the Santa incident my sister was FURIOUS at my daughter for almost ruining the magic. My sister almost stopped speaking to me over it. Plus it's a long drive to only stay there a few hours.

What do you think I should do?