Recent Blog Posts: Raising Bakersfield

getting closer

Fri, 05 Sep 2008 15:03:39 PDT

we got our fingerprinting done for the adoption paperwork... for the second time, in case we got new fingers since the last time.

It's september which means in a little more than three and a half months it will be 2009, when we can start answering all the "when" questions with "Next year!" (sigh)

We're coming, Ileah

Oh the tears!

Fri, 05 Sep 2008 13:48:27 PDT

We were in the car today, running some errands, and my son was upset because he wanted to fix something. I can't even remember right now what it was, but lately he has had this desire to make things just so, just the way he wants them.

Anyway, he was whining and complaining, and I finally just told him, "Honey, it's okay. We can't always make things perfect. Nothing in this world is perfect."

And then he looked up at me and said, "Because only God can make things perfect."

My eyes instantly welled up.

Potty Training is a breeze

Thu, 04 Sep 2008 15:19:56 PDT

Okay so the 2nd time around, i've discovered how to potty train effectively, within days...the secret...PATIENCE. I don't just mean patience UNTIL little whomever has an accident, but understanding and patience THROUGH OUT. Constant praise every time there's a pee or a poo or even a fake pee or poo in the potty. I discovered that my daughter was given the ability to tell herself when she needed to go because I let her figure it out that after 2-3 days of wetting or pooing her pants, she did not like it one bit and I also REFUSED any diapers or training pants, how, you say, well I bought a cheap mattress liner and a double set of sheets and miraciuloulsy she only had one bedtime accident. So, yes, it was double up on the underware and clothes everytime we went out, bring the potty seat, when it was discrete and if there was an accident then I had the ability to handle it with a little more patience. I made the mistake with my son of expecting him to pee and poo in the toilet because that's what I told him and he needs to do so! He didn't get the patience he needed from me, it's so easy to get frustrated and so it's almost best to assume they will have accidents for some time and in my case with Makena it was much more sucessful because she felt like she was in control. All I did was encourage her to try and make it to the potty next time and we also had some "oh no, i'm going but we'd run to the seat and it really reinforces were it needs to go and that she can to listen to her body's cues and with a little time and a lot of patience and understanding it will be done sooner then later. She's now 2 years and 3 months old and she potty's in public restrooms just like her big brother and she's been doing it with little (never poo anymore) to no accidents in her undies, now for some weeks. I'm so proud of her and I know how hard it seems when you're in the thick of it but this is a former super frustated, it took me 1 1/2 years to potty train my son, Mom. So, this is a huge sucess and I hope my little bit of tips and stuff may help or encourage others that it can be done. Last words...Commit to it completely and whatever you do do not buy into the diapers at night or training pants thing, I know my daughter is only one exception of 1000's but i've also had friends who've sucessfully potty trained the same sort of way and within days or weeks.

So, good luck!

Shawna

she said...

Thu, 04 Sep 2008 10:09:11 PDT

Daddy, I have a case of the Bless Yous

Oh, THOSE ligaments!

Wed, 03 Sep 2008 13:58:05 PDT

Last time I saw my mom (about two weeks ago on our birthday) she told me about how when she was pregnant with my "little" brother, she'd pick something up and "Oh! The pain!" Then a couple days later, after healing, she'd pick something else up and "Oh! The pain!" She kept tearing ligaments along either side of her abdomen.

Well, two nights ago I learned exactly what she was talking about. I went to roll over in bed and "Oh! The pain!" My entire mid-section was seized in this awful pain. I arched my back and took several deep breaths, but still let out a moan. What was that all about?? Then all day yesterday it hurt to walk, get out of my chair, bend over, basically do anything. I skipped water aerobics. I hobbled into my OB appointment this morning.

The nurse practitioner said I probably pulled the ligaments lining my abdomen. "Those ligaments are what hold everything up. You might need to get one of those belly straps. At least hold on to your belly as you roll over in bed to give it support." I hope I heal fast. This is not fun.

The rest of the appointment was really good, though. The baby's heart beat is as strong as ever. And while the np had the doppler wand on my belly, the baby kicked hard against it. "Whoa! Did you see that?" she said to James. "Oh yeah," he answered. "Did that hurt?" she asked me. "Nah, he does it all the time," I replied. It was funny to see her reaction — I would think she'd get that all the time. Maybe our boy is just especially strong. I certainly feel like a boxing ring a lot of the time. It gets uncomfortable sometimes, but hasn't hurt yet. He's not high up enough yet to kick ribs. I'm sure that will come in time.

I'm 28 weeks along. She measured my belly with a measuring tape and said I'm measuring at about 29 weeks. I've gained 3 pounds since my last visit; now I'm up to 186. I wonder how much this baby weighs! He feels heavy and low and loose and wobbly as I walk. I hope these ligaments heal fast! I don't need him falling out :)

Yeah, Right

Tue, 02 Sep 2008 23:11:47 PDT

Me: Honey, would you try not to get mud all over you at school?

Kiddo: Sure, Mom.

Me: Really? (thinking, "It would be so nice not to have to hose her off after preschool.")

See pics for kiddo's definition of "not mudddy." Take special note of new tennis shoes. :)

Update on Emma-The-Wanna-Be-Middle-School-Dropout

Tue, 02 Sep 2008 22:24:58 PDT

I thought it was going to be a good day. I thought we had made progress. I spoke to both of Emma's teachers, they were great, sounded enthusiastic and willing to look out for Emma and they recognized her transition challenges, etc. etc. etc.

Emma and I talked a lot this weekend about my own challenges with Middle School transitions. I asked people for prayer.

She left this morning feeling pretty positive and she came home crying that she never wanted to go back there, ever!

Her teacher called to talk to me about 15 minutes later to apologize for upsetting Emma (she hadn't meant to upset her) and we brainstormed possible reasons for the breakdown and possible solutions for next time.

The good thing is - we are in touch. We know each other now as collaborative partners in this thing called Junior High School. We don't see each other as "that horrible teacher/parent" (yes, I have had those before) and so far, so good.

I told Emma her teacher had called, that she was concerned and that we all want what is absolutely best for her.

She is going to start a swim team next Monday night. I am hopeful having an activity in the evening along with her church activities will help her. I know when she did swimming this Summer it seemed to help with her moods, too... because whoever designed the horror that is Middle School had to do it during one of the worst hormonally challenged time EVER! Argh.

So - I will keep working with, and most importantly, loving my little Emma. I appreciate the support, here, too from y'all.

I am also going to go into the office and see if there is a school newspaper. Emma is a tremendous writer. If there ISN'T a paper, maybe we could do a newsletter or something, involve other kids, do something where Emma can shine and connect with other kids.

*Crossing fingers.*

First Day Funny

Tue, 02 Sep 2008 17:28:30 PDT

Ethan started another year of pre-school today. But it was big boy's pre-school this time around. The final heave-ho for my December-just-missed-the-cut-off-baby before he makes the final ascent into kindergarten.

I tried to make it abundantly clear to him that behavior was going to be big emphasis this year. The kid can already read (are you paying attention Mr. Superintendent of schools who decides the cut-off is a hard and fast rule???) so, there's not much left to perfect except...um...behavior, I guess.

At any rate, he's got a great teacher and she has some great rules on behavior. She communicated them so perfectly to my son, that when I picked him up today he repeated them verbatim from the sheet she handed me in the morning. He listed all the consequences of bad behavior up and until the final consequence of being sent to the Principal's office.

To which he than adds, "And I think I have to stay there all day and night because the teacher made it sound like a horrible place. Right Mommy?"

"That's right, honey. All day and all night without any food or water." What? I thought it'd be funny. My boy usually knows when I'm joking so I left it at that and we moved on.

A couple of hours later, Daddy called and asked Ethan how his first day went. Ethan proceeded to tell Daddy (on speakerphone) all about the rules and then ended, very dramatically, "And I'll be sent to the Principal's office to sit and suffer all day long without any food or water."

"Wh-wh-what?" His Daddy asked. "Um, honey (talking to me now), are his teachers allowed to do that?"

Well, I have to get my entertainment somewhere.

$10 off weave and nails

Tue, 02 Sep 2008 14:16:10 PDT

Come in and receive $10 off on weave and nails. Offer valid for first time clients only. Promotional offer ends 12/01/08.

Sheer West Salon

$6.99 Haircut

Tue, 02 Sep 2008 12:52:14 PDT

For a limited time, receive a $6.99 hair cut at Great Clips. Valid for a single haircut per visit. Valid at all 3 Bakersfield locations.

Great Clips

Culture Shock

Tue, 02 Sep 2008 12:41:12 PDT

So I started riding the bike and pulling the bike trailer on tuesdays and thursdays to get Holly to and from preschool. It's one of my personal battles against buying gas. (Don't worry, Obama, I inflated my bike tires to proper levels for maximum fuel efficiency). It's a five mile one-way ride, and as much as I want to get in shape, I'd rather do ten miles a day then twenty. So I pack my laptop bag and camp out at a nearby park to do some work while Holly is in school.

So today, I am sitting at a park table, when six Indian American grandpas (they may or may not be grandpas, but they were that age) came and sat at my table around me. Umm, awkward. I'm thinking to myself, as I am picturing in my head the 20+ other empty tables in the park, "don't these guys know that in America, we like some elbow room and to be left alone when we are minding our own business?"

Hold the racism speech, I'm redirecting.

So then one of the other voices in my head (don't ask, it's too hard to get an exact count) says, "Maybe that's America's problem. Hmmm?"

These Indian American Grandpas started talking to me.... nothing unusual, just friendly conversation. It occured to me that this is, either formally or informally, a talking bunch that meets here regularly, if not daily or more. And, in very unAmerican fashion, they were being nice and including the strange bald guy in bike shorts who found himself in their neck of the woods. I relaxed and laughed and nodded at what I thought were appropriate places... half the conversation was in Indian. It was a refreshing experience to see people so eager to be kind and inclusive.

So to my Indian American Grandpa buddies, thanks for the culture shock.

And while we're being politically correct, I would like to now be referred to as a Scottish-Irish-English-German-American-by-way-of Canada.

Ehh, I'll just stick with "American." But maybe "Americans" should take notes from everyone else.

Pee, Poop & Pregnancy :)

Mon, 01 Sep 2008 20:56:27 PDT

Let me just throw this out there-- why is our 3 1/2 year old having so many accidents after being potty-trained for almost a year?! Today was a bad day for "accidents." During resttime she went #2 in her panties-- actually a common theme. That's why I put accidents in quotes. Because it's so common (I mean it happens almost every day!), she must kind of know what's going on?! After an accident of this sort, should there be punishment... especially since it seems she knows better!? Anyways, that wasn't the only "accident" today. She also peed her pants-- and made a trail all the way to the potty. I assume that time she just waited too long. Anyways, just frustrating and another one of those parenting items where instict doesn't kick in with the ultimate solution. :)

In other news, we found out nearly a month or so ago, that we are expecting babe #2. We're due March 30th. I am learning how to manage personal wellbeing (with morning sickness & tiredness) & parenting a toddler (with accidents, meldowns & messes on her part and less patience on my part). It's growing me. If anyone has any book suggestions on teaching a pre-schooler about becoming a big sister, I'm game.

Also, our normally sweet Zoe (the 3 1/2 year old) has been kicking and hitting us quite a bit. Also normally will do everything BUT what we want her to do. Like if we say "come here," she'll try to do a somersault or jump around ... then when she finally comes, she will have taken the longest possible route. Any thoughts on this?

All for now! Oooh, in coming weeks, there's going to be a book group starting for mom's on Monday nights. I'll keep you posted!!

Celebrate With Gifts That Give Back!

Mon, 01 Sep 2008 13:06:06 PDT

Marjorie turned six last Saturday and we celebrated her birthday with family and friends at CALM. This year we did something different. We decided to celebrate and give back! So we had an ECHOage party for Marjorie!!! Instead of receiving tons of presents on her birthday, we asked her how she likes the idea of sharing and giving back to the community. We explained to her that she will still have a present to open at her party but instead of receiving multiple gifts from everyone, she will get ONE special gift that she really wants to get for her birthday. She agreed. We asked her to make a wish list and on her birthday, she will find out what we got for her.

About 4 weeks before her birthday party, we sent out invitations to families and friends via email letting them know that this year, we are celebrating with gifts that give back. We invited them to view her invitation and request online. She chose the International Child Art Foundation to be recipient of half of her ECHOage funds. We received a real good response. Some people did ask how they can donate if they are not comfortable to give their information online. So we came up with the idea of asking them to donate to CALM instead. We sent them a wish list from CALM and requested that they bring something from that list instead of bringing in a wrapped present for Marjorie. It all turned out great!!! Marjorie was able to raise $124 on ECHOage to support ONE meaningful cause and $124 for her ONE special gift. We only spent $85 for her gift so we agreed to donate the remaining money to CALM. At her party, she raised another $70 for the zoo and was able to give them a bag of cat food and bird seeds.

All the kids had a blast at her party... we had face painting and a silly magic show... and we ended the day with a train ride! We wished we had more time to go around the zoo but we didn't have enough time!

More photos courtesy of Mike Lancaster at: http://www.glendalehigh.com/marjorie_6th_birthday/

Eye Doctors

Sun, 31 Aug 2008 15:21:51 PDT

Anyone have recommendations for eye doctors? I'm specifically looking for eye doctors who are pediatric ophthalmologists and have experience with strabismus and amblyopia (lazy eye). I have one recommendation for a doc down at UCLA, but I'd like some others. (No, this is not for the kiddo; I just know someone who needs help.)

Milestones

Sat, 30 Aug 2008 16:03:12 PDT

So today was a big one for Anthony a play date no mom. I could have just left but Jasmine saw I needed to see him be ok without me. He was fine right at home instantly! Yet part of me wanted him to cry or fuss not barley say goodbye! This is so good for him! He has a friend! Well more then one! All he keeps going on about is this being his first real birthday party cause he will have friends! YEAH!

I worry about him Aspeger's is hard on him but this is such a big milestone that others will comes too! I CAN SEE THE LIGHT!

Buy One Haircut and Get One Free

Fri, 29 Aug 2008 12:00:47 PDT

For a limited time buy one haircut and get another haircut for free. Offer valid for one person per visit. Cannot be mixed with other promotional offers. Expires 12/1/08

The Look

Allow us to buy the Gas!

Fri, 29 Aug 2008 09:26:00 PDT

We'll do your "to do's" and run around town so you don't have to! With today's high gas prices, do you want to use your valuable time (and your gas!) to run errands? Call us we will do it all for you. Time Avenue 665-0757

Time Avenue

Buy 1 regular cupcake and get 1 mini free

Fri, 29 Aug 2008 09:18:01 PDT

Receive a free mini cupcake with the purchase of a regular size cupcake, choose from any flavor on hand, quantities not limited. Toppers, extra sprinkles, and special decorations not included with this offer. May not combine with any other offer.

Kupcake Kreations

Pass the s'mores ... and some ore!

Thu, 28 Aug 2008 14:11:06 PDT

Last week James and I went on a road trip up the California coastal Highway 1, camping along the way at various state parks and beaches. It was a beautiful trip -- we learned to co-exist on the daily and fell into a cooperative pattern of setting up and breaking down camp, cooking and cleaning, building the campfire, etc. It was good practice in homemaking, being that this week he is moving in with me!

And any couple who can camp together, can probably rear a child together.

I had my fair share of s'mores on the trip, along with salt water taffy bought at Cannery Row in Monterrey. It was more sugar than I usually eat, which made me nervous going into my 1-hour glucose test Monday morning. I fasted, which also made me queasy, but downed the sweet orange drink in a timely fashion. An hour later and I was having blood drawn. My eyes teared up and I got a lump in my throat as the infant across from me cried while getting her foot pricked and squeezed for a blood test. She sounded like one of my dog's squeaky toys. But her cry was heart-wrenching for me to hear. I looked away.

Then yesterday I got a message from the doctor's office: Please call them back. Oh no! I was going to be diagnosed with gestational diabetes. I just knew it ... usually no news is good news and here they had some news! Despite the guilt, I downed THREE cookies at book club last night as a last hoorah before having to cut out all sugar.

Then today the doctor called me back. No gestational diabetes, thank god! But my iron is a bit low. I am to start taking an iron supplement each day. Apparently the steaks during the camping trip weren't enough.

So pass me those s'mores, and pass me some iron ore to gnaw on as well. I'm relieved I can now finish off all that salt water taffy we brought home with us.

Our next appointment is Wednesday, with a nurse practitioner. We are now in our seventh month and getting excited to meet our son. He is squirming around more than ever. When he moves, it's not a "kick." It's a total body squirm-a-rama. We enjoy the nightly shows in bed watching my tummy move in waves as he flops around.

Lately I've noticed my ankles swell to point of disappearing at night. The first time I noticed my "cankles" I burst into tears! Now I just pout. James says my feet are lovely and kisses my ankles. He is so sweet. But seriously, I can't wait to have my slender ankles back.

What's next: Childbirth classes start Sept. 16 and we'll be shopping for a "family" vehicle this month. Time is starting to really fly!

Precious Moments

Thu, 28 Aug 2008 13:47:45 PDT

This has not been the best week as far as my relationship with my older two kids. It seems that aliens have overtaken their bodies and caused them to make me crazy. They have been in a lot of trouble, just one thing after another - all little things in the whole scheme of life, but constant little things are frustrating. So, in the midst of all this, I was out for breakfast with my dear friend Amberly, who I so appreciate because I can tell her all my frustrations and my failures (in my parenting this week) and know that she still loves me and my boys. Thanks Amberly!!! As we were ending our time together yesterday morning, she was telling me how great my boys are and just giving me a good reminder of that, which keeps things in perspective. As she was telling me that, I recalled a precious conversation I had with Jason, my 10 year old, last week! We were in the car and for some reason we were talking about foreign exchange students. I said something about talking to James, who is 13, about those opportunities (not that I would really let him go, I don't think!!) because I think I would have liked to do that as a teenager had an opportunity posed itself. And James is a teenager now. Anyway, Jason said, "James would never go away for a year." We continued to talk about it for a few minutes, and he again said James would never go, so I asked him if he would, and he said he could never be away for that long. I said something like, "When you are older, you might think it would be fun. I would have enjoyed it when I was a teenager." To which he responded, "Mom, we are too connected to you to leave for so long." I can't tell you how that warmed my heart. I know over the next seven years, he will grow and be ready to spread his wings and fly, but it brings me great joy that right now, he is so connected to us that he cannot fathom being anywhere else! What a sweet kid! I love him! I love them all, even when the weeks are difficult! This too will pass, but my relationship with my kids never will. They are still grounded, but after some time of venting with a friend and thinking through what's important, I apologized to them for my frustration (and loss of temper) and gave them each a big hug when they got home from school yesterday!!! Parenting is tough stuff! Those little glimpses that I am doing something right are precious!

The Outsiders Guide To Middle School

Thu, 28 Aug 2008 13:25:25 PDT

My daughter started Middle School ten days ago and we are fighting to keep her going, reasonably productive and interested.

She is angry. She doesn't like it. She doesn't have any friends. There is nothing interesting there.

And naturally she is hormonal, too.

I understand all of this and yet, I am having a difficult time trying to discern how to make it any better for her. I homeschooled my older daughter during Junior High but they are so different - I think if this daughter was underfoot we would end up intensely disliking each other rather than me just being annoyed in the after-school hours.

This morning she couldn't find her planner and the planet apparently stops spinning without this planner. I saw it on the table and then, it wasn't there. I am guessing SHE misplaced it but she had to blame me, instead. I am pretty sure she hadn't done her homework (an ongoing battle since the beginning of her educational process) and having a parent who loses that planner is an easy skapegoat.

The best I can do is pray that some other Outsider will reach towards her. Please, someone decent, reach towards her.

Does they really think about it this young?

Thu, 28 Aug 2008 09:23:30 PDT

This was the conversation on the way home from dropping my son off this morning

"Dad?"

"Ya."

"My boobies are getting bigger"

She's 3

Imagine.........................

Wed, 27 Aug 2008 13:12:03 PDT

I want to imagine a world where when I take my child into a store his twirling is not seen as bad but cute! Yes I am aware he looks normal! Sorry about that I will run right out and scar him up for ya! Where no one asks me to leave and lets the child age two who is tearing up the store to stay and just calm down! My son thinks he is an airplane today what is wrong with that?

Why is it that autism has no face? No sorry Aspergers is not the new thing for bad kids its the hope for good kids!

My child is normal for him! What if Thomas Edison's mom had thought yes he is stupid? Well we would be in the dark!

I will not sit in the dark I will not stay at home! And I am there for all kids with Aspergers! I will be the voice loud and clear!

Needing - but Not Wanting, Necessarily - This Support Group

Wed, 27 Aug 2008 11:23:49 PDT

and wrote in my notebook while I waited:

I sat in my beloved Jane, known to the rest
of the world as my Ford Explorer, outside an
office bearing the sign “H.e.a.r.t.s
Connection – a family resource center
for special families”.

I resented my need to be there at all.

I didn’t want to have what society calls “a special
family”. I wanted a slightly-on-the-edge-of-normal
family, a quirky family with an assortment of odd
characters dropping by, uninvited-yet-always-invited.

I didn’t and don’t want to be a “special” family,
draped in excessive niceties.

I want to be gritty and real with this yet I need,
more often than not, soft cuddles and calm
sssshhhhhsssssshing like a baby nestled on her
Mommy’s shoulder as she is rhythmically patted,
one ear close enough to the maternal heart to
hear the gentle workings inside.

Swoosh, swoosh. Swoosh, swoosh.

I don’t want niceties. I want the wordless
comfort of Swoosh, swoosh. Swoosh, swoosh.

I spent time with William Zinnser as I waited.
He made giggles flow out of my mouth as
I avoided going through that door.

I steadfastly didn’t arrive at the meeting
and didn’t arrive at the meeting and didn’t
arrive at the meeting. I was clear on not
wanting to be there and aware of the
simultaneously deep seeded need to be
there, anyway.

I was reminded of Sharing Parents, long ago,
Marlena and tears and tissue boxes passed
from person-to-person on journeys around
the circle as one after another, stories
were shared. Salty relief flooded our faces
as we shared bits and pieces of our lives
that didn’t feel safe to share
with “the rest of the world”.

I remember never wanting to be there, either.

I listened with my head down, focused on
the pencil scrawling across the page, and
heard the wind pushing the leaves against
each other, a slight rustling, a water
tumbling over rocks sound, a God sound,
reminding me that I can do this, whatever
incarnation of this I am living right now.

I took a drink of my ubiquitous iced tea
and hesitatingly slowed the movement of
my pencil, knowing the next thing would
be rolling up windows and propelling
myself through the doors and into
the meeting.

I hear murmurs as the people who know
each other arrive. I hear flip flops
flipping and flopping against heels.

I put my notebook down, opened my
car door and left to go to the meeting.

The Choice to Stay Home

Wed, 27 Aug 2008 10:59:07 PDT

We are back in the grind of our school year. My oldest daughter is in 5th grade, my stepdaughter is in 1st grade, and my husband is back to work at a local elementary school, but this year I'm not heading back to school. It's the first time I haven't had my own classroom in 7 years.

I loved being a teacher. I enjoyed my years teaching kindergarten, first, and second grades. It was odd for me this year not stocking up on the school supplies and other new items for my classroom. I always loved the first day of school and meeting my class of fresh new faces. I loved heading out to the playground and seeing my students from the previous years and how they had grown. I enjoyed creating lessons and watching children learn, but this year I'm the teacher of my own children.

I gave up the job I loved to do the very important job of mothering two little guys and two older girls. It is scary giving up a job (especially during the time of state budget cuts), but each day I wake up and I thank God that I am able to be home. Each day I'm looking for one thing that I am thankful I was able to do that day. On the first day of the school year I was thankful that I was able to take my 5th grader to school. It was my first time ever being able to take her to school on the first day! Another day I was thankful that I was able to watch my 2 year old son entertain himself with a box for almost an hour!

Many days it will be the simple things that I am thankful for being able to see because I am home. I love being able to see my infant smile. Other times it may be the BIG events like seeing my youngest roll over for the first time or crawl for the first time. Then, there are days, like yesterday, when both of my little guys were wrecks. They cried and whined and my day seemed SOOO LONG. But yes I was thankful that I was the one comforting their cries. Someday I will go back to the classroom, but until then I am going to treasure each day I have at home.

Back to Life, Back to Reality

Wed, 27 Aug 2008 10:39:09 PDT

Back to Taking Neighbor Kids to School- no more sleeping in till 7:30. We have to now leave the house by 7:25. This is quite a change from last year's schedule and certainly our summer schedule! Setting the alarm clock is once again part of my daily routine.

Back to Preschool- The kiddo started her second year of preschool today, the big kid class at that! I watched her during group time, and wow, she is so much more mature. *sniff* Will there ever be a first day of school I don't get teary-eyed? Oh, and as the kids walked in from outdoor play time, the kiddo took the hand of a new girl and showed her the way, sat by her in group time and befriended her like a sweet girl. Mama was proud!

Back to Work- Monday was my first day back at work. So, I'm back to ironing work clothes, back to putting on a full face of make up (ugh!), and back to wearing heels (another ugh!). However, I am enjoying teaching. I cannot imagine working full time, raising kids, doing the drop off and pick up from child care thing 5 days a week. I applaud all single parents - you are super people!

Back to Caffeine - Oh yeah. During the summer I noticed my caffeine intake diminished, but come that first day of getting up before the sun was up, I went right back to the coffee. God put that little zip in there for a reason :)

Night Time Pull Ups

Wed, 27 Aug 2008 10:24:54 PDT

The kiddo is outgrowing her night time pull ups, and she is not ready to stay in her underwear through the night. The pull ups are for kids weighing up to 40 lbs., and she is just over that. Any ideas as to what we could use?

A budding entrepreneur

Tue, 26 Aug 2008 14:29:37 PDT

I went to Los Angeles this weekend to see a concert.

In the car on the way down, I get a call from my mother. Call me. K. is in trouble.

Why, why, why did I think I could squeak out a night off?

So I call and the story isn't clear. Something about K. and Lauren, the little girl across the street, going door to door to ask the neighbors for money. K. told my mom she was at Lauren's house. Lauren told her father, Joe, that she was at our house. In fact they were apparently panhandling at doorsteps up and down our block.

They got busted when Joe discovered a $5 bill in Lauren's room and asked her where she got the money. Lauren tried to stammer a lie, which didn't fly, so he worked it out of her that she and K. got the money from a man up the street.

Joe was understandably alarmed and came to my mom's house to interrogate K. (Divide and conquer). K., who is only 6, broke down and confessed immediately that they had lied about their whereabouts in some strange scheme to get money.

Now, Joe's reaction is the same as any parent's would be if they learned a grown man had given 7- and 6-year-old girls cash for no apparent reason. So he angrily marched over to the man's house to return the $5 and asked him not to give his daughter money again.

Through all of this my cell phone is ringing off the hook with my mom offering updates as information trickles in. With each call, the story is getting worse, and I'm freaking out. Is this a pedophile paying my daughter for nude photos or something? How long has this money thing been going on? Who is this mysterious man up the street?

My imagination is running wild, and I can't take it anymore so I tell my mom to go across the street and get Joe's number so I can call him and hear the story first-hand.

Five minutes later I call Joe. The story has changed yet again.

The kids weren't panhandling. They were peddling jewelry. Some plastic bracelets of Lauren's, and K. contributed some hair barretts to the enterprise. Most of the neighbors politely declined the sales pitch.

Only one sucker was stupid enough to pay $5 for a plastic Barbie bracelet and some hair barretts.

I guess he was trying to be nice, Joe offered by way of explanation, since he knows you and apparently has met K. before. Some guy who works with you, I think?

And suddenly it's all clear to me.

A co-worker friend of mine lives three houses down.

I was so mortified I could have crawled under a car and died. I called my friend to beg his forgiveness and he was very gracious.

K. is grounded for a week.

Why Not?

Tue, 26 Aug 2008 07:45:26 PDT

Well, we are two days into the week and I figured I should probably get back on here and post something. Some days I try to post something serious, other days something funny. Today I thought I would take the serious approach and discuss a growing epidemic spreading across our great nation. In backyards, garages, abandoned buildings, empty lots, and other unsavory places the growing trend of underground baby fighting is catching like dry brush and burning all in its path. If you don't believe me please watch both the attached video and follow the link at the bottom of my post to see for yourself. I'm thinking we need to push someone at the Bakersfield Californian to do an investigative report.

http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/0d40788bd7

What happened to the High Schools?

Tue, 26 Aug 2008 06:58:26 PDT

So I started my online history course at BC this week and I am participating in an online class discussion. I am shocked by how poorly these high school graduates are writing. Grammar must have been a budget cut victim. I can maybe understand kids having trouble with complex grammar, but these kids can't even write conversationally. Several can't even finish a single thought before getting lost... and it was their own thought to begin with! Granted, BC is not the educational destination of the top Kern County high school graduates (no offense BC, I'm proud to be a Renegade), but NOBODY should get out of high school if they can't form a basic sentence. Or if you can't form a sentence, at least throw some words together that address the topic question given.

Wow. That's the only other thing I can say. Wow.

Homework Meltdowns!

Mon, 25 Aug 2008 17:49:44 PDT

It is only the second week of school and my two older boys are already having HOMEWORK MELTDOWNS! Believe me I am following all of the rules that the teachers preach to you every year at Back to School Night.

- Have a set homework time.

- No TV or any other distractions ( try explaining this one to my 3 and 1 year old).

- Lots of encouragement

These rules sound great on paper or coming from the very nice teacher who has never had any children herself to apply them to, but for me I hate this time of day. Dealing with the tantrums, crying, and their ability to distract themselves from the homework in front of them.

My boys are definitely Homework Challenged!

Karen

What you read here should stay here!

Mon, 25 Aug 2008 08:46:00 PDT

Blogs written on this site should be left on this site. It is disrespectful for someone to copy and paste anything they read to another site or email.

When I grow up...

Sun, 24 Aug 2008 14:07:54 PDT

My DS has said some cute (and some downright funny) things about what he wants to be when he grows up. The other day he told me he wanted to be an astronaut when he grows up (cool!), and that got me thinking about everything else he has said he wants to be when he grows up. Here is everything I can remember that he has said:

Astronaut

Firefighter

"Train driver"

Garbage Man

Dog

Princess (those last two made me LOL)

Such great dreams! I will have to make sure I write these down in his baby book so we can giggle about it when he grows up.

I'm Back

Sat, 23 Aug 2008 15:56:46 PDT

Hello everyone! Fun to see all the new people. I haven't been on here in a very long time. One of my last entries was about wanting to have baby #2 and my fears about timing and getting sick again.

Well, timing was great but I did get very sick! I am now 19 weeks along with baby #2 and he or she (we find out on Tuesday!!!) has made me very sick! I've only been feeling normal again for about a week now. I hope I stay this way.

Just wanted to say "Hi!" and that I am still alive and to share my good news with you all. :)

-Rhiannon

Youth Violence

Thu, 21 Aug 2008 10:56:59 PDT

Yesterday I was watching the local evening news and I heard that a 15 year old had been shot. This saddens me a great deal. Where were the parents? Why wasn't the child in school? The list of questions as to how this could happen could go on and on. The fact is a 15 year old should not be participating in such acts of violence. It shouldn't even be in our vocabularies that 15 year olds and younger children are participating in horrific acts of violence. Yet in our city we often hear of youngsters getting shot and/or participating themselves in criminal activities.

I know times have changed, but should we accept all changes? I'm not that old and I know when I was in junior high and high school I was way too busy to even be hanging out on the streets in early afternoons. Now it seems as if too many children are left alone and they are making poor decisions. We as parents need to guide our children into more positive outlets.

For those of you reading this, you obviously care about your children because you are participating in Raising Bakersfield. How do we help the wayward children who do not have the parental support that our children have? Can we stop the violence that is affecting the youth of Bakersfield?

Where are our Good Kids?

Thu, 21 Aug 2008 10:56:15 PDT

Fun at the Beach!

Thu, 21 Aug 2008 00:17:08 PDT

We took the kids to the beach before school started and spent 3 days and 2 nights at our fave place to relax and unwind --- Cambria. We love the laid back, relaxed, peaceful and quiet atmosphere of Cambria. Not to mention the not so crowded beach. We invited another family to join us and we all had a blast!!!

Our first night we didn't really do anything. We stayed at the house and tried to get settled, planned our activities for the next 2 days and our menus, watched a movie and just enjoyed the house, the view and the cool weather.

The next day we took our time to get ready and left after brunch to head for Moonstone Beach. The kids had a lot of fun at the beach and we all enjoyed watching them run and play in the water. Then off we went to Main street for a late lunch and some shopping. We invaded the shops, antique stores, wine tasting rooms and all other tourist traps on Main Street from Windsor Blvd to Cambria Dr!!! Then off we went to Harmony to show our friends the cute little town and we were hoping we could show them Harmony's chapel as well (where we originally planned to get married) but the chapel was closed!

The sun was still up and we were all still pumped up for more places to see. So we drove to Morro Bay to show our friends' daughter the Morro Rock and the area. And our dear Marjorie got her chance to invade The Shell Shop to get some seashells (there were no seashells to pick at Moonstone Beach and she loves seashells). Just before it got dark, we were heading back to Cambria for dinner at the house.

Our third day (and last day), we decided to head back to the other side of Main Street (by Burton Dr) to hit more shops and antique stores. The kids, on the other hand, were yelling for the beach! They want to go back to the beach and play in the water but we all agreed to walk Main Street again! They got what they wished for though when we decided to ride the free trolley just for the heck of it... we were able to take the kids back to Moonstone Beach since it's one of the stops and they got to play for about 20 minutes before the trolley had to leave! Back to where we left off and took the trolley at Burton Dr, we hit more shops then off we went to drive back to Moonstone Beach Drive to eat dinner... we first stopped by the Sea Chest Restaurant & Oyster Bar but the line was sooooo long and they don't even open until another half hour! So we drove to see how Moonstone Beach Bar & Grill looks like... luckily they don't have a long wait!!! We were all starving!!!

After dinner we took a short walk (we were all stuffed!) and we drove back home. When we got back to B-town, it was warm!!! But we are glad to be home... now it's time to switch to school mode! School starts the next day!!! Waaahhh!!!

Scary!

Wed, 20 Aug 2008 15:01:49 PDT

We went to Michael's on Monday, and as we were browsing through we set off a Halloween display with life-size creepy animated monsters (a headless bride and creepy groom)... DS freaked and tried to hide on another aisle, and DD started crying. My poor babies! They were afraid to go near that part of the store, and DD kept whimpering and saying "scary" until we left. I have to admit, those things got my heart pumping too. Here's what we set off: The Headless Bride and Her Groom

I hate Halloween season, because some of that stuff is just too scary to be sitting out on the aisles at the store. :(

At Bedtime Tonight...

Tue, 19 Aug 2008 20:14:59 PDT

"Mommy, sing me a song."

"OK!" I sing him "Jesus Loves Me."

"That's a good song," he says. "I sing it all of the time."

I grin. "That is a good song, isn't it."

"Yeah, because Jesus loves me."

Sometimes my kids make my heart feel so big, I don't know how it fits in my chest.

LACK OF CHOICE

Tue, 19 Aug 2008 09:09:55 PDT

Have any of you fellow bloggers noticed our lack of selection when it comes to party decorations? I am planning a dinner on Saturday for my parents 39th wedding anniversary. Looking for a theme has me in a quandry. Adult themes consist of: Casino Night, 70's music(Disco), Nascar, 50's Diner,MArdi Gras or western. I chose the western theme , it seems to be better suited for my family. I was very disappointed at the selection of decorations and have decided to just make a few things on my own. ( I use to Teach Crafts at a Special Needs school). So I have come to the conclusion that if you like Disney Princesses or CARS.... your in luck. But for a more unique theme, you have to be crafty and a great imagination.

Miss Hollywood's Turn!

Tue, 19 Aug 2008 08:51:32 PDT

This morning was Holly's first day of her last year of pre-school! She was so excited to see her friends again and to be in the "big girl" classroom. She is in Miss Esther's class and already loving it.

This is our fourth year at Ridgeview Christian PreSchool (two with Layton and this is the second with Holly). It's an outstanding preschool if you are looking. It is a part of Ridgeview Christian Church, right across from Ridgeview High on Stine.

Just Out of the Starting Block

Mon, 18 Aug 2008 22:31:25 PDT

The build up, the anticipation, the first day of school has come and gone and I find myself thinking, okay, that's good, can we go back to summer now? Now that the initial excitement has worn off, I'm ready to roll over and go back to sleep. The good news is my daughter is still feeling the adrenalin rush of a new school year. It looks like we have been blessed with another wonderful teacher and since this is my big 3rd grader's second year at the same school she had friends to look for this morning (unlike last year when she was the "new kid"). All in all we're off to a good start, but I still feel the tug of melancholy at sending my baby out into the world. Said baby asked me to drop her off in front of the school this morning."No way!" I said. "I'm walking you in and meeting your teacher." (And snapping photos to commemorate this day). "Humor your mother." I said, as she stood in front of her new desk for a photo op. We helped a couple of kids who were wandering the halls looking lost and confused. I guess some parents don't have the luxury of holding their kid's hands every step of the way, but that's something I insist upon. I mean jeez, she's only 8!! Don't I at least have a few more years before she kicks me to the parental curb? Doesn't she see, I'm clinging with every ounce of strength not to my own fleeting youth, but hers...

They're off!

Mon, 18 Aug 2008 10:31:43 PDT

The kids are gone to school. Sarah and I are sitting quietly at home. Brent's in the other room working. It's kind of strange. David was so excited for kindergarten. He had some anxiety on Friday when we went to orientation, but this morning he was great! He got up, got dressed, brushed his teeth and hair, put on his back pack, messed with his hair some more, and messed with his hair some MORE! We are a little stressed about how important his hair was to him. Even as we were taking pictures in his classroom, he was still trying to make sure his hair was just perfect - strange child!!! He was happy and excited. He had his lunch/library number memorized, which impressed me a little. When they showed me that number on Friday and said to help him memorize it, I thought they might be a little crazy, but he had the six digits in his mind by the time Friday was over. However, he is still having trouble with his teacher's name. It will be interesting to see if he is better at math than English!!!

Jason found his classroom and met his teacher with us following. It's nice that he likes to have us around still. I am excited about his teacher! After we found his desk and dropped off his backpack, he took off to the playground to be with his buddies.

James left home on his bicycle before we left with the other kids. He is in eighth grade. I am okay with that, but I am having a little trouble with the fact that next year he will be in high school. Time flies!

Sarah and I are going to have to get used to the quiet - it may take several days! Hope everyone else had a good first day of school!

1st Day - 1st Grade

Mon, 18 Aug 2008 08:36:55 PDT

Layton is in 1st grade today with Mrs. King at Castle Elementary. Next time we blink, he'll be graduating from high school and then from UCLA. (just kidding, Layton. You can go to whatever school you want... it would just be really hard for me to cheer for SC).

Here are some shots from this morning. We're proud of you, Layton!

Recap of Recent Kiddoisms

Sun, 17 Aug 2008 22:04:44 PDT

Kiddo (random thought): We're like three peas in a pod.

-----------------------------------------

After I was spooked by a bug-

Kiddo: Don't be afraid. God is bigger!

------------------------------------------

Kiddo to me: Can I have this candy?

Me: No.

Kiddo: I think I'll ask my Daddy.

Me: (silence - knowing Daddy will say no)

Kiddo (coming back eatind candy): Daddy said "Yes."

Me (shaking head): Oh no. (hollering to hubby) HONEY! We need to talk!!!!!

---------------------------------------

Kiddo (on phone with friend who is starting kindergarten): So, you're going to kindergarten?

Friend: Yeah. I'm five.

Kiddo: Yeah. You're still older. I'm still little. Maybe I can go with you later.

Going Back to Work (a paying job, that is)

Sun, 17 Aug 2008 21:45:52 PDT

I took a job, a very, very part-time job. I haven't had a on-the-payroll-must-be-on-time-need-to-look-professional job in 4 years.

So the kiddo and I have been running around like maniacs trying to get all my employment paperwork taken care of. We've made multiple rounds to offices. I've been using the word "paperwork" several times a day. When the kiddo asks, "What's that (pile of papers) for?" and I explain, "It's for Mommy's new job," she just looks at me quizzically. Yeah. She doesn't quite get it. I tell her I'm going to teach a class, and she asks, "At my school?" Funny. But I must say that she's been a trooper as I haul her around in the heat to complete all the preliminary employment stuff.

Returning to the classroom is both strange and familiar. Familiar in the sense that I will always be a teacher. I'm looking forward to being back in a classroom. I'm looking forward to interacting with students. I'm looking forward to watching students succeed. I've been going through pages of notes on phonics, phonemes, morphemes, text analysis, reading comprehension, and I enjoy every moment, sometimes even stopping to just run my hand over the pages. But it is strange in the sense that I'm not going back to my classroom. I'm working with new administrators. I'm on a new campus. I haven't even seen my room. I'm working with new curriculum and assessment tools. So much new stuff - it's just wonderfully different.

And did I mention how this all came together? The hubby and I had been discussing my going back to work - a discussion that had been on and off the table several times in the last year. We both agreed that it couldn't disrupt our current commitments. My working is important, but not worth sacrificing our values. We also knew child care was an issue (isn't it always?). The job would have to pay enough to make paying for child care worth it. We contemplated several ideas, and a few possibilities were seriously considered. But nothing worked out - either the hours weren't quite right, or the pay was too little, or we'd have to change preschools, or . . . fill in the blank. But then a friend mentioned this new position in her district - a position most teachers wouldn't want because they need full time work, or they work full time already. I went down to the administrator's office, and they were ready to hire me (guess I have a few good references in the district - thanks to my former colleagues!). The pay was decent. The hours were ideal - Monday through Friday, 3-5 p.m. The work itself is what I enjoy. The work place is downtown which is what the hubby and I had hoped for. And child care fell into place - family members offered to help, and we found a wonderful babysitter (Thanks, Kevin! Thanks, RB, for creating this site where parents can connect!). Everything, I mean EVERYTHING, has worked out.

In a week I'll be walking into the classroom. Not sure what it's going to look like, but that's okay. What I do know is this: I'm going in there and teaching people to read. And I'm going to love it.

Seriously? You have kids and you are still smoking?

Sat, 16 Aug 2008 22:26:27 PDT

C'mon. Really? I don't even need to make the case against it.

I saw a woman smoking in her car today with three kids in the back seat. I don't have the words...

"But Kevin, when I smoke, I go outside so my kids don't have to be exposed to it."

I don't have to make the case against that either.

"But Kevin, I tell my kids that smoking is not good for them."

This case I will make. The most powerful impression you make on your children (and by the way, you don't get to decide... they do) is not a single word that comes out of your mouth. It is your actions.

So when you are telling your kids, in between puffs and silly mouth-contorted smoke blows, that smoking is bad for them... they are definitely learning. They are learning that you don't respect your body, you don't respect them enough to lead them, and if they want to do what is right they need to follow someone else.

BUT THEY WANT TO FOLLOW YOU.

"But Kevin, it is an addiction."

Well, gosh golly geepers, I hope that someday the world will have programs and quitting aids to help you beat the addiction.

Once you have kids, it's not about you.

C'mon. Really?

Foaming Soap Refill Recipe

Sat, 16 Aug 2008 09:34:07 PDT

My big boy is potty training! That means he is washing his hands--a lot--and his favorite soap to use is foaming hand soap. It is pretty expensive, and I hate to buy a new foaming soap bottle every time we run out. So, I went on the hunt for a recipe for a foaming soap refill. It works great! Here it is:

3 Tbsp. hand soap
2/3 cup warm water

Gently mix them together (do not shake!) and pour into foaming soap dispenser.

That's it!! Give it a try!

STAR WARS - CLONE WARS

Sat, 16 Aug 2008 00:14:52 PDT

Today was the opening of Star Wars the Clone Wars at the theater and of course my three older boys were super excited. My husband and I dropped off the baby at Grandma and Papa's house and were on our way to see yet another Star Wars film. My 9 1/2 year old has been obsessed with Star Wars since he was 2 and as each boy becomes old enough he to adopts the same obsession for himself.

The movie was actually very entertaining and stayed true to the core of all the Star Wars movies. It included droid humor, Jedi honor, and of course great battling scenes. My boys tell me that the movie is a prequel to a new Cartoon Network Star Wars series airing on TV soon. Well, I guess the Star Wars phase is going to sick around awhile longer.

May the Force be with me!

Karen

Life with 4 boys

Fri, 15 Aug 2008 11:05:50 PDT

I have been a mother for 10 years and If you had asked me ten years ago if I was planning to have 4 boys I probably would have told you NO WAY! Well, here I am and I have the most kind, fun, happy, witty, smart, talented, and handsome four boys that anyone could ask for. Set aside from all of these wonderful qualities lets get real, they are still Boys, and as I write this they are right behind me chasing each other with fists up and voices at maximum level.

I have heard over and over from strangers to my husband that boys will be boys. I just hope my sanity will be able to endure all of the years that lay before me (Ha Ha!).

My youngest son Alec just turned 1 in June and I now have been changing diapers for 10 years straight and still have a year and a half to go. With every poopy that I change I just say that this is one poopy closer to potty training and no more diapers!

Roman is my three year old son (4 on Sept. 4) and he will melt your heart with his perfect smile and twinkle in his eye, but watch out for his temper. His soft sweet little voice almost turns demonic when he lets his anger explode from every pore of his body. Well, I guess if you had two older brother's picking on you and taking things away from you all of the time you might lose it once in awhile too.

Evan is 6 years old and will be starting 1st grade. He has recently shared with me that he is very nervous about entering a new grade and leaving behind the comforts of kindergarten. I have tried very hard to encourage him to be brave and assure him that he is more than ready to take on the new rigorous schedule. I remember when I was in the 1st grade it was like what kindergarten is today. Kids are pushed much harder. I am not saying this is bad but I am not really saying this is good either. I sort of sit in the middle of this one.

Finally we have my eldest son Cairo. Cairo is so special in so many ways. I never met a kid who is as bright and creative as he is and when I say creative I am not joking. He writes wonderful stories with original illustrations and has many special ways to torment his brothers with glee in his eyes. Cairo is entering the Fourth grade and is 9 1/2 years old. He is also entering the tween years with his attitude, laziness, and talking back. If the tween years are like this with my son I can't imagine what it would be like with 4 girls. I know that with my personality I would take my 4 boys over all the drama of girls any day.

Well, that is a little insight of my life with 4 boys. I hope to blog and keep you in touch as I love, adore, and try to keep my sanity throughout the months to come.

Karen