Recent Blog Posts: Raising Bakersfield

Getting There

Tue, 24 Jun 2008 16:18:44 PDT

Education is a linchpin in my household. Both my wife and I place great value in betterment through education. My wife has her Master’s Degree, and I am within three courses of obtaining mine. We have very firm expectations that our son will attend school after college, but we will encourage him to attend any kind of schooling he desires (college, trade school, etc.). Growing-up it was always instilled that education was the key to our future. Of course, I wasn’t always the best or most motivated student.

Thinking about this makes me realize how much life has changed since high school. I remember back then spending a lot of time trying to do as little as possible. During my sophomore year I had truancy issues and a GPA to prove it. In my junior and senior years I became slightly more responsible, meaning I showed-up to school more, and I also spent more energy investment in obtaining good grades. An interesting phenomenon occurred toward graduation time in which I was given the award for top student from the English Department. This clearly came as a surprise to me as I didn't even know what an outline was until half way through my junior year. I suppose I just had a flare for things literary.

College wasn't something I had thought a lot about. At least, I hadn't really considered it for immediately after high school. At that time I sort of cast college into the vague "intermediate future" of 3-5 years hence. Approximately one week before the fall quarter started at CSUB I decided I’d give college a try. I was lucky enough to have a phone number for a brilliant department chair who whole heartedly assisted me in getting in. Then something magical happened. Where high school was social and transient, college was focused and tangible. I became diligent in labor despite being very poor and constantly on the verge of homelessness. I managed to graduate in just over three years and with a very decent GPA.

My wife was similar to me in her free spiritedness, but she developed focus quicker than I. In high school she began taking college courses, graduated early, and began her blitz through education. In just a few years she went from high school student to Master’s wielding woman. To highlight her iron will at one point she was working three jobs, attending graduate school, and was pregnant. I was there to encourage her when she became discouraged, and to study by her side through the thickest of quarters, but it was her will and determination that earned her diploma. Her tenacity in school impressed me beyond words and she earned more respect than I have ever given to anyone else.

As I near completion of my graduate degree I cannot help but think of the impact this accomplishment will have on my son. He will grow-up in a household with two educated parents. He will have parents that value hard work, commitment, determination, willpower, and pursuit of passionate activities. We will also have an understanding that his future belongs to him and he does not have to value the things that we do. We were maverick high school youths who became fanatic college students, but our hearts still beat with youthful rebellion. We will try to appreciate his epicurean whims as well as his stoic endeavors. In the end, the best thing that education can do for this family is provide a better platform from which to springboard into the future.

After delivery care

Tue, 24 Jun 2008 15:50:46 PDT

Did any of the moms on here have any help after they delivered? Nothing against if you did, you were lucky. One of my neighbors daughter had her 2nd baby in late May and had help around the house and with the older son for 3 weeks. I'm sorry but I was up doing my normal things around the house with an almost 3 year old within a few days of delivery, planning Halloween trick or treating, and my son's 3rd birthday party. My 2nd son was born on a Thursday, we came home on Friday and hubby went back to work on Monday, (or something like that I can't remember the exact day now) And Monday, (if the days are right) was Halloween, so I had Cole to get dressed and down to the church by 5:30, then back to my parents house for dinner and wait for the kids to come by for trick or treating. I just think some moms take it over board that they can't manage to take care of a newborn plus their other children without a months worth of grandma or auntie help. What are they going to do when one of the kids is sick or both kids are sick, have grandma move in til everyone is better? Both sets of my sons grandparents live within 2 miles of us and neither grandma's were over every day to help with the boys. Just passing an opinion, don't mean to offend anyone or cause any arguements.

Steam mop

Tue, 24 Jun 2008 15:27:11 PDT

Has anyone tried the steam mops? I think there are several out there, just wondering what the general opinion of them was. I know Costco has one in the store, but I don't know if it's the same one that I've seen advertised on TV.

This one's for her therapist in 20 years...

Tue, 24 Jun 2008 11:46:34 PDT

So, we’re doing our part to make our girl neurotic. For the most part, she’s a carefree, happy kid. Sure, she’s got her shy or cautious moments, but shy and cautious aren’t the same as neurotic. Here’s how we’re doing our part to put our kid on a shrink’s couch in a couple decades:

•Getting The Pumpkin to brush her teeth properly has always been a challenge. Usually presenting her with the alternative—getting brushed by mama or daddy—does the trick. And lately, she’s been enjoying brushing in time to mama’s rendition of “The Lonely Goatherd” from “The Sound of Music.” But sometimes, we do pull out the threats of holes in her teeth. As in, if you don’t brush, you’ll get holes in your teeth. And the passive-aggressive classic variation, “The Pumpkin doesn’t want to brush, okay, that’s okay, she wants holes in her teeth—let’s go to bed now.” So we pulled this the other night, actually getting her out of the tub (yes, she brushes in the tub during her bath), and she freaked. out. Started crying, wailing with exhaustion, “I don’t want holes in my teeth! I don’t want holes in my teeth!” Took a minute to calm her down enough to brush through the tears.

•We’re not always the best with the putting on of the sunscreen, but in a place like Bakersfield, we’ve gotta try. Somehow, I don’t think The Pumpkin’s ever gotten a sunburn yet (knock on wood). Since summer began, and with it our parade of triple digit temperatures [and please don’t say anything resembling “at least it’s a dry heat”], I’ve been applying sunscreen to her exposed skin when I drop her off at school. Okay, fine, the protective power probably runs out way before their afternoon jaunt outside, but still. She knows that sunscreen, or as she pronounces it, “sunscreem,” is to protect her skin from sunburn, even though she doesn’t know what that feels like. Well, the other day after a trip down south, I discovered that we’d left the tube that lives in the car at Grandma’s house. “My sunscreem! My sunscreem!” I tried to reassure her, tell her to come inside when she felt hot, stay in the shade. No dice. The first thing she said to one of her teachers when we walked in, voice full of sadness, was, “We left my sunscreem at my Grandma’s house.” That teacher, helpfully, offered to apply some of the kiddie sunscreen she had in her bag for her own child to our girl’s burnished skin. And I went and got another tube of sunscreen for the car.

•She’s less neurotic about this now, but when we first started putting her on her tricycle and riding around the neighborhood, I tried to get her to accept the uncomfortable Dora toddler helmet by telling her the story of my bicycle accident. I was in the 6th grade, miles from home, riding down a busy main street just so I could say I had gotten that far, and I swerved too quickly to avoid a car door and then get back to the curb, away from traffic. I lost two teeth—but, as I say in my cautionary tale, if I hadn’t been wearing a helmet, my head might’ve gotten split open. So, while she’ll tool around the backyard without the helmet now, in the beginning, my lesson worked too well. If I thought she didn’t need to gear all up because we weren’t going in the street, I’d try to get her to just get on without the helmet. Noooo! My helmet! Mama asks, “Why can’t you ride without your helmet, baby?” “Because my head will break open.” Way to instill the confidence there, daddy.

•For some reason, even though she’s fine on her own at school, when she’s with us, sometimes she still wants us to wipe her. “I need help!” she’ll call from down the hall. Of course, you never know when that’ll randomly alternate with the polar opposite: “I can do it all. by. myself!” Okaaay.... But anyway, back in the early days of potty-training, in order to impress upon her the importance of personal hygiene, I decided that the easiest way to make sure she cleaned herself was to tell her she had to wipe a certain number of times. Four times for poop, two times for pee. So, not that she actually follows this herself all the time, especially at school, but woe to the parent who, assessing the situation, decides that less than the required number of wipes is needed when called upon to “help.” “You only did one!” “That wasn’t four!” “You did it wrong!” Oy....

•On the cruise we recently went on, there were jumbo-sized dispenser of Purell-style hand sanitizer everywhere—on random walls, on moveable poles at the entrance to restaurants, at the top and bottom of the gangplank to shore. La dra. loved this. But if we ever tried to go to dinner without stopping at the dispenser—”My gel! My gel!” Like she was gonna get diptheria or something instantly if we didn’t give her some Purell.

So, what have you done to guarantee a lifetime of analysis for your little ones?

[crossposted from daddyinastrangeland.com]

Online Education - Bakersfield College

Tue, 24 Jun 2008 07:23:15 PDT

Does anyone on RB take online classes through Bakersfield College? I think I'm going to do it, but wanted to hear from anyone who has gone or is going that route. At first glance, BC seems to have a pretty extensive online offering. I've attended five colleges and graduated from none. Just not a classroom personality. Don't need a degree, but there is some cool stuff out there to learn that could be worked into my writing. I don't need to learn how to write, but I could increase my knowledge of different subjects. I love history, for instance, and already include a lot of it in my writing. I would love to do more.

I met a woman with a degree in Renaisance Literature. I thought "What a crazy degree!" But then I thought, "I could do a fun crazy degree!" I don't need a specific one for what I do, so I can just pick some off-the-wall degree that interests me. But I have to finish the good old AA first.

Exercise...Really??

Mon, 23 Jun 2008 20:48:44 PDT

Once I get out of my exercise routine, it takes me months to get back into it. Am I the only one? My husband knows that I want to exercise and so he asks me about it every once in a while - which is great - but also makes me feel guilty sometimes. But I need him to continue to remind me that it is important to me. I usually got up at 4:55 in the morning to do my 30 minute workout before I had to get ready for work. But that is just too early for me. So I am trying to think of a new time. In between seeing my kids, tutoring other children, my daily job - I'm just running out of hours in my day. It is so hard to get motivated by myself. Any ideas on how to gear up to exercise?? Any ideas are welcome.

Cloth Diapers Making a Comeback

Mon, 23 Jun 2008 20:25:44 PDT

I was so excited to see the story on cloth diapers this evening on the KGET news. I use cloth diapers on my children, and I feel a little bit like the wierd kid sometimes, as I have never actually met anyone outside of the internet who currently cloth diapers their child. But I know it is totally worth it for me. I really enjoy putting those comfortable and cute diapers on their bums, and I feel better knowing that I am not tossing piles of disposable diapers into the landfill to sit for hundreds of years. It is just a couple of extra loads of laundry a week, and while we do still use disposable diapers when we are out and about, we don't have to buy nearly as many as we were when we used disposables all of the time. So, yay! I know cloth is not for everyone, but I really enjoyed seeing a story that shows that it is not as hard/yucky/unattractive as many people think it is.

Here's a link to the story that KGET ran (but it's hosted on another NBC site): Cloth Diapers Making a Comeback

Away at camp...

Mon, 23 Jun 2008 17:21:41 PDT

Our older son, Eric, left for camp on Saturday. He is 11 and this is the first time he has been away at an actual camp. Sure it's only for a week and I do know that we have been apart for longer periods of time in the past. But this is not the same. This is way, way different. He isn't at a friends house or it's not us who are the ones that are gone (as it is when his father and I go on a lil' vacation trip). He is the one who is away from home. He is the one who is at a place where we can't call him whenever we want and we cant go and visit whenever we want. He is the one who is on an island that is only reachable by a ferry that stops running at 8pm. I admit, it was me who's idea this was and I am the one who signed him up. He was sorta reluctant to go at first. I understood that. I mean, he wouldn't know anyone at first. Him going showed that he was starting to grow up and be more independent (something that all parents hope for their kids but can also be a heartache in a way). Our lil' boy was not so lil' anymore. We made the drive down to Long Beach so he could catch the boat that was going to take him to the Catalina Junior Sea Camp. Oh, we knew he would have a blast and he did too. Waiting an hour or so for them to start boarding seemed to last forever. At first I was so glad that he was getting out of the house, away from the computer and his silly World of Warcraft game. But after a bit I started to ask myself what I was doing. I was sending him to a place where he didn't know anyone. I know if it was me I would be so scared and probably would have refused to go period. I wondered if he really didn't want to go. If he would have looked me in the eye and said he didn't want to go and beg me to take him home then I would have wrapped my arms around him and told him to run to the car. He never did that. Instead he acted like he was too old to hang with mom and dad, too old to let us give him too many hugs, and too old to allow us to show him how much we were going to worry about him. I know he is safe and I know he has made friends and I know that this was a good choice by us as his parents. He knows that we care about him and that we are so very proud of him and that we will miss him until he returns. He also knows that his lil' brother, James, will be right here waiting for him when he gets home (as he always is).

He's like a lil' fish

Mon, 23 Jun 2008 17:02:38 PDT

Living in a place that has really warm summers I thought it was very important to make sure that my 2 year old son, James, knew how to swim. I do know that 2 years old is really young so I wasn't expecting him to be ready to compete in the Summer Olympics this year but I did want him to get somewhat comfortable in water. I got him registered in a program that would teach him some survival techniques in case he fell into water. He would work 1-on1 with the instructor for 10 minutes each day, 5 days a week. I had never heard of this approach before so I wanted to give it a try. On the first day of lessons I got him all packed and ready and we made our way over to the private home that the lessons were being held at. I knew my son would be reluctant to go to this stranger, especially because she was in the water. He cried (as he did for that entire first week) but was holding his breath under water and floating on his back by the second day. We were so proud of him. We cheered like all the other parents did while their kids were in the water. That was our job. He is now in his 4th week of lessons (his last week). He has learned the technique that was taught to him. He swims under water, turns over on his back to breath and float, then turns over again to swim until he gets to the edge/stairs/etc. Every time we witness him doing this we get goosebumps, it is so amazing. We couldn't be more proud of our lil' boy. We know now that this was money well spent. The ability for a young child to be able to swim is priceless. I encourage all parents of young children to get their kids in the water. Get them comfortable around it. It could save their lives someday.

God uses kids to grow parents

Mon, 23 Jun 2008 15:09:41 PDT

So I was having a very peaceful little time this afternoon while Zoe was "resting." And I should know better. Usually there's an eerie silence ... where it's TOO quiet & usually that's when is something is up. Well today I was just hoping she was asleep & I thought how great since I was getting a lot done. Almost the full hour had passed & I stopped to go get something in my room. There she was, playing in the dirty mop water with an easter egg & squirt gun. So I have to stop & think how I will react in this situation. I know really her wanting to play is sweet, but it's not what she was supposed to be doing. She knew that wasn't the right thing to do & that was enough- she started crying. After some time in her room, she came out to say sorry. It's times like these where I think God gave us Zoe to help us grow. Sure we are gifted with her to help her grow, but sometimes I feel I have grown more than her these 3 1/2 years! Being mom has simplified & deepened me. You know what I'm saying?

Learning to swim

Mon, 23 Jun 2008 15:07:08 PDT

With the hot temps, we have been in the pool at our apt complex much more. Our little Z really loves the pool, but is VERY clingy. She will hold either the edge of the pool, sit on the steps, or cling to one of us if it is off of the first step in. Even if she is wearing a life jacket.

We have been working with her to show her how to swim, holding her and letting her kick and paddle. Yesterday, we finally started pulling away and letting her float on her own with the life jacket. I would stand JUST out of reach (the jacket keeps her floating just fine, head well above the water) and she would whine a lot until she could grab on again. But, after a long while out there, the whining went down, as her confidence went up. By the end, she was 'swimming' back and forth between me and Becky, and as soon as she would get to one of us, immediately want to swim back to the other.

It was so much fun watching her get more confident, but as silly as it sounds, a small part of me glimpsed the future. All the times ahead that she will become more independant, do more things by herself, eventually letting herself float much farther from her mommy and daddy.

I don't have to worry about that for a while, but I know time goes fast. At least I can always focus on the fact that I was there in the beginning, teaching her to swim in the first place.

Too Quick to Medicate?

Mon, 23 Jun 2008 11:14:18 PDT

I called my childrens' pediatrician's office at 8 a.m. this morning to make an appointment and they said they could fit all three of them in at 9 a.m. Seeing as we hadn't quite gotten ourselves ready for the day I had to really rush around to have us to the doctor's office in time.

My oldest son Andrew has very sensitive skin, excema, allergies, asthma - you name it. He went swimming on Sunday afternoon and his excema got much worse than it normally is. I've been applying Aquaphor, giving him Benadryl periodically and using Hydrocortisone all over his body. We recently switched his soap to Dove (recommended by doctors) and switched the type of sunscreen we were using. The rash is very itchy, so naturally he's scratching, which in turn is causing it to spread... and appear even worse. I also wanted his hearing re-tested. He had tubes put in both ears almost a year ago and recently has been asking us to repeat just about everything we say to him. I can't tell if he's just being a five year old and not paying much attention or if he is having problems with his ears again.

Kaitlynn has had a runny nose for a few days - nothing to rush her in for though - until this morning. She woke up with a croup-like cough, which unfortunately is one sickness that in my opinion she contracts way too often. Also, she walks and runs on her tiptoes all day every day so I've been worried how this might effect her feet, posture, back.. etc. In addition, it's causing the bottoms of her toes to have little tears and cuts in the creases. If and/or when they get bad enough, they start to bleed and she becomes one unhappy camper.

This was Mitchell's 4th visit to the doctor for the same reason. He's been developing dry spots on his body for at least the past two months. They pop up on various parts of his body, stay for a a week or so then disappear - until another makes an appearance. They are always in a circular shape so I was concerned that it could possibly be ringworm. Really, this appointment today was for a second opinion from a different doctor since I had been told previously that it was nothing to get worked up about and to just leave it alone.

We spent a little under 90 minutes at the doctor's office today. After all was said and done, what was recommended to to treat all of these ailments?? Absolutely nothing. I was told Andrew's rash wasn't that bad, his hearing test was normal, Kaitlynn just has a cold and her tiptoe walking is normal... and again, Mitchell's skin is just dry.

I finished the appointment irritated and frustrated because I didn't feel like I left with any real answers or helpful information. In addition to all of this, I came home to a message from my doctor's office. When I called back, they informed that in fact, my toe is not broken as my doctor originally thought it was and there is nothing that can be done at this point. I guess what I'm really wanting is a piece of paper, with the name of a magic medicine to fix everything! Which got me pondering on the way home: Is our society too quick to medicate? You're depressed, here's a pill. Your kid has a short attention span, it's ADD, here's a different pill. Got a cough? Have a suppressant. It was really hard for me to accept "wait and see" approach today. Why can't we just 'endure' instead of constantly rushing to 'fix' ? Obviously there are many situations where medication and treatments are warranted, but today, apparently ours wasn't one of them.

Summer Pics

Mon, 23 Jun 2008 09:26:20 PDT

Nothin to say today. Just wanted to show off my super-cool kids

The Newest Little Man

Mon, 23 Jun 2008 08:16:56 PDT

Our "overdue" baby arrived June 12, 2008 at 8:12 am. He was six days "overdue." For awhile I thought he would never come, but all day on the 11th I felt different. All of us moms know about our intuition. I told my husband that I think he's coming soon. I stayed up past midnight, then I finally decided to go to sleep. Sure enough an hour after having fallen asleep, my water broke.

This was my third time going into labor, so both my husband and I were fairly calm. We made the 2:00 am phone call to my parents who graciously came over to stay with our two kids. Then, we headed to the hospital. We settled into the hospital room and the doctor examined me and told me the baby would be here within a few hours. I was just beginning to feel light pain when I received my epidural. I commented to my husband, "Wow! This is going to be the easiest labor ever!" Then things changed...

Our "overdue" baby was still sleeping. He wasn't moving at all. This is not normal during contractions. I was given medicine to increase the contractions and to wake the baby. Still no movement. Much to my dismay, the doctor suggested a c-section to get the baby out quickly. I'd never had a c-section and didn't even consider having one with my third child, but I wasn't going to argue with the doctor. I wanted to do what was best for the baby, but the thought of the recovery and not being able to hold my 20 month old brought me to tears. Needless to say, I had a c-section and our baby was delivered quickly. He had a few breathing problems, but after a few hours in the NICU, he was fine. Our "overdue" baby is now known as our "sleepy" baby. He sleeps so well!

The recovery from the c-section gets better each day. I am able to care for the baby. He is so precious I am enjoying every minute of being with him. I miss holding my 20 month old, but he can now sit on my lap and he is such a big helper with his little brother. I've had plenty of rest and I think I needed that. The c-section has forced me to slow down a little. Again, things didn't go as planned, but everything has worked out fine.

Teeth at last!

Sun, 22 Jun 2008 19:43:18 PDT

Abigail has finally (she just passed the ten month mark) showed some signs of teeth coming through. I'm so excited! Even though her pediatrician tried to reassure by reminding me that no one has ever started college without teeth... I've been a little nervous. Her cousin (my sister's son, Nathan) is only six months old, and has teeth- my friend's daughter is a month older than Abby, and has a mouth full of teeth.

It's not official- you can feel it, kind of see it, and her grumpiness says it, too- but the promise is definitely there. Finally.

In other exciting news, my very patient husband has finally gotten me to decide on a layout for the website, and finished piecing it together. It is up and running, and the buttons actually work! www.leclairstudio.com

In not so exciting news, one of our goldfish, Oscar, passed away- we've had him for three years, and I'm sad he's gone. (I know it's kind of silly, but he was a great goldfish). We buried him under the orange tree in the yard... he'll be missed in the household.

mr.oscat @ the tehachapi library june 18th 2008

Sat, 21 Jun 2008 19:06:06 PDT

We played at the library in Tehachapi last Wednesday. What a great group of seriously well behaved kids (and adults too, i might add) We were truly impressed. Kris, from the library staff, tells us that they can draw up to 250 people for their Wednesday afternoon shows. Afterwards, we went to old town pizza for dinner (yum) and had a grand time . We cannot wait to go back. We posted some pictures in the scrapbook area of rb.com. btw - we're playing at the southwest branch in Bakersfield in July and can only hope for a repeat of this day. ---- olen (mr.oscat)

School Keepsakes (a.k.a. paper overload!)

Sat, 21 Jun 2008 15:00:33 PDT

At the kiddo's preschool last year, the kiddo would make at least two projects a day. She attended two monrings/week for about 40 weeks. Do the math - that's around 160 papers/projects that were sent home! I love my daughter, but there is no way I'm going to keep all this. Thankfully, her amazing teacher put together a portfolio and sent it home at the end of the year. But what am I going to do for the remainder of the kiddo's school years? I like the portfolio idea, but I know I wouldn't get around to doing it myself at the end of each year. Hmmm, I have one year to figure this out.

What do you do with all your child's/chilren's school papers and projects?

The baby moves!

Sat, 21 Jun 2008 13:37:29 PDT

On Tuesday, five days ago, I felt the baby move for the first time. At least, I thought I did. It felt like soft bubbles popping in my abdomen. Maybe it was gas, but maybe it wasn't. I was sitting at my desk when it happened.

Then each day since, in the morning as I lay in bed "waking up" with a granola bar and a book, I feel the same sensations. Each day they get stronger, and I know it's not gas! Yesterday morning it went on for about 10 minutes. "Are you doing somersaults down there?" I asked the baby.

But the best one was this morning. James spent the night and after I felt the first movement this morning, I put his hand on my abdomen. Suddenly I felt a big push. "Was that you?" I asked him. "No!" he said, with a big smile on his face. He felt it too! The baby totally responded to his hand. I asked him what it felt like, and he ran his finger along my forearm and said "Like it was doing this inside of you." Wow! What a special moment for us to share! And now I know for sure it isn't gas!

James took this photo of me Thursday night, marking the start of 18 weeks and the fifth month. He doesn't think I look any bigger than four weeks ago, but I sure feel bigger. It's almost time to get some new pants.

Devouring Books

Fri, 20 Jun 2008 22:22:05 PDT

My 8 year old is turning into quite the bookworm and it makes me so happy. Not only am I her Mom, I am an avid reader and lover of literature...and yet I felt I had failed her on some level because I didn't push her to read very early. I let her go at her own pace, which isn't a bad thing, but I also didn't help her enough in the beginning and so she kind of lost momentum...until 2nd grade when her wonderful teacher brought her up to speed.

Anyway, my goal for the summer was to get her to read, read, read. As a former library employee, I have always enrolled her, and now her sister, into their summer reading program, but this is the first year she is really reading on her own, and even motivating herself to do it. It does my heart good. She started a couple weeks ago and is already half way through the 10 books that are required. I don't think there's a better way for a kid to spend the afternoon,..okay, well, maybe there is, but reading is definitely on the top 10 list...

Walking For A Cure

Fri, 20 Jun 2008 20:38:52 PDT

Please allow me to introduce you to this special lil girl. Her name is Presley and she's 2 1/2 years old.

Presley is pretty much your typical 2 year old. She is the youngest daughter of my bestie . Presley loves to play with toys, she actually really enjoys dinosaurs and snakes, but also Barbies and ponies too. She does occasionally get mad at her parents or her older sister when things don't go her way but unlike most other children her age, her moods and actions are not always dictated soley by the things going on around her. You see, Presley has Type 1 diabetes . So more often than not, her moods and actions are actually being dictated by what's going on INSIDE of her. Presley was diagnosed with this horrible disease last summer, at the ripe young age of 18 months old. Her life, and her family's life, changed the instant those test results came back. No more carefree days of living with a toddler. Her mealtimes, her meals themselves, her daily activites, all have to be calculated exactly to determine how much insulin her body will need throughout the day and night. Many people think that Type 1 diabetes can be controlled by insulin. While insulin does keep people with type 1 diabetes alive, it is NOT a cure. Aside from the daily challenges of living with type 1 diabetes, there are many severe, often fatal, complications caused by the disease such as kidney failure, blindness, nerve damage, heart attacks and strokes.

I really could go on and on but you just won't get it unless you've lived it. And I pray you never have to "get it". But I am here to ask something of you, that I really really hope you'll consider.

This October, I will be joining my best friend, Presley, and their family, in taking part in the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation's Walk to Cure Diabetes. So I'm asking for support because now more than ever, we can make the cure a reality in Presley's lifetime!

Please visit my Walk Web page if you would like to donate online or see how close I am to reaching my personal goal of $1000: Presley's Blue Suede Shoe Crew

Addiction

Fri, 20 Jun 2008 20:32:19 PDT

Everyday (yes every weekends!) from 2-4pm you can go to SONIC and get your drinks for HALF OFF!
My family is soooo hooked on this lil deal :)
Anyone else?

Learning the Rules of Adult Friendships

Fri, 20 Jun 2008 20:26:39 PDT

I always had friends growing up. For as long as I can remember I had at least one Best Friend, sometimes more than one, at just about every point of my life.
I remember being very social. Yah I had attitude, there were girls I didn't like, or that didn't like me, but for the most part I was friends with just about everyone. And when given the choice, I would choose friends over family. Spending the night at friends house's, going to the mall or the movies. Anything. I loved going out with my friends, and in highschool, there were alot of us.
After graduating high school, we all went our seperate ways. We all still hung out occasionally but those times slowly faded. I started dating David in the fall and I knew pretty much right away that he was The One so I devoted ALOT of my time to him and our relationship. This meant spending even LESS time with my friends and MORE time with family, which turned out to be not so bad :)
Through the early years of our marriage we developed friends together, at church. With church changes, those friends faded too. When we had kids, we had friends that also had kids. But over the course of time and more church changes, those have also gone.
Now my husband can make friends with a brick wall in a matter of minutes and has no problem letting things roll off his back. But I know he is really hankering for some GUY friends that have the same interests as him these days.
I on the other hand I'm trying to decide where I stand on this whole Friends thing.
I have friends. I have my bestie. And others that I hang out with occasionally. And I'm fine with that. I don't feel the need to actively seek out more friends. Of course I wouldn't turn anyone away, but I often find myself feeling really ANTI-social. Does that make any sense?
Sometimes I wish it wasn't. I really wish we had a family or families where I was friends with the wife, David and the husband were friends, and our kids were friends. I think that would be alot of fun. It just hasn't happened yet. And even though I'm ok with that. I feel like I shouldn't be.
I think I am just really guarded now. I would much rather be by myself, with my family, than constantly with "friends" that use me, are fake with me, or suck me dry and give nothing in return. I don't have the energy anymore!

What do you think the Adult Rules of Friendship are?

Father's Day AKA Daddy's ride on the Emotional Rollercoaster

Fri, 20 Jun 2008 20:25:45 PDT

It was a Happy/Sad/Happy/Sad/Mad/Happy/Bummed/Happy Father's Day for my hubby. Yes he went through all of those emotions on Sunday. He woke up to a darling little breakfast of apple jacks (dry), some animal cookies, and a Christmas mug with OJ. Along with adorable handmade gifts and the morning paper. All brought in on a breakfast tray by his munchkins so that he could eat in bed. It really was pretty cute to watch.

After everyone was up I went to get him his REAL Father's Day breakfast - a fatty breakfast burrito from John's Burgers. His absolute fave. And while I was out on this errand, the emotional rollercoaster begin it's climb.
David had found a ticket to the Lakers playoff game for that night, for less than HALF of the normal going rate on EBAY. After a bit of discussion - because half price is still ALOT - we decide he's gonna go for it. Well he missed it. By seconds. Which of course sends him off on a hunt. He ends up finding one on StubHub but by the time he gets on the phone, that one is gone too.

Now he's way bummed and I'm like Dude do NOT mess with fate buddy! But of course he's dying now and he finds ANOTHER on on Ebay. Only it's an auction. So for an hour we participate in a bidding war....and WIN. My husband is peeing his pants.

We wait and wait for the seller to email him the ticket so that David can get on the road in time and he takes forever. Finally an email comes through and the seller says he LOST the ticket.

Seriously?

I personally think that maybe he just changed his mind but couldn't really say that because that's illegal in Ebay-land but we'll really never know. And because David was in a hurry to get the ticket, he paid through paypal immediately, which meant that now we had $XXX tied up so he wasn't able to attempt purchasing a ticket from someone else.

I really did feel bad for him. It would have been a dream come true. Possibly a once in a lifetime dream come true.

My poor hunny bunny. At least the Lakers one that night. Not that it did them much good :(
Good thing he has cute kids and an adoring wife huh? hehehe

Mommy was a Good Girl

Fri, 20 Jun 2008 18:53:51 PDT

I think it is fair to assume that all of us have our "things." You know, a certain way any given "thing" has to be done. For me, if I'm being honest, I have several things I have to have just so. One of those things is Play-Doh. As a child, I loved Play-Doh but would usually refrain from playing with anyone else's Play-Doh, even at school or church, because the world did not seem to rotate properly on its axis if a foul little child happened to mix the colors.

Two years ago, I bought Ethan the gigantic tub of Play-Doh at Costco. Something like twenty different colors. It was so many colors they included not just red, but dark red and brick red as well. Ethan was only two at the time. I showed him how we can do our very best to not mix the colors. Even by scraping off the tiny dried crumbs off before we play each time. I also showed him how it's just better to play with one color at a time. You know, resist temptation.

For good reason, he never seemed to enjoy himself under mommy's regime. Well, there was that one time during our bout of potty training where he seemed overly excited after I showed him how to roll the Play-Doh. I found him at the table holding two rolled out pieces of dough, which he referred to as Mr. and Mrs. Turd. He actually imprinted facial features on them. The happy couple was always smiling. Ethan was potty trained shortly thereafter.

But, other than that incident, he's never really asked for the Play-Doh set to come back out until recently. Figuring he was a big enough boy to play unsupervised, I found to my great horror a half hour later that he had mixed all the colors to a dull brown. Before I got any grey hairs over it, I remembered that fostering his imagination is my most important role and my obsessive ness on matters of Play-Doh did not need to be re-introduced when he was having so much fun. I ground my teeth, I tapped my feet insistently, and I even sweated a bit. But, I said nothing.

After all, Ethan already has his own "things." That one is pretty obvious by the straight row of stuffed animals laying head to foot margining his bed at all times.

Weight Loss Week #3

Fri, 20 Jun 2008 14:58:13 PDT

Some really cool things happened this week!

#1 - You may recall in an earlier posting this week, that I said it would be a miracle from God Himself if I gained less than two pounds. The Almighty One came through for me this week - I LOST 0.8 pounds! If my body can do that when I eat terribly, just think of what I can accomplish if I stay on program?? That is my inspration for keeping myself on the right track this week.

#2 - After I had made my way through the Weigh-In line at the Weight Watchers meeting this morning, the leader (Nancy) says to me " Guess who I've been talking about all week at my meetings?" Well, the answer was me. A fellow Weight Watchers member brought her a copy of my original weight loss blog that had been published in the Californian. I had no clue that my blog ever really made it there, so it was nice to see a hard copy!

#3 - I am officially able to say that I have lost ALL my 3rd baby weight! I'm 41 pounds lighter than I was on August 28th when I gave birth to our 7 pound, 2 ounce Mitchell Allen. 21 pounds to go until I'm "normal" and about 30 or so to go until I get to my ultimate goal.

It's going to be a long but exciting (and hopefully not TOO agonizing) road!!

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Fri, 20 Jun 2008 10:58:57 PDT

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6 year old son's questions...about dying.

Fri, 20 Jun 2008 08:32:54 PDT

I knew it was bound to come up sooner or later, especially since my oldest, who is 6 now, is very inquisitive. My grandmother (who was 94 and I was very close to) passed away in December this past year. She was definitely ready to move on, and had been preparing for at least a year or two. She was at home, and very coherent mentally. She recognized us all and we all made our rounds sitting by her bed and hearing "I love you" and all of the advice she wanted to give us...as long as she could. My hubby and I took the boys to see great-grandma one last time on Christmas day, and she was still doing well and sitting up in her chair. Both boys were a little confused and didn't quite know what to make of it. Once my grandma passed, we decided that the kids should stay with a family friend the day of the service, I didn't want my kids to remember their great-grandma in her casket lying still. I wanted them to remember her full of life and smiling at them. So, now that we are in the midst of cleaning out her house and going through things - there have been lots of questions and tears from the oldest. Colby has the concept that she won't be with us any longer, and that she died and went to heaven with Jesus....but, he still is not quite sure when we knew she died and why didn't Jesus send her back to be with him? He has also asked many questions about his great-grandfather - my grandma's husband, who passed away before we got married. I have tried to explain the facts of living and dying to my 6 year old without scaring him or without giving him too much information...but, I am not quite sure what else to do....

So, my question is this...does anyone have some good reading material that would help me deal with this issue with a little more knowledge on a kids level? How about some experience from someone who has already been through this and can give me some suggestions for what to say, read or books to read together? My grandmother had Hoffman Hospice to help out at the end, and I know that they have a grief group - but, I am not sure if that is what he needs. He really just has tons of questions...what 6 year old doesn't?

Fun at Lake Isabella

Thu, 19 Jun 2008 22:48:42 PDT

We went out on the lake with my brother and sis-in-law in their new boat today. I wasn't sure what to expect from my kiddoes, but they did wonderfully. The water was smooth as glass, and we had a great time watching my dad, brother, and father-in-law ski, wakeboard, and "surf" behind the boat. My daughter kept falling asleep every time the boat was running consistently for more than a few minutes, and my son kept telling everyone he wanted the boat to go faster. He also really wanted to get out into the water, but when we took him for a swim he didn't really like it because the life jacket held him up differently than the water wings he is used to in our pool at home. The kids were exhausted in the afternoon and slept like rocks in the car on the way home. :) It was a fun day today.

Being too Trusting on Safety

Thu, 19 Jun 2008 21:54:20 PDT

I'm severely confused on how some parents take their child's safety for granted. The other day I was at the park and had struck up a conversation with a fellow mom, whom I had never met before. She said she was going to go into the recreation center and said nothing else. Leaving her child unattended at the park for almost fifteen minutes.

Of course, I kept an eye on her child. Though she didn't ask me to do it, I felt obligated to make sure he stayed safe. But, she didn't know me from anyone. The next day, I happened by one of the elementary schools getting out at noon from summer school. Child after child after child walking home alone. They weren't even pairing up; every child fending for themselves. I understand that many parents are at work when their kids get out of school, but there has to be a better way than letting them walk home alone.

My mother taught me to trust no one and she never let us do much without her eye constantly on us. A bit overprotective, so I used to think when I was growing up. Yet, she did manage to raise four children without even one of them getting lost, hurt, or innappropriately approached. As a mother now myself, I'm thankful for the example. My children won't be walking home by themselves, nor left to play on a playground while I disappear inside. The way I see it, I only get one chance. If I mess up and take my children's safety for granted, even once, it could mean the end of my child.

The Role of Fatherhood

Thu, 19 Jun 2008 08:53:09 PDT

Father’s Day came and went, but with it my thoughts have been turning to the role of being a Father. I didn’t have a close relationship with my father and he passed away while I was in high school. The role expectations I have for fathers must therefore come from media and literature. This can be a bit of a frightening concept as when you actually think about father role models there is a lot left to be desired. Still, I came-up with what I think is a useful list of a few notable fathers and what I can gain from examining them.

Character	Advantages	Drawbacks
Odysseus	Warrior, adventurer, wealthy, loyal wife	Absentee father
Ward Cleaver	Sagely advisor, happy marriage, middle class, stable job, educated, good hygiene	Uninvolved father, smoker
Al Bundy	Present for family, loves his wife, works hard	Sarcastic, alcoholic, depressed, poor hygiene
"Cliff" Huxtable	Sagely advisor, loves his family, upper-middle class, funny, educated	Controlling
Denethor II	Last ruling Steward of Gondor, influential, wealthy, friendly to hobbits	Played favorites, suicidal, obsessive, poor hygiene

If I extrapolate from the table above I think I end up with basically the following results for the kind of father I should be:

Character	Advantages
Noahj	Sagely advisor, loving father, loving husband, hard worker, educated, wealthy, friendly to hobbits.

And, of course, here are some methods to avoid the pitfalls:

Character	Overcoming Drawbacks
Noahj	Shower regularly, brush teeth, try not to travel too far or read the newspaper too much, give advice but don’t control, love my children equally (if I have more than one), and relax.

Please feel free to add any thoughts or characters you think would help me in evaluating the role of fatherhood.

My new job

Thu, 19 Jun 2008 07:54:13 PDT

I had an appt. with the local real estate office yesterday, turned into a 3 hour appt. Since my license hasn't been issued yet I can't officially work in the office, but I can watch and learn how the office runs and the paperwork and go on a few calls with the 2 agents. And since I'm having surgery in 3 weeks and will be out of commission for about 3-4 weeks, I'll start working "full-time" probably in August when Cole starts school. I have my own desk which is going to have to be fixed, it's supposed to be an "L" shaped desk but right now it's a straight desk with the middle section sitting taller than the rest of the desk. I get the option of facing the kitchen area or the wall, I can't see the front door from my desk, but considering it's such a small office that's not a big deal. I'm going to have Brian look at the desk and see if he can fix it to make it "L" shaped and move it around to make it flow better if possible.

Brian bought me this really pretty silver desk clock for Valentine's Day a couple years ago, and now I finally get to put it on my desk, it's been in our bathroom all this time - great place for a silver clock don't you think?!!!

Breakfast time - hopefully I'll be back later when the boys take their naps.

Have a great day!

BFFs?

Thu, 19 Jun 2008 07:40:53 PDT

Here's my dilemma, or at least the perceived one. Layton had a best friend in Pre-school, Paul. He's not in pre-school anymore, will never go to the same school as Paul, does not go to the same church as Paul, and unless I make an effort, he will never see Paul. BUT he still talks about him, and asks when he can go to his house. Paul's dad and I have made the occasional effort to get them together, but I think he must feel the same way. Layton and Paul have both made new BFFs in kindergarten and they likely will make more each year, adding to the list of play-date partners and birthday party invitees until Layton has more friends than I do (already coming up on that mileston).

I just don't have the time to make arrangements with all of them. So do I not mention Paul anymore and encourage interraction with his current friends? It seems the easy answer is yes, BUT he still talks about Paul and the couple times they've seen each other since pre-school, they hug and get really excited. Is a couple times a year even worth it? Do I have to make time for more often, on top of his twice a week park days with his current friends?

There needs to be about ten days in a week.

Graduation Speeches

Wed, 18 Jun 2008 16:36:08 PDT

I'm not really big on graduation ceremonies, especially graduation speeches. They just take entirely too long. However, if you read my blog, you know that our family did attend the C.S.U.B. graduation a little over a week ago because my lovely little sister graduated. We are so very proud of her, and we were more than happy to attend to celebrate with her. We were more than willing to applaud the "you are the future" speeches, but to our surprise one speech was unique, unusual and bordering on uncalled for.

I'm not sure who invited Bill Thomas to speak, but I'm guessing he won't be invited back. At least I hope not. Or if he is invited back, someone needs to proof his speech. Why? Because he delivered a doom and gloom graduation speech. Here's what many people I spoke with walked away with: your future stinks; you're going to be poor as dirt; good luck 'cause you're going to need it. Now, he might have sprinkled a few positives in there, but the negatives were so glaring! Good thing most of the graduates don't pay attention to the speeches (instead they are busy messin' and goofin' and texting friends and family).

The speech didn't put a damper on our party. We had our lawn chairs out, drank our coffee and read the paper (that's for you, Bakersfield Californian). We chit chatted with our friends, and I waited for my sis to walk across the stage. It was a picture perfect day, and we celebrated our graduate. B.T. can't hang a cloud over our day nor my sister's future. Her future is as bright as the light that shines through her - that' pretty darn bright!

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Wed, 18 Jun 2008 16:23:25 PDT

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Life Lessons

Wed, 18 Jun 2008 13:57:09 PDT

Recently I posted about the kiddo and her developing ability to express herself and ask questions that I sometimes don't know how to answer. She's asked questions about reproduction and Granny's poor health. She pretended her imaginary friend died after she heard that one of her friends had truly passed away. I'm sure she's seen me shed a few tears this last week. Sometimes she tells me she is sad. Yes, circumstances have been a little tough lately, and the kiddo knows it and has seen it.

In the midst of all this, here is what we want the kiddo to learn.

We'd rather go through these times with God than without Him.
We are called to heal the sick and raise the dead. The kiddo didn't get to participate in the latter because she is young, but she saw her mama praying like a maniac this week - praying like I'd want others to pray for my family member. And yes, I said raise the dead - we don't get to leave that part out. We keep goin' for "on earth as it is in heaven" and we don't stop.
It is not God's will that her young friend is gone. That might go against what some believe, but, heh, we just don't see a young life lost as somethin' Jesus would jive with.
Questions are good, and it's okay to have unanswered questions. But as our pastor says, we don't let those questions drag us down.
Also, God can win with any hand; He can win with a pair of twos - another good one courtesy of our wise pastor.
We don't live in discouragement. It never helps us and it never will.
We love and we love and we love. We love those who are difficult, who are sick, who are mourning . . ..
We don't live in fear. Perfect love casts out all fear. So, we reside in our Father's love and operate out of that.
We live as a community, a body, and we make sacrifices for each other. We come together in times of celebration and sadness. We help each other.

So, here we are. Our little friend is buried, our Granny is recovering the best she can from her latest illness, and we keep on truckin' on together, with love and hope and a whole lot of prayer.

Summer bed time routine

Wed, 18 Jun 2008 09:25:27 PDT

This question is for the parents with school age children - do you keep your kids on the same bed time routine during the summer as if they were getting up and ready for school in the morning? We've been struggling with Cole's bed time here lately and I don't know if I should lighten up and let him stay up til 8:30 or go to bed at 8 o'clock. Last night he was up until 9:30 watching cartoons while daddy and I watched a movie in our bedroom and the little one slept between us. Now mommy is grumpy today, I have a playdate scheduled for 10am at my house, then an appt. with the local broker to go to work as a real estate agent, and a ton of sponsorship money to pick up for the 4H club today - not a good day for mommy to be grumpy.

But that's off the original subject - I need a 2nd or 3rd blog for my grumpiness today. Cole starts school in 6 weeks - am I being to uptight for making him go to bed early all through summer? Since we don't have doors on the boys bedroom upstairs, they hear everything that goes on downstairs, so Brian and I end up in bed at 8:15 or 8:30 so we can shut our bedroom door and watch TV without bothering the boys.

The Milestones Never End

Wed, 18 Jun 2008 08:31:47 PDT

Monday evening the kiddo tackled another milestone challenge. She spelled a couple of words: dad & bits. Her furrowed little brows indicated her deep level of concentration. Our wide eyes indicated our surprise! Now ask her to do it again, and she'll mess with you. And her enthusiasm to write her letters - zip. She did this with potty training, too. She knew how to do it, she was ready, but she just didn't want to. The kid likes to tease us with a small demonstration of her skills, and then play hard to teach.

My Dad is a legend in my mind...

Tue, 17 Jun 2008 23:14:20 PDT

I didn't forget Dad, I just got preoccupied, as I so often do in the midst of raising kids, and forgot to post this on Sunday when I should have...but better late than never, right?

My Dad is an icon. His family came to California from Oklahoma during the Dust Bowl and they lived near Weed Patch Camp for several years in true Steinbeck-ian style. He picked cotton and other crops to help contribute to his family's income and was the first of his siblings to finish High School and the only one to graduate college. He graduated from Arvin High School and later went back to work at the Probation Department in the town where he'd been raised. He served in the Air Force during the Korean war, and later in the Naval Reserves, and even got a Master's Degree, all while providing for his family.

I was thinking about him the other day, because I just started back to school again myself, and I was wondering how he found the time to work 40+ hours a week and still do his homework. I guess he has my Mom to thank a little bit for that. She held down the fort while he was away, but still, that was a lot for him to take on. But that's just how he is--a hard worker. He has always been a role model for me. Intelligent and wise. Gentle and kind. He has an integrity sadly lacking from a lot of men these days. My younger sister and I joke that he set the bar too high and that's why we can't find men who measure up. Although he pretends to be anti-social, whenever people show up at the house he will talk their ear off telling all his wonderful stories. I told him recently that I want to make a video of him talking about his life, because I don't want to lose the rich oral history he has to pass down. Even though I've heard some of the stories a hundred times, I'm afraid I'll forget them or re-tell them wrong.

Anyway, needless to say I am proud of him and so blessed to have him as my Dad and my friend. Happy Father's Day, Dad, a couple days late.

A Generational Conflict

Tue, 17 Jun 2008 22:03:42 PDT

On Father's Day, my husband got to pick out his favorite dessert for me to make. Upon it's completion I let him take a gander at it and then said, "do you mind splitting it with my folks so we can celebrate father's day with my dad?" He grimmaced a bit. Not because he dislikes my parents, but because he's not what you'd call a willing sharer when it comes to my desserts.

I told him that it was his day and he could make the ultimate decision. I figured even though my own father was well deserving of some 'sweet' recognition, it was Charles who is currently waking up at six in the morning to change a dirty diaper; my dad hasn't changed one in almost thirty years. Of course, Charles didn't mind sharing or going over to my parent's house.

And, somehow, that topic came up again at my dad's house. Who is more deserving of tribute on father's day? The fathers who have already raised their children or the fathers who are currently in the process of raising their children? My dad's point of view is that since his job is done, and was done successfully, the majority of tribute should be aimed at him. My husband's and my point of view was that father's day is a respite for the dads who are knee deep in wants and needs at the present. A break from diapers, a break from fixing toys, and a break from waking up early. Or to put it a different way, is father's day a tribute to achievement or a break from the grind? I think it's both.

Maybe the difference in opinion only really boiled down to who would get the rest of the trifle I had made. No argument there, it was going to be me.

Weight Loss, Week #2 and beyond

Tue, 17 Jun 2008 21:36:57 PDT

Second Week, Weight Loss - 0.8 pounds. Blech. Much lower than the first week, which was expected. I like to lose at least a pound a week, but a loss is a loss, no?

The "Beyond" part - Where the heck did my willpower go this weekend? Right out the window... and took my motivation with it. We were out of town Friday through Sunday. On Friday night at my Grandfather's house, dinner was served. Baked chicken with steamed veggies and water would have been ideal. Instead it was Pizza from "The Greasiest Pizza Place in Hacienda Heights, Ca.", with salad covered in cheese, croutons and REGULAR (gasp!) Ranch dressing, plus Ruffles with Ranch and tortilla chips with salsa on the side.

Saturday would be better!! Until the person we were staying with (my sister) brought home Enteman's donuts and donut holes for breakfast. She always does this as a treat for my children whenever we stay there.. but that's where the picture gets fuzzy for me sometimes..... it's supposed to be for the children. We had our usual lunch at Mcd's as we always do with my Aunt on Saturday's when we're back at home. I did well, a side salad with light dressing, a snack wrap and a Diet Coke. Then our little playdate with my cousins started to run a longer than expected and I got hungry.... again. I ate two chocolate chip cookies - BAD CHRISTINA! For dinner was a kidless meal at no place other than The Cheesecake Factory! YUMMY. I knew they had "Weight Management Salads", but in honor of me feeling bad for missing the MNO at Heather's, I opted for a Pineapple Mojito, an Avocado Egg Roll, a Tex Mex Egg Roll, the Baja Chicken Tacos with Avocado Cream (bad word when dieting!) sauce which included rice and beans, a side salad and a few bites of my sister's Spicy Cashew Chicken and my other sister's Madeira Chicken. (feeling hungry right now) .. Oh.. and don't forget the bread baskets.

Okay - so Sunday was a BBQ - GRILLED food, can't be too bad right? Well, for those who know me well enough (which I don't think is anyone on this site ) since I'm not a big meat eater, grilled meat means pretty much nothing to me. I want the sides. So my meal consisted of jalapeno cheese bread, a southwest veggie salad, breadsticks with red peper sauce (anyone seeing a theme here with bread?) some cheese, salad with non-diet dressing on it, potato salad.. I could go on, but I won't. I feel guilty enough as it is. I wasn't planning on having dessert (not big on sweets) but my Stepmom brought me an already cut (and giant) piece of chocolate coffee cake, and heck.. Father's Day only comes once a year, right? GRRRRR. Maybe she's trying to sabotage me.. yah .. that's it ;)

So Monday was my new start.. but it just didn't happen. I was tempted by brownies at the park playdate, Doritos at lunch .. and unfortunately cooking didn't happen last night so it was Del Taco for dinner, where I didn't hold back. Today I actually did really well, until my husband suggested McDonald's for dessert. Will it ever end??? As terrible as I've been this week, I am going to attend my Weight Watchers meeting this Friday and face the music. If I gained anything less than two pounds, it will have been a miracle from God Himself.

Wow. What a novel. Guess I'm having a bit of "diet guilt" tonight. Tomorrow is a new day and I'm starting over (once again). Please send some "Make Christina's appetite tiny" waves over my way for the next few days.

How to say no.

Tue, 17 Jun 2008 21:17:39 PDT

When Summer was just on the horizon, I was excited for a bit of a lighter schedule, even though in the back of my head, I knew that wasn't going to happen. Now, with all these great playdates going on with the Meetup group, plus our other friends we spend time with, then of course swimming lessons, gymnastics and Weight Watchers meetings, not to mention grocery shopping, doctor's appointments, errand running and taking care of the house.... I feel as if I've lost my mind. Yet, do I every say no?? No. I don't. I think of how much fun my children would have at the pool, how excited they would be to see a movie at the park or the great relief I get from actual adult conversation, and I just can't turn it down. Once we're home for afternoon naps, I run around like a mad woman trying to get laundry put away, breakfast dishes washed and food put together for dinner. I need to take a stand against myself!!!

Church!

Tue, 17 Jun 2008 09:42:34 PDT

I've noticed a lot of mentions of church in several blogs. That's actually one of the things that was attractive about Bakersfield when we were looking at places to move to, was that there seemed to be a church on every corner.

I was wondering this morning what churches were represented here on RB. We are sort of splitting time right now. We are members at Christ's Church of the Valley, but we are working with the new church plant, Kaleo Fellowship which CCV is supporting.

Where do you all go?

Earth Mama Wannabe

Tue, 17 Jun 2008 00:16:12 PDT

There is this idealistic part of me that wants to be an earth mother, living on a big piece of land with 10 kids. Unfortunately the logistics just never lined up. Rocky marriage, lack of patience for the two kids I do have, and of course, the land. Anyway, I try to be content within my current circumstances, but most days I feel like I'm still trying to decide what I want to be when I grow up. Mom is my favorite job to date, and the only one I really want to do full time, but unfortunately the currency in which I'm paid isn't accepted at most stores. Although whoever said your good looks won't get you anything never met my girls. Their cuteness has gotten them free stuff on more than one occasion. My point here,...I'm not sure. Other than, life is what we make of it and idealism and reality have to meet somewhere in the middle. Most of all I try to enjoy the ride, savor it, because I know it will go by in the blink of an eye...

Nostalgia

Mon, 16 Jun 2008 16:38:24 PDT

Oh, nostalgia. It came for a visit today when all I wanted to do was to put the laundry away. The baby is almost four months old and it was time to move through the newborn clothes to the next size up. I had a box ready to put the old away in, to get it ready to be sold at the next baby items consignment sale. I didn't realize it would be so hard.

It wasn't just Aidan's clothes. It was a combination of both all the new items I had bought for him and the best of the best of his older brother's outfits from almost four years earlier. When I put my older son's clothes in a box four years ago, I knew I was safekeeping them, storing them for the next bundle of boy that I innately knew would eventually bless my little life.

But, this time, it was different. There aren't going to be any more babies in this house, and I am likely to never see these tiny onesies and rompers again. They are getting boxed up to depart forever and I was torn. Each piece has a memory. I can't, for the life of me, recall what exact memory goes with each piece. I simply have this fuzzy little notion that goodness, joy, and love are somehow interwoven in each outfit. Like the blue sleeping gown that both of my sons wore. It looked so good against their blue eyes, those extra-long lashes, I just couldn't put it in the box. Nothing special happened when they wore this gown, but I had to keep it. I knew there was something about it.

Maybe it was on their little bodies when I fell in love with them. Maybe they wore it when I whispered in their ears for the first time that I'd die for them. Maybe I spent twenty minutes trying to spot treat either poop or throw-up on it in the middle of one night, realizing for the first time that all my labor is well worth it. I don't know which one of these things it might have been. May have been all of them. Maybe none of them. But I plan on keeping that gown.

It is a symbol of love only a parent knows, a piece of time that will remain precious even when I am old and alone. And now, the gown has a new meaning. Not of the perfect and small bodies that once were clothed in it, but of the realization that being a parent comes with a price. That at some point in time, whether we like it or not, we have to say goodbye. Not to everything, but most of it.

Fathers' Day is the best nap of the year

Mon, 16 Jun 2008 12:50:43 PDT

Had a great Fathers' Day yesterday. I would post pictures, but I am the family photographer and I took a break from most duties yesterday. Layton gave me a tennis racket, which is cool because he just got one for his tennis camp and now we can play together. Miss Hollywood gave me a new Ted Dekker book. He's one of my favorite authors.

We spent the day at church and then at my parents' house, eating, watching Dale Jr. get his first win in two years, watching the Angels blank the Braves, and of course napping.

The cool thing about the Fathers' Day nap, is that it is pretty much goes uninterrupted. On every other day of the year, naps are hard to squeeze in with all the usual chaos that is fatherhood.

Thank you Layton and Holly, and of course Jill, who made me a proud father in the first place!

Father's Day

Mon, 16 Jun 2008 11:30:46 PDT

Amidst all the hubbub yesterday of shopping and getting ready for a friend's barbecue, James and I took a few quiet moments to appreciate HIM for being a wonderful friend, companion and future father. He has been there for me every step so far, and I know he'll continue to be until we are no long on this earth. Even though we are not married and this pregnancy was a huge surprise, he is committed to being the best dad he possibly can to this baby. I trust him 100 percent and I am so glad to be creating a family with him.

Since he's always reading my "What to Expect When Expecting" book, I got him his own version from Dad's point of view: "The Expectant Father." He opened it to a page about how to pick baby names. It had a great idea: Each parent lists 10 favorite names and then swaps for the other to cross off names he/she doesn't like. Then keep doing that until you end up with a list you both like. Then narrow it down from there. We are not going to think about names until we know what sex the baby is. The ultrasound is July 7, so it's not that far off! James has a gut instinct it's a girl. Since the father's chromosome determines the sex, maybe he knows something I don't. I don't have an instinct either way.

I also talked to my father last night and got to share the news of my pregnancy with him. I was waiting for Father's Day to surprise him, and, like everyone who hears the news for the first time, he was very surprised. But he and my stepmom are very happy for me and excited to have another grandchild on the way. (One of my stepbrothers has four kids already!)

To all you fathers out there, Happy Father's Day!

How was your Father's Day?

Mon, 16 Jun 2008 11:17:38 PDT

I hope that everyone had a great time celebrating the fathers in their lives yesterday.

We drove down to my paternal grandmother's house for our annual backyard picnic, which was started in memory of my grandfather, who passed away near Father's Day 11 years ago. It was a full house--my grandmother, my parents, my dad's brother and his kids, my uncle's best friend who's sort of like another brother, my wife's parents, my dad's cousins and their families, and us. It was nice and cool, compared to Bakersfield, and we spent a leisurely evening hanging out and eating. Living as we do at least 2 hours away from family, The Pumpkin loves every second she gets to spend with any of her grandparents, and it shows. Watching her with them, and with the rest of the family, seeing the joy and love on her face--that's my Father's Day gift, and luckily I don't have to wait to get it just once a year.

How did you spend your Father's Day? Check out NoahJ's journal entry, and post your own. Also, upload photos of your celebrations to our scrapbooks (we're always looking for great photos to reprint in our monthly newsletter!) and share the love!

Need everyones help

Mon, 16 Jun 2008 08:50:01 PDT

Hey everyone. I wonder if you might be willing to do something for me. The Z-Rock has been entered into a competition with Parenting magazine. If you have a second, could you help us out? Just click on the link:

http://www.parents.com/app/sharemy/photoDetails.jsp?photoId=196501148&fromSearch=

There are 2 things you can do there. Above the picture, you can click on the word 'recommendation' and to the left of that is a set of stars you can click as a rating (we won't stop you from clicking 5). Keep in mind, you can do this for each one of the photos.

Who knows, maybe if she wins and gets in the magazine, we can even drop a plug for Raising Bakersfield!!

Thanks everyone!

The Day After Father's Day

Mon, 16 Jun 2008 08:45:49 PDT

Today is the day after Father's Day. To me this day is sort of like the day after Christmas. The main difference is that instead of tangible gifts I have wonder memories to enjoy. Yesterday was a great day for me. I am a stay-at-home dad so the script is a little flipped. I make breakfast, lunch and dinner, I mop, I scrub toilets and bathtubs, and about the four million other tasks it takes to keep our home in working order. But, not yesterday. My wife really came through and took care of everything for the day. She baked a scrumptious cake for breakfast, read me a love letter she had written me, we went to the Thunder Run motorcycle event at the Fair Grounds, enjoyed Sonic for lunch, she cooked my favorit dish for diner (usually my speciality but after nearly a decade together she has mastered it as well), then she treated me to a special evening of a spa (complete with bath and massage). I have to say to me there is nothing on this Earth better than my beautiful wife showing her love by giving of her own time and energy to craft a day such as that. Other men might like to go golfing, watch sports, hang-out in the garage with their tools. Me, on a day like yesterday, I couldn't image a better way to spend my time than with my son and my wife. Now it is the day after Father's Day, and today I'm not wearing a new tie, new shirt, new slacks, or a new watch; today I'm wearing a huge smile and a warmed heart that I'll proudly wear-out until next Father's Day.

Bunkbed - The Final Chapter

Sun, 15 Jun 2008 08:43:12 PDT

Layton's bunkbed is finished! Sort of, maybe, almost, not really, but as close as it is going to get for now.

Layton loves it. I can see little flaws here and there, but Layton is the final judge and he is thrilled. So am I.

The only thing not in the pictures yet is his complete train set-up on the bottom bunk. We knew he was getting more train stuff for his birthday, so that addition will be made this week!