Recent Blog Posts: Raising Bakersfield

birthday weekend

Tue, 07 Oct 2008 08:25:26 PDT

After searching long and hard to find a place to celebrate my daughters 9Th birthday, she finally came to the conclusion that she wanted to have it at the beach. That saved me a lot of hassle with putting together a party. Worrying about parents not RSVPing, or kids not showing up, or to many kids showing up. We went threw this last year on her birthday, we handed out 40 invitations, I rented space at a park, 2 jumpers, a face painter (she also made balloons). We had spent a lot of money on games, food, drinks. By the end of the party I was going back home with so much food, we gave out most of the drinks, I almost had more of my family and personal friends there with their kids, then kids she invited from school. almost no parents RSVP, I was tracking the parents down several days before the party to find out if they were coming. The kids that did go, they did not RSVP, only a few. That really got to me. Anyway her party last year was still lots of fun, but at least this year I didn't have to worry about all of that.

We left to the beach on Thursday night, we went to San Luis Obispo, Pismo, and Avila beach, and came back late Sunday evening. We had so much fun, we took her to all her fav restaurants out there, We went shopping at some stores, we went swimming in the pool at the hotel at night. Would have been nice to see the stars but it was very gloomy/cloudy while we were there. Then it also rained Saturday morning to mid afternoon. That late afternoon on Saturday, a couple was getting married on the beach. They had a good size wedding. Part of the beach was completely blocked off. It was nice to watch them.

I had taken the left over silly string that I had used on her Thursday morning. I gave a bottle to her dad and I had the other. After she got out of the bathroom we sprayed her down with what was left over, while singing happy birthday. She loved that! I did have to leave a good tip for the maid because that stuff is always a pain to clean up. But we did clean what we could without a vacuum. Later that day when the rain cleared we went to a petting zoo/farmers market. We had a ton of fun there feeding the animals. The food was great, very fresh. I would recommend this place to anyone going to Avila. Great place for kids and adults.

So this was her birthday weekend. We left feeling very relaxed and rejuvenated. Everyone had lots of fun and we made great memories. My daughter was very happy.

Book Study starting tonight!!

Mon, 06 Oct 2008 16:27:49 PDT

HEY MOMS--

There is a book study starting tonight & I wanted to invite you all. Here's the link: http://bakomomsbookst... We are going to set the foundation tonight & really just enjoy each other's company. I'll have a sign that reads-- MOMS BOOK STUDY-- so we know who each other is! See you there (or hope to anyways)!

Hope you are all enjoying this weather change-- glorious!!

One Year

Mon, 06 Oct 2008 13:22:58 PDT

It was on October 3 of last year that my son, Samuel, was diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome. Since then he has also been diagnosed with High Functioning Autism, which some say is interchangeable, others say no, the two are quite different.

I went through my writings for the year and pulled out some of the pieces that told much of Sam's (and my) story of the past year.

To honor that journey, I thought I would share those writings here.

Today I wrote:

I helped Sam with his homework a couple nights ago and was amazed at his ability to multiply.

He hasn’t been taught multiplication yet, but he knows it.

They were working with coins and there was a word problem that read Rachel has seven dimes, how much money does she have? And Sam blurted out “Seventy Cents” immediately.

Which means he had to get, “Dime is 10 cents” and “Seven times ten equals what?” to “Seventy Cents” in a split second of time.

My jaw dropped.

They had another problem where there was a pattern. I personally see these number pattern things and go cross eyed. This one required multiples of three, that was the pattern.

The missing numbers were in the 80’s and 90’s and Sam just spit it out: 92, 95, 98… again without “showing” any thought process, he just figured it out.

He is mindbogglingly smart, my little boy.

Earlier this week I wrote:

My word today is grace, I prayed it as I combed through Emma’s tangles, knowing if nothing else the word would hold me in a comfortable, strong embrace, like I held Sam this morning.

“It felt so good, holding him.

“Holding him, letting his bones and cells and dirt splotched skin become closer kin to me… it just felt so good. Sam’s skin in my skin.”

We have a morning ritual of holding. I know experts say kids with autism don’t do the touching thing, but for Sam, the “power touch” of firm, 100% present holding is something that always brings him great calm.

He is getting so big, for now he can still fit under my chin and I can hold his entire self against my entire self, cradling him. Before too long, I will need to get creative with my holds.

There are times when he is about to blow that I just take him and hold him. It isn’t restraining, it is presence-holding. It isn’t punishment, it is “I am listening to you, I hear you, and I might not be able to solve your problem with whatever is going on with you… and I can hold you.”

There was a recent day when we were leaving VAC and Sam had leapt into my lap and I had held him a moment and Emma was there, showering him with “I love you so much Sam”s and a Dad was watching us as Sam walked out, sure of his world being just right.

I said to the Dad, “Must be a tough job to be loved so much.”

He laughed.

Don’t we all want that? Where our only job is to be loved so much?

Wow. Brings tears to my eyes.

On March 24 I wrote:

One of these days I will be able to settle into his dramatic improvements rather than be afraid all the time.

Last December I wrote:

Sam's eyes showed sadness today but he didn’t use words to express it. I first saw sadness flit across his face after we took Emma to school.

It came up later, too – when we talked briefly about going to “Williams Street”... and then, vaguely, throughout the day, probably when he went on a thought path that I was not privy to traveling.

I was reminded of John, when he would get sad. It was such a mournful sadness, and so rare… because I never saw it building. It was just an explosion, finally, of deep, utter sadness the likes of which I never knew personally until recently.

I am sure there were flickers of sadness, flitting across his face, too, but I never noticed it. With Sam, I see a lot because I consistently watch for it now.

I was reading about autism this morning again as I was looking for this whole expression piece… not reading other’s expression but “letting it out”.... and didn’t find anything very fitting, but I did find one link that brought tears to my eyes… the frequent presence of chromosomal abnormalities in the families of children with autism, which made me think of John, who had both the chromosomal abnormalities of Down’s Syndrome and the mark of autism.

I wonder if my children will pass up having children because of this? That thought makes me so very sad. And I know I am thinking wayyyy too far in the distance…but…oh, there is such a mixture of emotions here.

The tears turned to a sad half laugh as I told God, “I really have had enough “a-ha’s” for now. You really can slow down the lessons….

Last November I wrote:

I watched Sam climbing the tree, asking me along the way, “A” or “B”? “Straight or left or right?” He always asks which branch to venture upon, where to turn next.

He sat down in the perfect branch bench and I flashed on the thought, “that looks rather dried and crackly” when the six-feet-in-the-air-bench-and-Sam all came crashing to the ground.

It was a moist, water-filled, soft soil landing, but Sam was scared and his belly took a hit from the branch. “Did my heart break?” he asked through tears. “Is my heart broken?”

I went to his side, rubbing him a little, encouraging him.

“The tree needs a time out, Mommy. Time out the tree, please.”

So I gave the tree a stern talking to which it took… like a tree.

I waited for Sam to stop crying, just staying present with him and allowing him to express himself. “Do you want to go home now?” I looked down at my son, shaking still with tears, carpenter’s jeans wet from the lower thigh down from where he fell into the lake after he catapulted himself during a particularly energetic toss of duck-food into the water.

I thought he looked pretty miserable.

“I want to stay here longer and larger.” He said, getting up. “I want to climb the tree again.” He stood by the crooked branches and said, “A” or “B”?

I looked, said a little prayer and chose “A.” He scrambled up and at one point, when he was horizontal with the earth, he stood on a branch as if it was a balance beam. I stood a couple arms lengths away and held my breath. If he fell, he fell.

I am obviously not a hovering parent.

I was with Katherine, so much so that I often wonder how she turned out so well.

As I retell this story on the page, Sam is playing in the back yard. He came in a moment ago after hearing some church bells sounding their 11:45 song.

“Are those the First Presbyterian Church Bells, the Bakersfield College Bells or the Greek Orthodox Church bells?”

I stop typing, look at him and pronounce, “Those are the Garces Memorial High School Church bells.”

“Ok,” he said and walked back outside.

I relaxed with Samuel and Emma. I let them discover their way. Sometimes they get hurt. Sometimes tree-limb branches give way when you don’t expect it. Sometimes you throw a piece of bread towards a duck with such passion, the energy knocks you off your feet and you fall in the lake and get wet.

Its all ok.

We walked around Hart Park, exploring sections Sam calls “God’s Garden Center”. We talked to a man named Steve who was birding on his way to the golf course. I learned in the winter there may be up to 100 breeds of birds making their home right in this very park.

We ended up where we always end up, at a small playground where Sam turns the climbing structure into a house in his mind with all the areas carefully selected different rooms and all three slides with different destinations.

I watched Sam for a bit and then decided to lie down on one of the benches and stretch out.

I wondered if this is what it felt like to be a homeless person.

I watched the branches of the pine tree beside me move and sway in the slight breeze. I enjoyed this unique under-belly point of view. I peered around the grove of trees and saw a whole gaggle of geese resting there in the distance.

I saw a man go into the restroom wearing one outfit and go out wearing a completely different ensemble including very, very white ankle socks.

I laughed to hear Sam had taken slide “A” into the puddle at the bottom. His pants were wet from his earlier fall, it didn’t hurt anything to get them wet again.

My only wish? I wish I had written a note to myself – to charge your battery overnight every night you plan on using your camera in the morning. I took… oh, a handful of shots and there it went. Off! Off! Off! Off!

The good thing is I got to experience this like I wouldn’t have experienced it if I was busy taking pictures. It turned out exactly as it was meant to, complete with Sam falling into the lake and falling onto a moist, forgiving soil.

I will not hover over my child, I will allow him to discover and follow his own fascinations in his own way.

I can hear some people disagree, that we need to protect our children from such experiences.

No, I don’t need to protect Sam from falling from a relatively low branch of a tree or from tumbling into a foot of water when I am standing right beside him.

“But he has autism!”

Yes, he does. And your point is?

He is quirky and so logical and concrete at times I think I will pull my hair out of my scalp. Being outdoors, exploring, allows him the space to roam, to explore, to learn it is normal to feel both scared and safe at the same time.

Sounds like a great environment in which to grow.

End of October, 2007:

I am going to try to be succinct and not get upset.

The language assessment did not go well. After a half an hour of not being able to engage Sam in her assessment process, the speech and language “professional” turned to me and said,

“Julie, this is not a disability, this is a brat.”

Yes. Those were her exact words.

That was….about ninety minutes ago and since then I have been on the phone with a variety of people.

I am now creating a paper trail, so I wrote a letter to her supervisor stating what she said, when, the bare minimum.

OK, I am off to get this printed, head to the school district for delivery, and then? I am not sure what.

I am mad, I am sad BUT I am not tumbling into despair.

From Mid-October, 2007

One of Sam’s incessant questions is, “What is it?” followed up with second incessant question, “What does it mean?”

When I am cranky, like I was tonight, these two simple questions for the 895th time that day can get downright painful.

Sam was antsy and since it has been a while, I agreed to take him on a pre-bed ride. We were driving down Christmas Tree Lane not far from home and he said, “What is it?” and I had no idea what “that” he meant.

“Let’s see, a streetlight, an apartment, a utility pole? I don’t know.”

He asked again, “What is it?”

“Oh, I don’t know, Sam. Wait. I know. It’s life.”

We were driving down an ordinary street. We were driving on life. It seemed reasonable.

It was apparently the right answer. Sam asked his follow up.

“What does it mean?”

“It means you are breathing. Your heart is beating. You are growing, moving forward… hopefully.”

And then I smiled.

Sam sat silently, apparently satisfied with my response.

From a Year Ago, Today:

Sam and I went to the psychiatrist at Kaiser today. She finally gave me the official diagnosis that I knew all along.

Sam has Asperger’s.

Not PDD, not ADHD, not any other label… Asperger’s, as I first discovered when God and Gooogle got together and reached out and said, “Look, Julie… look here!”

I now have a paper to wave around to all the bureaucratic types. “See?! It is true!”

I am glad and yet, I am sad.

The most refreshing thing was hearing the psychiatrist being so compassionate and knowing the BS I went through, precisely, with the school last year and their bungling of Sam’s education and behavior.

She got it. She heard me. She cares.

I know they are all supposed to care, but sometimes it doesn’t seem like it.

Sam admitted he was in the first grade today.

Progress.

I’m not crying anymore.

Potty Training 101

Mon, 06 Oct 2008 10:46:55 PDT

HELP! So we have started potty training my son who will be two in January. At first he was all about the potty! Now it seems he has lost interest and I am not sure what to do. Does anyone have tip, tricks or advice?

Thank you!

mr.oscat@dagny's

Sat, 04 Oct 2008 09:41:51 PDT

WOW!!!!!! - what a turn-out. we had dagny's packed-up, inside and out..... thank you for your support, it was so much fun for us to play for everyone.... i think everyone should start a kindie-rock band so they can experience what we got to experience last night (hint to all those who play....) - and... thank you's to all of those who helped us last night, from promotion (jason and tracey) and photography (holly carlyle) all the way to Art (the art teacher) who helped us roadie gear afterwards. and if you were there, you. you chose to bring your kids out to a local family-friendly concert and share in the fun on a friday evening when it could have been much easier to stay at home. you are the ingredient that makes this work..... so....from "the mr.oscat band" to you.....we say... thank you.(and a big goofy hug)

(if you have pics.. post 'em. we wanna see.......)

Kids Cooking

Fri, 03 Oct 2008 16:21:27 PDT

Learning just joined today. Looking for Trick and Treats photos from last years class. Until I find them you can visit our website, www.Rangelcateringand eventplanner.com

Easing A Heartache

Fri, 03 Oct 2008 00:10:32 PDT

Tonite my little girl's heart was hurting. A school friend is moving away and she has been sad about it all week. So she cried and I cried with her. I didn't know what else to do. I feel helpless, and it stinks. Gone are the days of protecting her from everything. I cannot kiss this hurt and make it better. All I can do is hold her and encourage her and sing her to sleep, which I did.

As she finally fell off to sleep I looked at her sweet little face, although it's a little older now, I can still see the faint outline of my baby underneath. Sometimes I forget just how new she is to this old world. And I know this is just the first of many heartaches to come. It has not been so long that I have forgotten what it's like to ache at the thought of missing someone; or the sinking feeling of disappointment that accompanies the knowledge that you may never see them again. But I told her that it was better to have known him for a little while than to have never met him. I thought about how happiness and pain go hand in hand, though I did not say it to her in those words. She will learn that hard lesson time and time again, but it is part of living--and life is a beautiful, wonderful, difficult, painful thing all rolled into one. Even knowing this, who of us would choose to sit it out?

Mac or PC?

Thu, 02 Oct 2008 17:43:52 PDT

Give me some help here. I have been a PC owner/defender for years (Dell and HP), but my recent struggles with their service department have me at the end of my rope, so much so that I am actually considering moving to a Mac. Never thought I would even utter those words, but my experiences can no longer allow me to defend the PC without giving the other side it's shot.

What do you own, and would you buy it again, and why?

Contest winners, fun stuff to do, and a welcome...

Thu, 02 Oct 2008 12:37:03 PDT

Congratulations to RaisingBakersfield.com members bobbysaka, BossLady, Jeagle222, and deannimal67, who have each won a family 4-pack of tickets to Sunday afternoon's performance of Disney On Ice at the Rabobank Arena!

Thank you to all who entered the contest, which brought us so many new members and hundreds of new photos in our Scrapbooks. Look for some of these great photos to grace the cover of our monthly print newsletter, available mid-month at locations across town, in the coming months.

To those of you who are new to RaisingBakersfield.com, welcome again! There are so many ways for you to participate and interact with other local parents here, so please, explore - and let me know if you have any questions! If you have a public profile (and remember, even with a public profile, you can control what does and does not appear online - control your information via your "edit my settings" page), you can start a journal, put images, information and links on your profile page, and "friend" other users. (You do not have to have a public profile to comment on journals or forums or submit photos.)

Our homepage is a great entry point to our website, with feeds of the latest journal entries, comments, scrapbooks, and contests, as well as featured content highlighted in our slideshow tabs at the top of the page. As you explore the site, don't forget to vist our Calendar often for updated family-friendly event listings, our Parent Perks section for discounts and deals offered by local businesses just for you, and our free parent-to-parent classified ads, perfect for unloading unneeded stuff as our families grow.

Speaking of family-friendly events, be sure to say hello if you see me at the Mr.Oscat concert tomorrow, Friday, Oct. 3, at 6:15 at Dagny's Coffee Company downtown. Mr.Oscat is Bakersfield's own homegrown kindie-rock band (and he blogs here about hip kids' music), and their shows are always a rollicking, kazoo-rific good time for kids and their grownups alike. (This show is being presented by our friends at momEconnect.com.) This First Friday in the Downtown Arts District is sure to be a kid-friendly good time - stop by the eagerly anticipated new children's boutique, Ellie Jaye's, near 19th and Eye and just down the street from Dagny's, to see if they're open yet!

Come say hi on Sunday too, at the Health and Fitness Family Fun Day being put on at Liberty Park by our sister publications the Voices.

Thanks for all the well wishes that came my way after my last post, and again, to all the new members, welcome - and to all our longtime users, thanks so much for making this a warm, inviting, lively community of local parents.

birthday

Thu, 02 Oct 2008 07:48:49 PDT

Today is the big day!!! My daughter is now 9. woo 9 years went by in a blink. They grow up way to fast! It would be great if we could freeze frame them at the age we want them at, have them stay there. LOL My hubby is on the phone with her right now calling from work, its sooo cute listening to him sing happy birthday to her, she has him on speaker phone. I love to hear my daughter laughing. She is so happy and feeling like such a big kid now. I ran into her room this morning, singing and cheering, spraying silly string all over her to get her up. She loved that. I am so proud of her, she is a great kid. I love her so much. HAPPY BIRTHDAY PRINCESS!!!!

First Time Mommy

Wed, 01 Oct 2008 20:46:23 PDT

I am a first time mommy. My son Cash was born on August 10, 2008. For the last 7 years I have run a large licensed child care with 14 children out of my home with my mom. When I got pregnant I was very sick and made the decision to close down, and it's a good thing I did because I was very ill for 4 months. On August 1 my husband and I moved into our first home that we have owned, and little Cash was due on the fifth. He decided to wait for 5 days after his due date. Now for the first time in my life I am not helping a ton of other people raise their children while they spend their days at work, and am instead raising my own little man! I knew it wouldn't be easy, but I had no idea how rewarding it would be! Over the last 7 weeks I have spent every day watching my baby grow and develop faster than I ever knew a baby could. He is growing so fast that sometimes I wish I could go back to the day he was born and hold my little new born again. I know I have so much to look forward to and I really enjoy seeing how other families on this site are loving being parents to their precious little ones, it is really inspiring.

Feeling content.

Wed, 01 Oct 2008 19:59:19 PDT

The other day, while I was putting away laundry, I could hear my husband in the playroom reading with our kids. They were talking about shapes, counting the sides on a triangle and square, and discussing the colors of the different shapes in the book.

At that moment, I felt content. Like my life was just as it should be, with my family spending quality time together, loving and learning together. I knew as soon as I finished the laundry, I would go in there and sit with them, poring over their new shapes book with them, enjoying their cute little voices and faces as they pointed to the pictures. I am so blessed to be able to enjoy moments like this.

FREE day at the preschool

Wed, 01 Oct 2008 08:57:31 PDT

Come and play with us for FREE. Parent and child must be present together. We offer Kindergarten readiness, low monthly tuition, Music program, and Parent involvement. We have been serving Bakersfield for over 50 years. Call us today to set up you FREE playday with your child and experience first hand what we can provide for you.

Bakersfield Parent Nursery

Falling into October

Tue, 30 Sep 2008 22:24:20 PDT

After a month of transitions...moving, starting back to school (for me and my oldest) and just a general upheaval of our lives, I am looking forward to settling into October, which is my favorite month, like a comfortable old chair. The month usually brings with it cooler weather (cue Autumn breeze) and sometimes even rain, which I always receive as a special gift from the heavens to me for my birthday, which is also this month. The changing of the leaves, Fall carnivals, pumpkin patches, they're all a part of my favortie month of the year. By now I am always so exhausted with the lingering heat of summer, that Fall is, literally, a breath of fresh air. I can't wait to pull out my sweaters and long pants. To finally slip on shoes that are more closed than they are open, and cozy up with my family in our new home and count our many blessings.

7 week countdown

Tue, 30 Sep 2008 15:47:38 PDT

It feels like just yesterday when I was writing my first blog post here. And now I'm in my eighth month of pregnancy! But at the same time, it really does feel like I've been pregnant all year ... so time is both going slowly and flying by!

We've had a good September. The fair was the highlight, of course. We went three times! Once to see The Bangles, once to see all the exhibits and some motorcycle racing, and once to see Joan Jett. The total tally of foods eaten is this:

Corn dogs (2), pink lemonade, hot link, deep-fried s'more, soft serve vanilla ice cream cone, corn on the cob, onion rings, cinnamon roll with icing and nuts, pulled pork barbecue sandwich, cole slaw, funnel cake with strawberries and whipped cream, one sip of beer.

And guess what? I only gained four pounds in September! That's a pound a week, and that is right on track. I guess I have a built-in calorie burner!

Unfortunately, I experienced about a week of morning sickness again. It started with me puking in the middle of getting a facial last Saturday. (How embarrassing!) Then the next day, James had to pull over so I could puke on the side of the freeway on our way out of town to visit his family. A couple of days of Zofran put me back on track, though, and I'm feeling a lot better now.

At our OB appointment last week, the doctor heard the heartbeat below my belly button, which means the baby is head-down (the correct position for birth). We have our third childbirth class tonight, where we get to tour the birth center and see the rooms and accomodations. I also just got a prenatal yoga video, which is helping me to stretch my ligaments and strengthen my muscles for the birth.

All the invitations for the baby shower are in the mail. We finally finished registering at Babies R Us. We bought a family vehicle last night (2005 GMC Envoy) — with financing, despite the single-day worst drop in the stock market ever.

Everything seems to be coming together! I don't feel overwhelmed anymore, just excited and anxious to meet our baby boy. James is going to be a wonderful birth partner, I just know it. He is already practicing pain management with me. We held ice cubes in our hands the other night to practice breathing and meditation to handle the pain. I know contractions will be far worse than a little old ice cube, but at least we are preparing!

Just seven weeks to go ... (or five if he's early or nine if he's late ...)

hey, guess what.... we're playing... no, really

Tue, 30 Sep 2008 15:19:43 PDT

the mr.oscat band is playing this friday oct 3rd at dagnys coffee on 20th and eye st at 6:15pm. and for the first time, we have a full band, with james dethlefsen playing the double bass and bruce jones on his brand spankin' new cocktail drum (and of course, christopher o'brien and myself...). this is part of the downtown "first friday arts fair" and also linked to the latter half of the "up on the roof / down on the street" event, too. hey! if you got something else we can pin this gig on, we'll be more than proud to do so, i suppose, we are equal opportunity pinners.... so, if you come to see us, be sure to come up and say hello, i'm easy to find, i'm the guy that looks like mr.oscat....oh, and... bring your kazoos....

Free tix to Talladega Frights haunted house!

Sat, 27 Sep 2008 20:43:36 PDT

The Northwest Voice has FREE tickets ($10 value each) to opening night of Talladega Frights!!

Rules:

Must be a new Web site user enrolled before Oct. 2.
Must be ready to be very, very frightened. I'm not kidding about this.

Caution Parents: Talladega Frights is only for ages 13 and over due to the graphic nature of the show.

Read the humble beginnings of Talladega Frights and see what is in store for its victims.

See the offical Talladega Frights web site here.

*Drawing will be held and winners selected from all new Web site users registered from Sept. 24-Oct.1.

Raising More Bakersfield

Fri, 26 Sep 2008 15:07:39 PDT

It seems like a lot of RaisingBakersfield.com parents have been announcing impending additions to their families lately. First, let me say, to you all, congratulations! And second, well, who am I to spoil a trend? Heh.

My wife [referred to on this blog as "la dra."] is 20 weeks pregnant--we're at the half-way mark! We're due at the beginning of February.

The Pumpkin [my nom de blog for our now almost-4-year-old daughter since I started dadblogging when she was one] has been pulling for a girl since before we got pregnant. Once we knew we were, we tried to get across the idea that we didn't really have much say in the matter, but she wasn't having it. "I want a little sister!" Finally, she started coming around, referring to her future sibling as "her or him."

But this week, we had our 20-week ultrasound. You know, the one that's really to check on the development of things like limbs and stuff, but which everyone thinks is just to peek for evidence or absence of penile and testicular protrusions. Of course, this isn't an exact science, and we've all heard stories of people convinced, by an ultrasound reading, that they were gonna have one thing and ended up getting a big surprise. The Pumpkin herself was quite the uncooperative portrait-sitter in utero, giving us her back until seven months. And even then, we tried to keep the possibility of a misreading in the back of our minds, just in case.

Well, this time, both my wife and her OB agree that there's a 95% chance that The Pumpkin's wish will be fulfilled. [It's great being married to a doctor--for me, ultrasounds are like those Magic Eye posters from the early '90s, I could never ever see anything in those.] Barring any unforseen tuckage, we're having another girl.

It's funny, though, as this pregnancy has been totally different for la dra. than when she was pregnant with The Pumpkin. Real bad "morning" sickness then, not so much now; craving fruits and vegetables then, devouring meat now--that sort of thing. And so, conventional wisdom says that when the second pregnancy is so different from the first, you're probably having a baby of whatever sex the first one isn't. So we tried to come up with boy names, but just like last time, we couldn't come up with something we could agree on.

But, just like last time, we quickly devised and agreed upon an out-of-the-blue girl's first and middle name. Now, it looks like we'll get to use it.

If, that is, we can get around The Pumpkin. I mentioned her insistence on having a sister vs. a brother, right? Well, she also came up with a name for said sister. Tuzana. Rhymes with "banana." I have no idea where she came up with that one. I don't even think there are any Susannahs at her preschool. But anyway, she's been calling "baby" that for a while now, and now that we "know" it's a girl... I tried to introduce the idea of the name we've chosen, and she said that she already had a name, Tuzana. I tried to explain about nicknames or even personal family pet names, how this could be her special name for her. She wasn't buying it. "She has one name!" Oy. It's not like we could've included her by letting her choose between two names we liked or one name we liked and one name we knew she wouldn't choose--she'd already named her. [At least, one friend reminded me, she'd moved on from her earlier choice in sibling names--Lion.] I'm hoping that, just like she was able to get used to the idea of potentially having a brother, she'll get used to the idea that her sister's official name is not going to be Tuzana. She's got a few months. Heh.

But in her honor, baby's nom de blog will be, from now on, 2zana. I'm so happy that so many of my fellow RaisingBakersfield.com parents are also getting ready to add to their families, and I can't wait to hear about it and chat with you all.

$5.00 Off School or Sports Physcial

Fri, 26 Sep 2008 11:07:29 PDT

Pediatric Urgent Care there for you with caring touch and a friendly smile. Full Staff of Doctors and Nurses to make your child’s owie better! Pediatric Urgent Care * Minor illness & injuries * Sports & School Physicals * Most insurance accepted. Extended hours: Monday - Friday 1:00pm to 9:30pm Saturday & Sunday 9:00am to 9:00pm 9900 Stockdale Hwy. Ste. 105 Bakersfield, CA 93311 661-410-9500 Offer expires 12/31/08

Pedi Center

POPCORN

Thu, 25 Sep 2008 15:38:29 PDT

Saturday, September 27, 2008 kicks off the annual Cub Scout / Boy Scout Popcorn sale. This is the equivalent to the Girl Scout cookie sale. This is their BIG fundraiser of the year. Proceeds benefit the Pack activities as well as Den activities and Council activities. Watch for the boys in your neighborhood for order sheets and support a very worthy cause.

The Power of the Written Word

Wed, 24 Sep 2008 08:21:26 PDT

I don't know if any of you noticed the writing of mine in the Californian recently, but many people who I didn't expect to notice noticed.

My words were from my writing here about Emma's difficulty with transition to Middle School and I continue to get comments and kudos about it... and Emma has gotten lots of positive attention. I was a bit concerned when the schoool counselor called me after receiving a copy of the article from Emma's teacher.

The school counselor brought Emma in for a meeting and they had a fantastic conversation which was probably the highlight of Emma's Middle School experience thus far.

Katherine's English teacher at East High read it and commented... and the reader who made Emma happiest was the Mom one of her friends from her old elementary school.

Emma got an invitation to Ventura for the weekend, so trust me my friends, Emma is very happy to have something beachy to look forward to come Friday night.

We have been watching the Math Class Videos Holt Rinehart and Winston puts out so I am re-learning 6th and 7th grade math long forgotten. Emma is attending her youth group at church and enjoying that and the counselor is looking into starting a Twilight Book Club specifically for Emma and also, the school paper looks like it may happen....

I met a seventh grade girl last night who told me this year has been much, much better for her than sixth grade so I am breathing easier.

Everything is going to be ok.

KC Fair Time

Sat, 20 Sep 2008 19:06:58 PDT

Must say we've had some good times at the KC Fair this year. The highlight for me was the Bordeaux Mastiff. (I'll be doing some research on the breed- must gather info before heading into new dog territory). Take a look at our KC Fair 2008 pics.

How I Met the Bangles at the Kern County Fair!

Sat, 20 Sep 2008 02:07:54 PDT

If you've ever walked like an Egyptian, had a manic Monday, or burned an eternal flame back in the 80's, then chances are, you've heard of the Bangles. The all-girl band with lead singer Susanna Hoffs, guitarist Vicki Peterson, and drummer Debbi Peterson are back on tour. Bassist Michael Steele left the group in 2005. The Bangles rocked out to a crowded Budweiser Pavilion on opening night at the Kern County fair on Wednesday.

Since I was such a huge fan back in their heyday, I knew I wanted to see them in concert again. I brought my dear friends Laura and Michelle with me. A big thank you goes out to my husband Ben and our friend Jason for watching two toddlers and a baby while we were having a girls night out.

As Laura and Michelle listened to the songs, I walked around trying to see how I could finagle a backstage meeting. By the way, someone actually mistook Laura for Susanna Hoffs after the show! Anyway, one of the security guards let me take a few pictures in the front row, but since there weren’t any empty seats, I had to leave the area. I then befriended some cops. They were looking at my custom "Bangle On" t-shirt so I stopped by their lookout spot and reassured them that I wasn’t a crazy stalker, just a fan of their music. The cops were really nice and said they were fans, too. I wonder how they felt about that verse in Walk Like An Egyptian which says "If you want to find all the cops they're hanging out in the doughnut shop." Hmm.

Next, I stumbled onto a guy named Justin Dickey selling Bangles merchandise who also happened to be Susanna Hoffs' nephew by marriage! His uncle and Hoffs' husband is Jay Roach of "Meet the Parents" and "Austin Powers" fame. Justin was pretty cool so we talked and hung out for a bit. I wondered if he might be able to get us backstage. He told me that I had a 10 percent chance of meeting them. It turns out that ten was all I needed.

The trick was to wait for the Bangles' manager to come to the merchandise booth after the show and then ask to meet the band. Well, when the set ended, Justin became inundated with fans. The merchandise lines got so long that that James, a friendly fair security guard, who actually remembered me as a TV news reporter years ago, told me to help Justin out.

So, I marched myself over to the table and just started selling t-shirts for $20, CD’s for $15, and autographed DVD’s for $30. That may have been one of the zaniest moments in my life. One girl even wanted to buy the shirt that I was wearing! As I was hard at “work,” the cops I talked to earlier came by and said, “I thought you said you weren’t a stalker, and now you’re working their booth!” They got a nice chuckle out of that.

Finally, when the manager John came over, Susanna’s nephew said, “Nina has been so awesome. She’s been helping me sell some of the t-shirts and merchandise.” John said he NEVER lets anyone meet the band after shows since they do “meet-and-greets” before their performances, but he’d make an exception for us.

So, we went backstage and waited for the Bangles. After chatting with the manager and their male keyboardist for a while, Vicki, Debbi, and Susanna came out to meet us. They were really nice. They loved my "Bangle On" t-shirt and were impressed that I knew a lot of their more obscure songs. Their manager said, “This is Nina. She goes way back with your music.” Vicki didn’t believe him so she quizzed me. She said, “How far back?” I said, “Back to the bassist Annette.” Annette was one of the original band members who played with them on their first album. To that, Vicki said, “Wow, that is far back.” I thanked them for meeting with us and said that, "We know you're tired and just want to drive back home to L.A. so we'll just take a quick photo with you and be out of your way." I also told them that I had two kids at home and one of them wasn't feeling well. Debbi asked me how old they were and said, “Three and one? Oh, bless their hearts. Hope your little one feels better.”

Michelle and Laura were nice enough to let me take a picture with the band by myself first. Since the group is down to only three members, I jokingly said, “I like to think of myself as the fourth Bangle. You guys need a Chinese Bangle!” Then, everyone laughed and Susanna's nephew snapped our picture.

That night, I got a chance to tell the Bangles that their music was such an integral part of my life growing up, that my favorite album is 1988's “Everything,” and that Vicki is a brilliant songwriter. I feel as if I was able to close a teenage chapter in my life; like somehow, I revisited my youth and gave the inner adolescent fan a gift of meeting her favorite band. Who knew that dreams could come true at the Kern County Fair? Bangle On, indeed!

tooth ache

Fri, 19 Sep 2008 22:42:44 PDT

OK here is another question...... could anyone suggest a really good patient dentist, I have a great one for my daughter but I need one for myself. I have a big problem when it comes to going to the dentist. I don't like going. So I made an appointment at excel dentistry because they offer nitrous oxide and also offer 2 types of sleep dentistry. Well one of the sleep dentistry cost $400.00. The other one cost WAY more. My insurance does not cover that. The nitrous is what I would need, that one is only $100.00. Well the price they quoted me for the dental work I would need is way, way, way, ridiculous!!!!! Their business also does not offer payment plans, you have to go through a third party credit card, or pay the office the full amount upfront before they work on you. Not to mention also the dentist himself was rude, and not patient. At one point I had ask him a question because I did not understand something he was explaining to me, he then raised his voice up, and used a lot of hand movement. I could see he was getting frustrated with me because I did not understand the procedure with a root canal. Considering how much I fear going to the dentist, I would need to find one that offers nitrous, and a dentist that understands how to work with someone who does not like going. The only thing good that came out of going to him was he gave me a prescription for Amoxicillin

So if anyone knows of a really good dentist to go to I am all ears! THANKS

Back to School Night, Take 3

Thu, 18 Sep 2008 17:25:35 PDT

Monday night was the final "Back to School Night" of this academic year. Earlier I had attended evenings at East Bakersfield High School, Washington Middle School and all day I was looking forward to attending/not looking forward to attending this event for Samuel at Harris.

The beginning of this academic year has been a rocky one with Sam being assigned a new teacher after all Summer long we reassured him he would have Mrs. G and her same teacher assistants.

It is different in Special Day Classes, I was told. The same teacher for a couple years. For once, I thought, Sam would not have a surprise. For once, I could trust things would be ok.

Well, sure enough there was a new teacher assigned.

The same teaching assistants weren't there.

Samuel has had more behavioral blips this year so far than in the entirety of last year.

The part of the new teacher I appreciate is she keeps in touch with me. We talk at least once a week.

Monday in his afterschool program at VAC he had a melt-down, the first one that was this big ever in his time there. He was still crying and upset when he left school and I drove him home so I could begin my marathon night including his Back-to-School night.

He is stressed out about something, but a component of his autistic spectrum disorder is he has language processing problems. He might have a problem brewing, but he can't put words to what is going on verbally.

I read the sentences he wrote earlier that day and my jaw dropped. "Did you dictate these to him?" I asked.

"No," said his teacher, the behavior specialist. "I gave them some starters, but he wrote the sentences on his own."

He had written seven sentences, two that speak clearly to his mood and could impact his behavior:

"I need a hug" and

"He can't go because of me."

Who knows how long the latter has been rumbling in his brain and I don't know what he is referring to in the sentence. He probably wouldn't be willing to talk about it. BUT HE WAS willing to write about it.

Breakthrough.

I alerted the teacher to this and her response was that she would have him journal more. And hopefully - she will talk to him more when he writes sentences that say "I need some TLC."

On Tuesday he mentioned last year's teacher by name for the first time. Until this point, she was an unmentionable in our home. I imagine he feels some level of distrust and desertion because of her surprising departure.

I know that is what it ignited in me.

We move along though, one foot in front of the other, and I keep talking to the teacher to get Sam what he needs educationally. Next step, an updated IEP to begin moving him into the mainstreaming process.

I was a bit worried (baffled?) when I read the sentences he had written. They might as well have been an alarm buzzer saying "stressful time, behavior alert to follow."

On a scale of 1 to 192 ...

Thu, 18 Sep 2008 15:41:35 PDT

I could blame the corn dog, hot link and 1/2 of a deep-fried s'more I ate at the Kern County Fair last night ...

The last time I was weighed was at my doc appointment two weeks ago. 186. Not bad. On track. Good work.

Now, according to "The book" I should be gaining a pound a week. So I decided to go down to the gym at work and weigh myself today. I was expecting about 188.

As I approached the scale, I noticed it was set to 192. "Oh Lord, please don't let me weigh 192," I said out loud. (I was alone in the room.) I stepped onto the scale and it clanged downward. Oh good. So I slide the measurer back to 190, expecting it to stay down. Nope, it raised up. "Oh my," I said. "More than 190?" I moved it to 191. It stayed up.

OK, but at 192, it clanged down. So which is it? I slowly slid the measurer up — 191 1/4. 191 1/2. 191 3/4. It slowly rose and rested at a balance.

"Lord, you are funny! You have quite the sense of humor!" So I don't weigh 192 YET - but I bet I will by tomorrow. Aye aye aye. Whatever -- it's not going to stop me from eating more corn dogs and a deep fried Snickers when I go back to the fair next week!

In other news, we are still working on our Babies R Us registry. Here are some pics of us trying out the products.

The Women Are In Agreement!

Thu, 18 Sep 2008 08:49:50 PDT

The kiddo tip toed into our room in the wee hours of the morning. Not even the birds were awake. So we just let her snuggle in with us. The first one to fall back asleep, of course, is the hubby/daddy. In the distance I hear the chugging of the locomotive (my husband's snoring in its beginning stage - you know, before he really gets going). As the clock ticks, the locomotive gets louder and louder, and I'm about to give the hubby a whack on the back and tell him to roll over, when the kiddo shakes her daddy and says, "Moddy, I don't like it when you make that noise. Would you stop, please?" Atta girl! Help the momma out!

Maybe the hubby and kiddo should switch rooms??? :)

apple pickin'

Wed, 17 Sep 2008 09:24:35 PDT

What's the best apple farm in Tehachapi for toddlers? Lower branches & room to roam? Thanks!

Goodnight Sweet Girl

Mon, 15 Sep 2008 19:29:48 PDT

After being tucked in tonight-

Kiddo (yelling): Mo-om!!! (pause as she waits for a response) Mommmmmyyyyyyyy!!!!! I need you to come here.

Me: What, honey?

Kiddo: Come here! I need something.

Me: Just tell me what you need.

Kiddo: I . . . Uh . . . I need . . . Uh . . . What do I need, Mommy?

Me: (giggling) You just need to talk to me. Goodnight, sweet girl.

Kiddo: Goodnight, Mommy.

Silence.

Crib vs. Bassinet vs. "play yard"

Mon, 15 Sep 2008 12:56:58 PDT

As we research baby sleeping arrangements, we are having a hard time deciding what to do. Maybe some of you parents out there have advice.

Of course, we would like a crib for the baby's room. But for the first couple of months, we'd like the baby to sleep in the bedroom with us. So what do we put in the bedroom? Cradles seem unstable, bassinets are way cheesy and frilly, and "play yards" don't seem very durable. But we like the idea of a portable sleeper of some kind that we can have in the bedroom, and take with us when traveling.

We are against co-sleepers (which attach to the bed) because our research has found this is unsafe for the baby, who can fall between the sleeper and the bed and suffocate. For the same reason, some of the "play yards" with the attachable bassinet don't seem safe either.

I'm attaching some photos of products under consideration. But there seem to be pros and cons with them all. Help!

Good family Doctors

Mon, 15 Sep 2008 08:01:22 PDT

Does anyone know of a GOOD family Doctor, Preferable a female? My daughter and I would feel more comfortable with a women, but my hubby wants a male, so maybe an office with both. The place we go to now, we are just not happy with them.

New Here

Sun, 14 Sep 2008 20:48:41 PDT

Hi! I am new to this site and I am not sure what it's like....But I am a mom to a beautiful 17 month old boy (genius, might I add). We are actually living in Beijing, China right now, but we will be coming back in November. My husband is a student at CSUB in Computer Science, and I am about 6 units shy of getting my MA from MB Biblical Seminary in Fresno. Which I have put on hold for the time being...I like being a SAHM, and school was taking me away from the ones that I love. It was a very hard decision to make, but I am so grateful I did. Anyway, we're in China because my husband is doing him Internship here. It's been great! I am absolutely loving it!

So, heres my reason for searching out raisingbakersfield: After I had my son, I had severe post-partum depression. I finally feel like I've got a handle on myself. But, I feel like I have been out of touch with everyone and everything. Now that I am better, I want to build friendships and find community activities that I can be involved in. I don't know what there is here, but I thought this would be a good place to start.

Mama

Sat, 13 Sep 2008 20:05:26 PDT

I sit here and think of my grandmother she was always mama that is what we all called her. She was the glue in this family! She was a women before her time she tested her faith and left a man and a country that had betrayed her. She got a job sewing at May co. and put herself and two daughters through school at a time when being a single mother was almost unheard of!

She went on to become a teacher always the one who cared about her students and put them first. She would tutor them was at one school almost 35 years! And was always seeing a student who loved her dearly. "Hello Mrs Felder I am so and so" I would see this over and over. She made every uniform and dress I wore before age 15. Gave me a love of books I have to this day. Was funny sweet and kind. She will be missed.

RIP mama.

Only two months to go - Ah!

Fri, 12 Sep 2008 22:22:20 PDT

Well folks, the impending birth of this baby is starting to hit me. We've got nine weeks to go, if the baby adheres to the due date of Nov. 21. Less if he comes early. James and I made a timeline of stuff we need to do before he's born, and let me tell you, I'm feeling pretty overwhelmed right now.

We haven't bought a single thing that we'll need, except UC Santa Cruz and UC Berkeley outfits (hey, gotta indoctrinate the tyke to love our alma maters at an early age). We need to register for gifts for the baby shower. But before we do all that, we need to research products and safety and consumer ratings. We also need to buy a "family" vehicle (the three of us won't be able to travel together in the truck). We need to paint and fix up the spare room for the nursery. And then there's all the stuff I need to finish at work so I feel good about taking maternity leave.

Things we have done so far: Chosen the finalists for baby names, which we are keeping a secret until we meet the baby face-to-face and see what fits. UM, that's about it.

Tuesday we have our first childbirth class. Those will go for five weeks, then we have a two-week breastfeeding class. Hopefully these classes will help calm some of my anxiety.

In other news, my ligaments are still sore and tender, but feeling a lot more stable than before. I still get up slowly from a chair. But I went to water aerobics last night and felt great! I wish I had a pool so I could swim every day. The hardest part is getting out of the water. I feel soooo heavy when I emerge from the pool. In the water, I bob. On land, I bobble.

We are super excited to meet our baby boy, though. He moves around so much, I can't wait to see what he's like "on the outside." He sure seems to have a good time in my belly, though. I call it "Romper Womb." I feel like a human bounce house. But I love feeling him move around. It doesn't hurt at all (yet).

This weekend's assignment: Research cribs, strollers, cloth vs. disposable diapers, etc. Start registering for gifts!

More Like Sam

Fri, 12 Sep 2008 14:50:48 PDT

I begin this blog with a bit of information about my son.

He is somewhere on the Autistic Spectrum - some say High Functioning Autism, some say Asperger's, I say neurologically atypical... don't care about the labels, care more about how to be the best mom to him given his uniqueness.

You probably bump into kids on the Spectrum every day and don't even know it. 1 out of 150 kids is neurologically atypical and until last August - when I diagnosed my child after a fluke google search of "sensory overload"... a diagnosis the school system ignored at first yet later agreed and doctors and other professionals agreed, wholeheartedly... all of a sudden the sky cleared and I had a reason why and a way to work with him just slightly differently which will ensure he is successful AND quite a bit happier.

Behind this link is an article which is helpful not only for kids with autism, it may be helpful in dealing with your "regular" child, too. When I first read this article (and the book it inspired) I sat in Barnes and Noble on California Avenue, crying.

With that, a bit of an essay I wrote the other night after I watched my son's first attempts at diving when he was trying out a local swim team. I had told the coach "Oh, he can't swim 25 yards without stopping" and he did. Not once, not twice, but at least six times in one evening.

Then it came time to try diving, a brand new skill.

Here is what I saw:

I prefer not to see it as "stong-willed" I prefer to say "stubborn determination" or simply "wildly tenacious."

I watch my son move from "I am too scared!" and "I can't do it" to "Show me, let me try it a little bit and in a way that helps me get to the goal" to "OK, I am taking it on - just try to stop me" over a less than thirty minute period.

The problem is conventional methods say one can't continue until you "pass go" so to speak and master whatever it is that remains unmastered.

That doesn't work for my son.

Nagging, cajoling or almost any verbal prompt only serves to add fuel to his frustrated fire, which then takes the guise of anger or belligerance or defiance.

He is not being defiant, he is processing. He is taking the language, the scenario, the "what needs to be done" and allowing his brain to assimilate it all.

My daughter tends to do that by building UP a wall of fear. She starts with "I'm too scared!" and the scared gets bigger.

Sam says "I am scared" and then systematically - using his own mind tools and methodology, he works it out.

He uses the "I am scared" as inspiration.

I look at my children and wonder what makes them different, where do the two splinter off into building the fear and dismantling the fear?

Secondly, I look at myself and wonder, "where can I bring shifts in myself to be more like Sam?"

Ahhh, that brings tears to my eyes again. "How can I be more like my neurologically 'atypical' son? My son with a 'special ed' label, my son who is so profoundly deep, so aware, so unique."

Yes. I want to be more like him.

Get Your Fangs Out, It's Fall Ball!

Fri, 12 Sep 2008 12:14:40 PDT

I had only imagined and had only speculated the joys and frustrations that make up organized youth sports. If I’m being honest, I really only saw the frustration up until recently when my eldest son started T-Ball. Before we had an opportunity to participate in youth sports, I only saw throngs of parents sitting in wobbly camping chairs either in the extreme heat or extreme cold, watching a practice or a game either too early or too late in the day but more often smack in the middle of a meal time. And, sometimes I saw tired and dirty boys and girls piling into a fast food restaurant at an hour nearing bedtime with cleats still on their feet and designated jersey numbers upon their backs.

“Is this our future?” I had asked my husband before we had our first child.

“Maybe.” He replied.

Well, two sons later it most certainly is our present. And after being at our eldest son’s first t-ball game, I see the joy of the game and only found frustration in the parking situation. For those of you who don’t see that there is a parking situation, perhaps a few rules will help you stop annoying the rest of us.

Rule Number One: Little cars should not be so bold when you have angry moms in SUV’s. If you drive a little car, think bumblebee and rhinoceros. Hope that helps.

Rule Number Two: Just because your car can fit there, it still doesn’t make it a parking spot.

Rule Number Three: I don’t think the architects of these parking lots have envisioned the lots, as clearly as some of you have, that there should only be one point of ingress and egress as you have clearly created by disregarding Rule #’s 1 and 2.

But, be that as it may, what I don’t do to offend as far as parking is concerned, I seemed to have more than made up for in the realm of being annoying and offensive on the field. I videotaped nearly the entire game and have watched it almost every day this week. And, I’ll be the first one to admit it’s hard to watch without curling my shoulders up to my ears at the sheer shrillness of my voice, screaming to my son to run, run, run and catch it, catch it, catch it!

Ah, yes. I’m quite embarrassed with myself. I used to make fun of crazy moms like me. Naturally, I assumed I would not be one of those psychotic sports moms. But there’s just something about MY kid that makes me think he’s so much better than everyone else’s and I feel an overwhelming need to let all of you know that. I kid, of course, but at the game I screamed and I screamed and I screamed. I interfered with the dugout, overstepped the natural boundaries between observer and wanna-be coach, and probably inserted my big butt in the frame of several different snapshots trying to be taken by demure and properly sitting parents when their own child was up at bat. Uh yeah, I got nothing except…I’m sorry.

All I can say is that I have evidence through my videotaping that I may have taken it a bit overboard. I’m going to try to tone it down a smidge before the next game and try my darndest to not get out of my seat. Of course, my seat might be up against the fence at home base, but I promise to attempt sitting.

So, some of you need to understand the rational of white painted, properly designated parking spaces, and I’ll take a muscle relaxer. Then, we’ll all be good and we can say in unison, “Play Ball!”

A catalyst for expression & reflection...

Fri, 12 Sep 2008 08:53:51 PDT

I just have to brag about the upcoming Mile 124. I am SO excited!! http://www.raisingbakersfield.com/home/ViewPost/74588

I wanted to extend a personal invitation to all of you to come by & check it out. If you want to see what kind of creativity lies inside of you-- outside of the day to day parenting craziness, come paint on a canvas or write poetry or think deep. It's seriously going to rock & I am especially excited about our musicians this time around!! Check out the event link to see why!

On a different note, I have to say that coffee is one of my best friends. Sounds silly, but it seriously is one of my loves. Thank you coffee for many empowered days. That & public television... It allows me to utililyze it-- within reason-- to be able to work & keep my sanity as I am working from home.

We're still up here!

Fri, 12 Sep 2008 08:05:38 PDT

Things up on this mountain have been crazy for the last month, but I think it's finally starting to settle down. My work scheduled has finally worked itself into a routine, I work 4 days a week every other week basically. It just happens to be a Monday, then Fri-Sunday of the same week. So Tues, Wed. and Thursday are my days to clean, do laundry, and grocery shopping. It's hard to squeeze a weeks worth of stuff into three days so that I'm not booking myself on a day that I work, and it's torture to myself, but unfornately that's how my life works sometimes.

We were able to save our 4H club, we are now a Cloverbud run club (5-9 y/o), but it was a lot less stress after the first meeting was done. I was able to delegate the next months lessons and activities to three other moms so I don't have to plan every little detail.

And here in the near future I'll be working at the school two or three times a month, I'm going to share a Tuesday with another mom, so I'll have her kids while she works at the school and she'll have my youngest while I work at the school. It works great for our schedules and still gives us the opportunity to be at the school with our sons. Oh and we have 6 news kids in the last 3 weeks, so our enrollment is up to 16 I think.

Moving And Shaking...

Thu, 11 Sep 2008 21:53:26 PDT

We are moving,...AGAIN! It's actually a good thing, but in the midst of trying to organize and pack the mounds of our excess it is a bit overwhelming. 18 months ago I moved myself and my girls into our own place. It was necessary, as my marriage had gotten volatile. But now, 18 months later, we are going to give co-existing another try. After time and counseling and re-assessing what's important and of course, compromise.

The new place is bigger, roomier, with a/c and a garage and a yard my girls can actually play in without fear of abduction. I am excited and nervous and overwhelmed! If I had three wishes I'd use one to magically transport my 'stuff' to the new place and have it all put away and organized.Growing up, we lived in the same house for 14 years. Since moving out 20 years ago, I have logged many moves...and since having kids, which, let's face it, quadruples your stuff, I've moved 4 times, and this move will make it the 5th time in 8 years. That is too frequent if you ask me. I am one of those types who would like to buy a house and live in it forever. But alas that's not how my life has played out. Anyway, I feel fortunate to have my family whole again and fortunate to have found a great place to rent right around the corner from my daughter's school. God is good. He provided the place for us and He will give me the strength I need to relocate our aforementioned excess. I have to say though, it's times like these I think those minimalists have the right idea!!

H.E.A.R.T.S. CONNECTION BUNCO

Thu, 11 Sep 2008 15:34:47 PDT

I saw a comment before that someone is involved in the bunco event for hearts. please contact me., thanks

Swim class today...

Wed, 10 Sep 2008 10:57:50 PDT

So today was the first swim class with his new teacher his old one as well so Anthony could adjust. It went great! She is so nice and calm with him! He is growing in so many ways.

I am glad that they understand him and help him make transitions easier on him, we could have waited 'till the team started and had him just go with the flow but this is better he will get to know Tessa and then be on the team! My sweet Aspie on a team! Who would have thought a year ago he would be able to do this? Sometimes swim class is so much more!

15% Off Magic Tan

Tue, 09 Sep 2008 11:48:25 PDT

Receive a 15% discount on a magic tan! This spray on method gives you a golden glow without the hassle of tanning. Present this coupon at our location. Valid until 11/15/08

Le Mirage

A Wonderful Report

Tue, 09 Sep 2008 09:41:48 PDT

For those of you who don't know, my niece has lupus, and as a result, she has been in kidney failure for some years now. In July, her miracle came, and she received her transplant.

Update-

My niece went for her weekly check up down at UCLA, and the doc said the kidney is working wonderfully. She is healing faster than anyone the doc's seen before. In fact, she was released from all restrictions. She doesn't have to wear the mask anymore. She can go to work and school now. She's free to live.

When the doc gave her the good news, she said, "I want a birthday swim party!" Oh, yeah, baby, you bet! Her bday is this month, and it is certainly worth celebrating!!!

Thank you, thank you, thank you God.

Lightbulb Moment for Katherine

Tue, 09 Sep 2008 05:52:45 PDT

Katherine and I headed to College Night last night at the Bakersfield Convention Center. It is time - she is a Junior at East Bakersfield High School and this is the big year as I remember it.

It was chaos but we created structured chaos, mapping out the schools she was the most interested in visiting. We had a game plan and off we went.

She is in AVID at EB, a program primarily for students who are first generation college goers in their family. This doesn't apply to Katherine, but thankfully she is attending anyway - and Jenna Odlin, the teacher, gave them an assignment which required she actually speak to the representatives.

This was good for Katherine to do. It made her go beyond just picking up brochures and moving along. She has poise, she has ambition and she also has a tendency to be shy. I watched her confidence increase with each representative she spoke with last night.

We also attended a seminar about applying and being accepted to competitive universities. As of this moment Katherine's first choice is Smith College, but when we visited with the woman at Mills College (where my Grandmother was an alumna) she also suggested Mount Holyoke, where she attended and is not far from Smith.

She also confirmed Bryn Mawr is still all women.

We were also both impressed with University of San Francisco - one of the few California Schools in the running. One of my dear friends just started the Performing Arts and Social Justice program. Doesn't that sound like something right up my alley?

I wish I could have had a photo when the rep actually mentioned the dollar amounts for the merit scholarship. Whittier gives full rides, all four years. I keep telling her between her GPA, her extracurricular activities and her Leadership abilities and the fact that all her teachers adore her.... she has a shot at the best schools who will actually compete for HER.

Finally - since _the Professionals_ are saying it, she believes me.

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Mon, 08 Sep 2008 09:58:11 PDT

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WAY TO YOUNG TO FEEL THIS OLD

Mon, 08 Sep 2008 09:02:42 PDT

I sit here entering this blog feeling like I should have blue hair and 50 cats. My oldest ( but actually my baby), the one I gave birth to, gave up a girlish figure for, nurtured, watched grow in so many ways....... has turned 13. Im just sitting on the side lines now waiting for the TEEN DEMON to take over my littel angel. Why is it I never feel older on my birthday, but I feel like an antique on my kid's birthday. Am I alone here?